AMAZED

Wow. Every time I feel like I can't last another day with Baby Girl in my belly, I somehow do. I wake up, spend time with God, feed the girls breakfast, clean up, feed snacks, do school, feed lunch, youngest has a nap while I catch up on school and chores, prep dinner, maybe do a little crochet, eat dinner, kids to bed, relax with hubby, then go to bed. Next morning, time to do it all over again!

I am AMAZED. That though I think I can't do it, God helps me get through. I am amazed at His grace not just in this area (I mean what Mom doesn't go through the same), but grace in changing my attitude. Though my body feels sore and weak, my heart and spirit don't. He rejuvenates me with His mercies. It is exhausting to do housework. But it is never tiresome to open His Word and drink. I feel like the more my spirit hungers and is satisfied in Him, the less all the other stuff seems important.

I love the quote I heard today (paraphrased) "We often focus on what God wants us to do for Him, not who He wants us to be." Do I emit the fruit of the Spirit? Do I have less joy and peace than my unbelieving neighbors? Not just to the depth of the smile, but do they see Christ in my life? Is there a difference?

I used to dislike when speakers would ask the probing questions after their dialogue. Now I look forward to the challenging queries. They help me do what God says, not just hear. Yes, I love hearing the sermons and lectures, but I love actually getting into action, though it often catches me off guard because I immediately experience a challenge in the form of my own sinful nature. It's hard to change who we used to be.

But honestly? I look back at who I was 10 years ago, and I see change. I see less insecurity, less legalism and more of desiring God Himself. I'm sure having kids and going through trials has honed home some of that. But the work is all from His Spirit. None from me. I could never naturally just change when I want to.

The exciting thing is, He's not finished. There is more of me to change. It doesn't end until I join Jesus in heaven. "And I am sure of this, that He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ." Phil. 1:6

And what's even more awesome, is that when Christ returns and takes us home, we will be like Him. I don't know what that all entails. But it will be beyond awesome. "But our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly body to be like His glorious body, by the power that enables Him even to subject all things to Himself." Phil 3:21