Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Can't believe I'm posting twice in one day!

Just wanted to say, this summer, I am doing a study on Lies Women Believe and the Truth That Sets Them Free by Nancy Leigh DeMoss.

Already it is so good. Already this year, the Holy Spirit has convicted me of bad habits (sin) in my life that I have found freedom from. This is continuing the journey (um, lifelong journey, right?) of that. Might seem depressing to be in that season, but actually it's refreshing. To be free from the bondage of the lie that I am the way I am and will never be able to be different. God is like that. He pursues us with relentless love that never allows us to stay the same, always changing to become like Him.
I am back from the Florida trip. Reese and I eeked it out...nearly 6 hours on a plane from Charlotte, NC. Thank the Lord she slept the first and last 2!

Besides that, Reesie was a peach. Sometimes, I even forgot she was along. Well, except when I had to push her stroller all over the place! I really had an awesome time, though it all seems surreal since it happened over the course of 2 days, 1 day being all travel.

I took a risk in flying out at 8:30 p.m., to arrive at 6:30 a.m. Never again. Let's just say I got 2 hrs of sleep that night. And Reese, who normally sleeps a solid 10/11 hours got only 5, poor girl.

By the time we landed, got the rental car and drove to our friends' house, it was 8:30. You can't just say,"Good to see you, can I take a nap?" Really, all I wanted to do was shut my eyes! Instead, I got ready for the wedding and chatted while Reese got her winks.

It was a small ceremony. The bride had only two bridesmaids, both relatives. And only a handful of people were there. But it was simplistically chic. All the memories went through my head of law school days and awful tests and how my dear friend was always, and I mean always, there for me. Not only for school issues, but matters of the heart. As it turns out, she graduated with her JD and I did not, but I was glad to be there for the day when she did. In fact, she convinced me to play the violin at her graduation (not my best talent). Then, a few years later, this dear woman was in my wedding. Because of her studying in Pennsylvania, then abroad in Oxford, you can see how it was hard to "hang out". But we kept in touch via phone. And after a long road of waiting and searching for the right one and praying her through it all, I found out Hastings had met this amazing guy, Werner, in England. He treated her as any man should treat a woman he loves. I could tell without a doubt I would be hearing wedding bells in the near future. Well, thankfully, that happened this last weekend! What a neat lady, who loves the Lord with all heart, mind, and soul and loves to counsel women. Now her ministry can continue in England where she is going to be the director of a Care Net Center! I didn't even know they had branches over there!

The remainder of the trip, I hung out with our friends, whom I called Aunt and Uncle when I was little. We went to a restaurant called Rusty Belles, right on the water. The next day, we spent the day out. First, at the Orlando outlets, then at Downtown Disney. Its the only area of the "parks" that is completely free to get in to. I must say, I was floored. It was HUGE and had so many cool places to eat and shop. We ate a late lunch at Planet Hollywood, and later had hot fudge sundaes at Ghirardelli. It would take forever to describe all the cool stuff. You just have to go some time! They also had an AMC movie theater/diner.

The next day, we planned to go to Clearwater for the beach, feel the sand between our toes. But it poured. There was a tropical storm in the area. One of the neighboring airlines had lightning strike plane, so we were on the ground waiting for an hour.  In fact, I barely made it out of Florida, before there was drastic hurricane weather! 

Needless to say, I'm still catching up on sleep. To boot, all the girls have colds something fierce. When I left my middle girl only had it. Probably due to the lack of rest they got with relatives babysitting and not realizing the importance of sleep, along with sugar at a weekend birthday party, combined with having to go to church in the morning because Daddy had to teach class. Moms really are the best nurses. My only complaint is that we were scheduled for swim team every morning this week at 9:30 a.m., but have had to miss a couple days.

Last but not least, I took the front bumper off our car last night. It hurts to even write that. A gal visiting the neighbors parked directly in front of our driveway. I successfully inched out, not hitting her, but instead, hooking the fence behind the bumper and peeling it off as I went in reverse. And I was trying so hard not to harm either car! So frustrating. The same neighbor noticed our plight and is going to help us reattach it. They work on their cars all the time. Hope he is successful and it's not an ongoing project. Else I'm taking it to the auto body shop.

Okay, for accountability: last night I had an intense soccer game. Felt like I was insanely running like a dying chicken! The second half was much better, I go into the rhythm and controlled the ball more.

