It's been a week since my last post.

I had a big day at Bible study. We learned that John the Baptist was God's special messenger. It was hurry- scurry as always, in an organized way, as organized as can be with 2s. But seriously. Can I say the word to sum up our time was "Peacefulness"? Go God! This has and always will be His class this year.

I am currently sucking out as much relaxation as I can during nap time. I am so. tired. It's not because I'm over-the-top busy. It's because I'm pregnant! I am so pooped each day right around 1-2 p.m. The other day I lounged on the couch thinking, "I know I should be folding my laundry, but it feels just so good to sit here...". And before I knew it, I was in La-La Land.

I'm 15 weeks tomorrow. My queasiness is fading away, though it still comes on strong if I haven't eaten anything in a while. Tuesdays are the hardest, dinner is not until after my last lesson, after 7:00. But other than that, nothing to whine about! My tummy is getting rounder. I do not mind a bit. The only thing I mind is making sure I have the right clothing to be comfy in. Is there a formal way to wear a robe to church? Because if there is, I want to know about it!!

This last quarter, my paperwork load decreased incredibly. I finally turned over some major things to our accountant. This has been one of the wisest decisions ever. I simply cannot handle that burden, along with expecting a baby next year, and all the other responsibilities in my life. Besides, this extra burden was causing me to become irritable and anxious, two things I know God does not want in my life~

Mike's back continues to get better. I am SO thankful that his injury has seemed to slowly heal so well. Praise God! His 35th birthday is this weekend, and I'm in the middle of trying to make it special :)

Brilla just had her 3 year check-up. She is 38.5 inches, in the 75th percentile for height and weight! She's tall like Daddy! She had some shots due, so I gently warned her that the shots would hurt a little, but then she'd get cool band-aids and a sticker. Well, my BIG girl didn't even whimper! And she got a separate shot in each arm. Needless to say, I was surprised. The next day, we got her pictures taken at Penney's. We always get pics after her birthday at the studio (using the coupon of course!). They really turned out great, though I'm not a bit biased ;) Her hilarious quote of the day: At Bible study, they were playing with a pretend grocery cart/groceries/register. Her teacher said, "And do you have some cash?" Brilla said, "No, I have my credit card!" LOL That's a born shopper for ya!

A Heart Beat Away...

We recently purchased a new multi-purpose printer. You know, the one with fax/print/copy/scan? Well, I've yet to set up. I'm a little scared of the whole thing. I hear you saying, "Just follow the directions." But it takes time...and I've yet a chunk of a couple hours for the project.

Why did I even bring this up?

I wanted to scan pictures of our little bean for you to view!!

Last Thursday, I had my 13 week appointment. My midwife put the thingy to my growing abdomen and I heard the reassuring, steady heartbeat of my tiny Baby. And to boot, she showed me his or her body on the ultrasound!! I was in complete awe. Even if this is my fourth pregnancy.

I say fourth, because, after Amelia, I had a miscarriage in March of this year.

But again, I was totally amazed. That the God of the universe would take such delight in forming all the little body parts of this little child in my womb. At 13 weeks, so much is created already! My baby has fingerprints, veins, and still-transparent skin reveals organs inside Baby's body. Length is 3 inches long (about). On the ultrasound picture, though very basic, I could see Baby kicking around and having a good ole' time!

It's always a treat to go to the appointments. In fact, after this one, Bri and I had a sort of celebration. I got an iced tea and breakfast sandwich at a local coffee shop and Bri got pizza and a pop at the grocery store. Then she got to play on the big toy at a park nearby.

Ah, the simple things in life!

On the Mend and Bri's 3rd!

So much has happened in the last couple weeks, the very reason my last post was a while ago.

God is healing Mike's back! After several visits to the chiropractor, lots of cold packs, rest, ibuprofen and prayer, he is on the mend. He was telling me the other day how he takes having a healthy body for granted. Don't we all! As much as he's been hanging around the house lately, he's away now. He's so glad to be able to get OUT and got to work! I am so happy for him!

Brilla's 3rd birthday was last Saturday. She was supposed to have a butterfly themed cake and everything, but alas, between my cold, Mike not being able to assist and Bible study prep, she still had an awesome party, just not full of butterflies. Honestly, I don't think she even noticed ;)
We had her little friends (and their parents) over. We ate a lunch of chicken nuggets and sweet potato fries for the kids, parents' menu was croissant sandwiches (thank you Costco!) and veggies tray. Though it wasn't decorated all fancy, Brilla still got her banana cake with vanilla butter cream frosting. I should have made two...it went in a flash. We were going to make butterfly suncatchers; however, I looked at all the little toddlers having a blast just being loud and playing games with each other, I thought, "Doing a craft will ruin their fun!" So we finished off the day by opening gifts and taking pictures. I am shocked all the streamers and balloons stayed in their places on the walls! Nothing short of a miracle. This is the first year Bri could not wait for her birthday and loved opening the gifts. She even received a Barbie learning laptop that looks like the real thing. I think it's nicer than mine ;) Poor girl, halfway through her party she was like a zombie. She got a little overwhelmed!

