From Love Dare

I'm slowly but surely making my way through The Love Dare book. I want to make sure I fulfill each of the challenges. Today is very good, "Love Promotes Intimacy", and I had to share some thoughts.

"Marriage is the most intimate of all human relationships. That's why we need it so much. Each of us comes into life with an inborn hunger to be known, loved, and accepted. We want people to know our name, to recognize us when they see us, and to value who we are. The prospect of sharing our home with another person who knows us down to the most intimate detail is part of the deep pleasure of marriage. Yet this great blessing is also the site of its greatest danger. Someone who knows us this intimately can either love us at depths we never imagined, or can wound us in ways we may never fully recover from...

Are the secrets your spouse knows about you reasons for shame, or reasons for drawing you closer? If your spouse were asked the same question, would they say you make them feel safe, or scared?...

Your mate should not feel pressured to be perfect in order to receive your approval. They should not walk on eggshells in the very place where they ought to feel the most comfortable in their bare feet. Being "naked" and "not ashamed" (Gen. 2:25) should exist in the same sentence, right in your marriage- physically and emotionally...

...you and you alone weild the power either to reject your spouse because of this or to welcome them in- warts and all. They will either know they're in a place of safety where they are free to make mistakes, or they will recoil into themselves and be lost to you, perhaps forever. Loving them well should be your life's work...

And yet God, who knows secrets about us that we even hid from ourselves, loves us at a depth we cannot begin to fathom. How much more should we - as imperfect people - reach out to our spouse in grace and understanding, accepting them for who they are and assuring them that their secrets are safe with us."

~

Throughout my reading of this book, I am tempted to think, "My husband needs to read this" or "This other couple I know needs this very much" and to not think deeply about my own marriage. I want my husband to feel safe around me. Honestly, my husband creates a sense of freedom in our marriage and I feel very safe.

Prevention is worth a pound of cure, and isn't my marriage worth working on? I think that's what happens to many. They don't count working on their marriage as important as taxes, going to work, or buying groceries. It can wait. Or, it's not really that big of a deal.

I have a neighbor whose marriage has split up and it's killing my husband and I to see it completely break up the family. Thankfully, God has put us in their lives as people they can trust, so we have been asking God to use us in whatever way He can. Sometimes that's just a listening ear, sometimes it's speaking words of truth, often it's simply prayer.

I think it's a challenge to each of us to make sure our bond with our mate is enduring and rich. Not just when it's convenient and on the mountain tops, but even in the shameful, hurtful times.

God bless our marriages!