Then this morning, I got a great workout from Denise Austin :) Wow, I have rediscovered muscles! Boy, am I going to hurt. My plan is to walk the circular mall tomorrow. I am trying to exercise every day, that way, if I miss a day or two, I'm still getting something in that week. It is raining which puts a damper on outside exercise.

My eating was horrible on vacation. Donuts, fudge sundaes and fries. Yum, yum ;) Since getting back, I've been eating fruit/yogurt/wheat germ smoothies, peanut butter toast, veggies and beans.

Ah, feels good to have my metabolism up and running.

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

A Hard Path

I am going to a friend's wedding this weekend (in Florida) and have nothing to wear. There is nothing to discourage one from embarking on a weight loss journey like trying on summer clothes. All the places where skin shows is simply scary. I discovered that tonight at Target as I tried on a few pieces. About 75% of everything didn't fit. It's a good thing my children weren't there, because I used the 'f'' word quite a bit. That's right, "fat". I really don't want them to hear me say it. I usually say,"Mommy is trying to lose weight." or "I don't fit into my smaller clothes yet." If they gain weight some day as a teenager or older, I don't want them to think they are destined to remain there, or put themselves in a box.

But to be totally honest, I'm down about where I am with my body. In fact, so down that these past couple weeks, I've struggled and considered giving up. I've put myself in a box and can't get out.

It's not as easy to find time to exercise. I have to be extra purposeful. No hanging out at the gym for a couple hours like I used to do. No going without food since I'm nursing.

It's time to pull out those workout videos, maybe even keep running around my yard, and motivate myself to get to the pool.

I love my husband. He doesn't let me wallow in self-pity. When I whine to him about my weight, I really just want him to shed a tear for me or something. But he doesn't. In fact, he starts telling me that I'm not losing because I'm not taking steps toward my goal, and fills my head with suggestions. He's honest, not negative or overbearing, just honest. I need that.

So, as I record this weight loss journey, I'm going to be truthful. Even when I'm not losing weight and really sucking, I'll tell you because this is a hard path and I'm not going to act like it's easy.

Here's to maybe going on some runs as I stay in Florida for a few days? I'll keep you posted!

Thursday, June 14, 2012

On My Way

I've decided to make this the spot where I keep track of my weight loss! It will be hard when I fail, but great when I don't because hopefully, you will be here reading :)

Last night, I wasn't able to make it to the pool, but I was itching to exercise, so I did jumping jacks for warm-up. Then, I ran around our front and back yards about 10 times. I was thankful my daughter couldn't keep up with me because I am 6 times her age! And though my neighbors may have thought I was weird, it felt wonderful. I will be doing this again.

If anything, the exercise will increase my metabolism. As I posted before, I'm usually an active woman, but have been sedentary. Tonight is our first softball game! I played last year with my husband when first pregnant with Reese. It was great because it helped lift those first-trimester blues. Now, it will help those post-partum pounds! Next week is also when outdoor soccer begins. There are 40 minute halves, as opposed to my indoor games, which were 20 minute halves. Strangely, I like the longer games, because I do better when active in a long streak, versus subbing every few minutes. Being outdoors allows me to breath in the fresh air too.

I know that I'm supposed take in about 2300 calories as a breastfeeding woman. Other information states you need 2700, but based on the book Eat Well, Lose Weight, While Breastfeeding, it can be less. Since I've counted calories before based on this diet, I know about how much my intake is. And it's way too much! Partly because I love food. After having Reese, I was ravenous all the time, having a hay-day since there was no baby to tie up room for my food anymore.

So, my goal is to stay away from dessert, except two/three times a week. I usually eat whole foods and whole grains, but have gotten away from this. Another thing is dairy. I love cheese and milk. But keeping these to a minimum has helped also. Another change is not eating past 9. I've gotten into the horrible habit of late-night eating and that doesn't help one iota.


This is our last day of school! We are so pumped. And so done with K-5. Tomorrow we buy all her new books for 1st grade. And then begins a summer free of book work! Onto library reading club, swimming, playing with friends, craft projects, park days and just being able to do fun stuff all day versus school :)

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

I feel like I don't have time to write here.

Well, I do have time to write, I'm just a perfectionist and nothing seems perfect if I write it in 5 minutes.

