Poems

Those who know me well know that I love writing poems. Journaling and poetry are my two main outlets of expressing myself. But I haven't been able to write a poem about Amelia. Just little bits here and there, nothing connected. The words simply have not flowed. When I sit down and try hard to think of something, I am stumped. I think my fear is that I cannot string all the memories, dashed hopes and dreams, peace from God, and anticipation of seeing her into one blunt poem. It is like containing the ocean. And then it hit me - I don't have to just write one poem, I can write several. And they may be revised/edited in the future. So here are a few raw bits and pieces from the last couple months:

I've never felt an ache so deep
It rocked my very soul,
Until I lost you, Baby Girl,
The one I long to hold.

Those many months I loved you much
Feeling all your kicks.
The flutters in my womb mid-dawn,
Oft' at 4 and even 6.

When I first heard the awful news
My tears fell free and fast
All my special days with you
Existed in the past.

I'm not ashamed to say it hurt
To let go of your hand
Whisper farewell to my babe;
I still can't understand.

Only your joy up in heaven
Is a balm to my chafed heart;
To know that Jesus holds you close-
Never far to part.
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There are a couple others I can't find at the moment.
Here are a few, written some years back, but still offer encouragement now...

Hope in Jesus
When you turn to find that helper
Or you strain to hold a hand,
When you long for love that's constant-
For someone to understand.

When it seems that life's unfaithful
And your song hits minor tones,
When endurance renders absent
And your spirit soars alone...

You must embrace those feelings
That would drown your faith in God,
Place them in His pierced hands
For 'tis the path He trod.

Though you only see tomorrow
As a vision fading fast;
Remember that His Word long stands
Unlike the with'ring grass.

Oh, you cannot cling to people
Or the fears which dwell within,
For disciples never stay down long;
They get up and try again...and again.

God's grace is always stronger,
The "I Am" will never cease.
So give Him all those longings dear;
He'll replace them with His peace.

Do not reach downward to clasp
That sorrow you once carried.
But Rise again to sing His hymne
For hope has not been buried.
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He's Already There

I love the Lord with all my heart;
His love for me shall never part.

Even when I feel adrift,
To His throne my hands I'll lift.

For there are no waves ever higher
To which His strength does not aspire.

And no valley ever deeper
Where His peace is never steeper.

But when upon the edge I cling
To His glory will I sing?

For though I reach to hold His hand,
Already in His grace I stand.
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When eternity has met me
And earth's strings no longer cling,
My Savior's arms will greet me
And with the angels I will sing.

Not a song heralded proudly,
Nor a tune sweet to the ear,
But in worship chorus sounding
I will praise His Name so dear!

Oh, He's promised me a mansion-
A bright home in glory land.
But you know that I'd dwell cheaply
Just to clasp my Savior's hand.

The saints of God will be there,
And His martyrs with Him reign.
All the dear ones I though were lost
Shall meet my eyes again.

I hope to see Ms. Frivold
Who would lift my needs in prayer.
Who did long to be with Jesus,
And could not the cancer bear.

Then I too will see Ms. Korli
Who I came to see a last time,
But found out she'd gone to glory
Leaving me behind.

There are others that I hope to see
But are not within the fold,
Oh, how I long to see my grandparents
In the heavenly household!

Since I have not yet passed the test,
And still have years to live,
May I each day study heartily
And myself to others give.

I hope to be found faithful
Giving duty's call much heed.
Living life for Jesus' Christ,
Proclaiming love in every deed.

For when the trumpets sound above
We'll meet Him in a wink.
There will be no time for rush,
No minutes left to think.

My friend, be ready for His call
And when life seems dull with pain,
Ne'er give in, stay strong in faith -
Bring glory to His name!