Building a marriage

My heart is burdened with an increasing amount of broken marriages in my circle. I used to hear about moms and dads getting divorced, but now those moms and dads are my contemporaries and it breaks my heart. And I am praying hard. It's difficult to balance my concern with prayer; because I can't physically do anything about it.

I think often men and women, as married couples, assume that a marriage takes care of itself. That you either marry the right person or you don't. And if you marry the right person, all is well. But anything that you don't work at or build up will eventually crumble or just never mature. Every day is a choice, and a chance, to be the husband or wife God wants you to be.

I am no expert and have not been on the brink of separation or divorce. So I admit, I do not speak from the experience of one who has been there. But though my marriage is not deeply troubled (not to be mistaken with never has been troubled) currently, I am no stranger to heartache.

I do believe that daily private communion with Christ, for each spouse, is essential to a thriving marriage. And applying that in practical ways is the second essential. If you merely strive to be the one your spouse wants you to be, discouragement and depression eventually set in. When you dig deep, however, read His Word and soul-search as to whom God wants you to be, you have cleared so many hurdles already. Not that hardship will never land at your door. But you embrace the hardship beause you serve the One Who works all thing for good for those who love Him.

As I said before, I have not been estranged from my spouse before. But the fire of pain in my life has grown me up. Because it is in the fire of pain that one is molded and made stronger. It is the time when you must put all your "ideas" and "words" of faith to practice...and walk the line. I don't know anyone who prays for or looks forward to the fire. Life is full of it and eventually our roads will reach dips. I pray that God gives you and I strength enough for each one.

I am heartened to continue building my marriage. Day by day, moment by moment, choice by choice. There are days I have failed. I have let it go and let it all hang out, letting my husband carry the responsibility of marriage alone. And we will all have days like that because we are human. But I shouldn't let it become the normal because I am also a child of God, equipped with the Holy Spirit. I have a changed heart that wants to love my husband.

I know this is old news, but if you've never watched the movie, Fireproof, you should. What a wake-up call to never leave our partner behind. I think I'm also going to delve further and take the 40-day journey through the Love Dare. Our marriage is deep, but I believe working on it this way can make it even richer and fuller. If anyone else has taken this journey, I would like to hear how it has affected/ challenged you. FYI, it was only $11.99 at Family Christian Stores last week. It might still be available at that price.