Bible Study Fellowship started up this last week. I was anxious to be prepared (it is my first year being a teacher in the 2's preschool class). God helped me through it and we had so much fun. Excitement and anticipation have replaced anxiety for this coming week.

Piano teaching is the other busy part of my life. I currently have 13/14 students. I've been brainstorming fresh ideas to make piano exciting for all my students. I've started a new chart for prizes and purchased some new card games and visual aids. Wouldn't it be wonderful if some day I had my own little piano studio? I can dream can't I? ;) Anyhow, I love teaching. It is also a ministry. I want both students and parents to know Who created music and to glorify God. Pretty soon here we will be prepping for our Christmas recital!

God has been blessing Mike's business. He frames custom homes, and lately has branched out doing additions, some remodeling, decks, and siding. We can't say enough for his lead guy, Josh, and the rest of the crew. They have worked very hard while Mike's been injured. Lately, jobs have been pouring in! We serve such an amazing Father. He takes care of His own very well, despite the economy.

Letting Go

There are some attitudes I've been struggling to let go of. I don't know why I hold on to them. I think it's comfortable to believe those seemingly small lies, i.e. that if we let go of our certain way of thinking, we won't have control and all will go awry. But am I not a Christian, as Keith Green put it, a little Christ? Is not Christ to have total reign? Contrary to my thinking, when I submit to His control, I am freer to do God's work. These wrong attitudes, sin, weigh me down. They don't allow me to run the race set before me. I can either choose to be handicapped in my lack of confession of sin, or surrender to His Spirit filling every nook and cranny. Last year, my Bible study group taught the preschoolers "Obedience brings blessing!" But so hard to live out in our adult life! If I would only learn by application that submission to God always brings His blessing!!

"What things were gain to me, these I have counted loss for Christ." —Philippians 3:7

Injured Back and Other Glorious Details

Hi there! I'm always asking for your prayers, but that's a good thing, right? We need them again :)

We're a little umm....swamped?

Mike injured his back while working over Labor Day weekend. He is in a lot of pain. This is a first while we've been married. But the chiropractor thinks lifting heavy beams this last weekend "broke the camel's back", that perhaps he's actually had a bad back, etc. but this was the last straw. My husband is in so much pain, that he literally must crawl everywhere or walk super slow with a crutch, like really slow. He's seen the chiropractor 3 times in the last 2 days and feels the tiniest bit better. He doesn't sleep well, either. In fact, I feel real good because right now he's sleeping on the floor in a heap, like snoring sleepin. A first in a while.

Meanwhile, I've had to juggle watching my toddler (thank the Lord right now I only have one!), planning preschool lessons for BSF, teaching piano, recovering from a recent cold (which I thought was better, but now I have the awful cough and my nose is running again!) and basically doing everything for my husband because he can't get around at all. I'm even tying his shoes (poor guy he must feel helpless). And for the first time I had to attend a meeting in his place.

I do not feel stressed right now and please understand I'm not complaining. But reality is, once Bible study starts full swing next week, I will have more on my plate. I want to keep my priorities in line, so please just pray that God would heal Mike's back thoroughly, even if slowly; that I will balance my schedule effectively; that I would recover (and B doesn't catch my bug)...

Lastly, that God would enable Mike and his crew to accomplish everything they need to without builders/homeowners being upset. That God would help Mike to trust that He is in control, and not feel discouraged that he can't be. God has done it in the past, and He can do it again!

Thanks so much!!

Week 11

Oh! I wanted to update you all that I am doing very well at my 11th week of pregnancy. I'm still queasy, can't cook meat because of my acute sense of smell, and extremely tired at about 6 p.m. But that is a good sign that everything is coming along! I can't tell you how thankful I've been just to know that God has blessed us with another little one. More often than not, I am going to Babycenter, and reading all the little details of how our baby is growing. It is amazing! Baby is about 1 1/2 inches long, hands will soon be making fists, teeth buds will soon be under the gums and he/she is already kicking and stretching, though I can't feel it yet.

