Would I rather have Jesus with me today, as He was with the disciples? Or would I have Jesus as I do today, in Spirit? It would definitely be beyond awesome to see my Lord face to face. As I think deeper though, I realize if He did not go to heaven, the Spirit could not dwell within us. If the Spirit did not dwell in us, we would be like the disciples were - limited in our understanding of spiritual things, powerless to preach the Gospel to everyone. Also, the disciples didn't instantly have the Holy Spirit. They had to wait until Jesus returned to His Father. Today, the moment we believe upon Jesus in saving faith, we instantly have the Holy Spirit. The Helper who guides us into all understanding about Jesus. I don't have to understand all at once, though. I just need to walk in His truth and I see the next step I need to take in obedience to Him. I feel like never having seen the Lord Jesus, my perception of Him is not limited. To me, I serve a HUGE God.
"These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you might have peace. In the world you will have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world."
I was thinking of a recent time when I felt Jesus' presence in a hard spot, even though He wasn't physically with me. It was last year, and work for the company was low. Totally unexpectedly, Mike threw his back out. He was literally crawling on the floor to get around the house, and laying flat on his back most of the time. He had meetings to be at, projects to oversee and was obviously limited. I had to pick up the slack. Not only that, but I was trying to handle the rigors as a Bible study leader, being pregnant, teaching piano and caring for my daughter. I just remember one day feeling completely overwhelmed. I sat in the hallway, cried my eyes out, and surrendered to Jesus. I think I prayed, "Lord, I can't do this on my own. I am tired. I'm exhausted. Please help me!!" In about 2 minutes, I had a piano student, so didn't have time to wallow in self-pity. All I know is, Jesus answered my prayer and gave me the peace and strength I needed. It was miraculous. I often wonder what moms do without knowing the strength and peace Jesus gives. How do they survive?
I know others have had much more trying circumstances. But we all are on the exact path God wants to take us. Even though physically we must endure tribulation and trouble, those who love Jesus having nothing to fear. All is well with our soul. Our world around us may seem to crumble and collapse, but our faith cannot be taken away.
Going on to another subject, I think it's important not to forget God's showing Himself real to me in the past. Yet, at the same time, I can't live on yesterday's manna. We need to have that daily fellowship with Jesus. So, I've been challenging myself to see how God's worked in my life recently. Not last year, but right now. It's fine to give our testimony of how we first came to Jesus, but what has much happened since then? Do we have any answered prayers? Fulfilled promises from His Word?
For me personally, I have been working on anger/irritability. Not just watching my tongue, but watching my heart. I've noticed a change. I'm not angelic, but Jesus is working out His ways in me. Another area is loving my husband. I truly love my husband and am so incredibly blessed to have him in my life, but often my actions don't match up. I'm your average human woman with weaknesses. I think fear, worry, and selfishness get in the way so often. But they truly are cobwebs which fog up my lens of right spiritual growth and trust in the Lord. Needless to say, I'm still working on this, but instead of feeling like a failure, I know I can meet this challenge with Jesus' power. Though an average woman, I'm unmistakably a child of God with a new nature, wanting to please my Savior!
I love it that Jesus' promises His disciples joy. Not happiness, not a good feeling, but joy. God has given me my joy back. Losing Amelia made a big whole in my heart that only Jesus could fill. Well, Jesus has filled it and even though there's a scar, there's also a blossom of hope. I know He has even greater plans for my life. Especially with our soon to come Katie Claire, and many other things down the road. Life with Jesus is beautiful, even amidst the times of pain and aching.
God has answered our prayer about reaching out to our neighborhood. Before we bought our home, we asked God to lead us to the right area where we could be a light for Him. And as of right now, we have relationship with 6 different neighbors! Praise God! And quite a few of those neighbors have children, whom we've been able to share about Jesus with in our Bible club. Not only that, we are looking for a local church where we can invite those friends/neighbors to. There are some moms I have bonded with, and we're even pregnant at the same time! God is amazing in His timing. Just the fact that my Bible study group is about 10 minutes away is a blessing as well. I'm inviting the neighbor women to come. The awesome thing about Bible Study Fellowship is that they've opened up to "under-2s"! So many more young moms can attend!
If you don't know what Bible Study Fellowship is, I'll describe it in a nutshell. From the get-go, I have found its simplicity life-changing and rewarding. It's a Bible study based solely on the Bible. The first hour is spent in a small group with other women of similar age and Biblical understanding. The discussion surrounds a page of questions given to each woman the week before. The second hour, all the women from the groups gather together to worship and listen to a lecture on what was just discussed in small groups. These lectures are never boring. I always leave more in love with the Lord, and challenged in my faith. The awesome thing is, BSF provides childcare free of charge! And now they take from infant all the way to 5 years old (for day classes). They also have evening classes for women with children in grade school. In day class, your children aren't just in childcare. They are basically in preschool. The time is organized into Story/Bible Verse/Large Muscle/Snack/Quiet Time/Rhythm and even a Closing. So you get your time alone (with other women) studying God's word, knowing your child is getting it from their angle!
I didn't mean to get off the subject of my post, but Bible Study Fellowship has been an absolute blessing in my life. God has shown me so much through it!
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