Hang the perfection! I'll just update on the last few weeks.

Firstly, my brother got married on June 2! I can't believe it was 10 days ago. Feels like it was just yesterday. I am STILL recovering from our big two weeks while family was here. We had quite the crowd since my mom has 8 sisters and 2 brothers. And that doesn't even mention my dad's side!

It was grand and I didn't cry. Okay, I'll confess, I did cry beforehand. I just got to thinking about how he'll marry this woman and be a husband and how all the years have passed so quickly. Eight of those years, hardly seeing him, too. So all these thoughts passing through my mind...and it hit me: "I will miss him". He and his bride will be living in Florida (where they graduated from college) for a couple years. I won't be able to see them for the first two years (at least) of their married lives! Because of wedding prep etc, we weren't able to see much of him for the two weeks he was here, either. I'm SO happy he's found the girl of his dreams but at the same time I'm sad for me. Maybe I need to finally get Skype or something. Thank God there's facebook, e-mail and texting! Don't worry I won't be contacting him day in and day out, LOL. It might freak his bride out.

We are finishing up school here. I think I said that in my last post, but this is the final week. We are tying loose ends. Finishing these books is just a formality. Brilla has reading, math and writing, hands down~  So proud of her! Here we come first grade! This weekend we attend a home school convention to get all her new books.

Katie is currently down for an extremely early nap. Drastic times call for drastic measures. She woke me up in the middle of the night, once for a huge poopy diaper and the other for who knows what. All I know was that she was yelling at the top of her lungs in the hallway. This in turn woke her baby sister up. Hence, not much rest last night. And needless to say, I'm not at the top of my game either. Naps are in order.

At four months, Reese is cute as a chubby button. She is a super-sweetie. Such a good baby, really only cries for hunger and tiredness! In fact, sometimes I forget she's awake because she so happily entertains herself. She's currently 14 lbs, in the 75th percentile for length and weight. Her neck is very strong. In fact, the strongest of all my babes. Once in a while, she'll roll to the right. She absolutely loves her new Bumbo. Bought it for her with the gift card from my sweet aunt! She sits right up and looks all around, gracing us with a bright and gummy grin. We all dote on her any chance we get, especially her sisters. Yes, even Katie, with all her 2 year old unexpectedness.

I am focusing on losing weight. I have 20 pounds to go, really would like to lose 30. My reward upon reaching my goal is a Kindle Fire. I wanted a Kindle when it first came out, but had absolutely no reason to buy one. Now I have one. I eat pretty healthy, just need to steer clear of sugar. My problem is exercise. Pretty funny seeing I have been fit for most of my life, running and playing soccer for most of it. Just this last year and a half have taken me for a whirl. My body is just not the same after this fourth baby. No little walks will resurrect my abs. I need to run, something major cardio. Thankfully, softball (which is not major cardio but anyway) starts this Thursday and soccer, next Monday. As for the in-between, I need to either do workout videos or laps at the pool. Probably should do the laps. I don't do well with workouts in the home. That's why I always went to the gym before. But I'm trying to save money and swimming is the perfection solution.

Meanwhile, I'm trying to be content in my current situation. I feel like all my "fat clothes" are ugly and that my  body is unattractive. It's a humbling time for me. So, if you get the chance, keep me in your prayers. The important thing is, I'm not satisfied to be overweight and am taking steps to reverse it.

Also, I'm digging into God's Word, wanting to live it out. That means the most to me right now. I'm finding freedom from resentment and anger. Of course, through the power of the Holy Spirit, because all on my own, I'm gonna fail. In fact, I'm immersed into teaching my children about the Lord, and living that in front of them. So easy to be the teacher, harder to be the student. It's a temptation to give up as a parent because you see a long list of failings, but God has not called us to be perfect. Just repentant, willing to change, willing to be molded to His image. The Spirit is the One who gives us the strength and power to do this, to overcome. If we have believed on Christ, we are victors. Sometimes that takes us step by step, hour by hour, but we will get there. And this time in my life is overflowing with joy. As our family continues to treat one another better than ourselves, there is so much happiness.

Okay, time to take that shower before the girlies awake from their nap. That's how it works these days. Cram a little chore in here, take a little rest there. Busy life, but oh, so worth it!

Happy Tuesday,