One thing for sure...my belly has popped! At first I was disdained...at 11 weeks?? But that is what I get after having 3 babes in my tummy :) And plus, now people can see I'm pregnant and can joy with me :) I've already put on those maternity clothes. The great thing about these modern maternity clothes is they fit without having to be fully "tummy out there". I don't have a Fall/Winter wardrobe since I've always been pregnant in the summer. So, sadly that means I will have to go shopping *wink*

My weight gain is coming along normally (gain about 2 lbs). I haven't lost pounds this time 'round, and have managed to keep most of my food down. If you've been praying for me, thank you bunches! I get the normal pregnancy hormonal crazies, and we've yet to still celebrate Amelia's 1 year birthday on Sept 24, but I know the Holy Spirit is right here with me the whole way, holding my hand and speaking truth to my heart.

So Much For a Three Day Weekend

This is from Our Daily Bread today:

"When the work of earning a living, raising a family, maintaining health and fitness, and managing relationships starts to overwhelm us, it’s good to think about how small our part in the universe really is. While we obsess over our work, God quietly does His. He keeps the earth rotating, the planets revolving, and the seasons changing. Without any help from us, He makes the sun rise every morning and set every evening. Every night He changes the pattern of lights in the sky. He turns out the light so we can sleep, and turns it on again so we can see to work and play. Without lifting a finger, we get to enjoy sunrises and sunsets. Every year the seasons change on schedule. We don’t need to pray about it or tell God that it’s time to send spring. All that He does reminds us He is good (Acts 14:17).

Life will at times be difficult, often it is painful, and for now it is imperfect. But still it is good, for in all these things nothing can separate us from God’s lavish expressions of love (Rom. 8:39).

Thank You, loving Father, for the good gift of life. Forgive me for making it complicated for myself and others. I thank You and praise You for all You do so that I can enjoy so much. Amen.

God’s grace is immeasurable; His mercy inexhaustible; His peace inexpressible."

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Anyone else not really doing anything this three-day weekend? *raising hand* My husband has to work most of it, so it will be one short weekend, and one long week next week. I'm trying to be creative, thinking of things to do so Bri and I don't get stuck at home. Because all I can think of right now is how the laundry needs to be done, my room dusted and organized, bathtub sanitized, etc.......

Does anyone in my area know of any Labor Day attractions or fun stuff going on? Perhaps I will surf the web and check things out. There's bound to be something!

We are praying for my dear niece who just received a skull fracture. She fell backwards off one of those cool scooters, a Segway, and had a concussion. No, she was not wearing a helmet. The good news is that the fracture is minimal and should heal normally, of course, with about two plus weeks of bed rest. There were no dents or permanent damage, thank the Lord! But poor niece has been through the mill...extreme pain, vomiting and just overall misery. If you think of her anytime this weekend, please pray for her.

Happy three day weekend to you all!

Tear Soup...brew your own pot

I've just read Tear Soup (by Pat Schwiebert and Chuck DeKlyen).

If you've ever experienced a loss of some sort, you must read this precious book.

I found myself bawling all over again, completely identifying with the author, or rather, the characters in the story, like in these lines...

"She put on her apron because she knew it would get messy. It seems that grief is never clean. People feel misunderstood, feelings get hurt, and wrong assumptions are made all over the place. To make matters worse, grief always takes longer to cook than anyone wants it to. And then...Grandy started to cry. At first she sobbed. Sometimes she wept quietly. And sometimes when she was in a safe place where no one could hear her...she even wailed."

I could read the whole book to you right here. But I won't. You must read it for yourself, and grab a fistful of tissues first.

It seems my Brilla is used to tears by now. We have this down pat. Mommy cries, Brilla studies my face, gives me her blanky, snuggles close and soon she has me smiling.

I have cried a lot this week. I've read and watched so many heart-rending stories of others losing children or family. And I think it is because September is nearing, the month when we lost Amelia. The trees turning, the knowing that the fair is coming soon, Brilla's birthday almost being here, and Bible study starting up again...all the things that happened last year just before we said good-bye to our baby girl. The memories flood back. And instead of shoving back the grief, I have let the tidal wave pull me under. Why? Because I know that I am grieving, with hope. After the gloomy rain comes the magnificent sunlight of God's peace and assurance. Grieving in my own time, letting God heal me has not made me a sadder person, just a more broken one, needing His grace and strength. My Solid Rock.

My brother S wanted to see where his niece was buried. So we stopped by a local gardener's home first and received a beautiful variety of dahlias. The elderly man even gave us a few extra buds to bloom later! We had a perfect view of Mt. Rainer because of the sunshiny day. S agrees with me -truly is an amazing spot for our daughter's grave. I did not shed a single tear while there, probably because I'd cried so much earlier in the week already.

And now "Uncle S" is gone back to college. Little Brilla is heartbroken. But she brightened upon hearing he'll be back for Christmas.

See, good-byes are not forever!