Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Casting out fear and other afternoon chat

My Wednesday started out and ended pretty unexciting.The middle part - that was the best.

This afternoon I able to chat with other women from my Bible Study group. We gathered around with our lunches and coffee and talked about...what else is better?...God! We shared answered prayer. Our God is so mighty! He answers in ways that blow our "options" for Him to answer our prayers. His ways are so much higher and wiser. So outside the box.

We also cried together. I honestly do not consider myself a woman of strength, but another gal thanked me for my strength amidst my trial, that is has encouraged her a lot lately. When she thinks of me, she said she sheds tears. I can't tell you what a balm that was to my heart. I'm just feebly peddling along day after day, trying to do what I believe God has for me to do...even though deep in the background, the loss of my daughter is still pretty fresh. Truth is, I am NOT a strong woman, but I serve a STRONG GOD!! Amen and Amen. Truly when we are weak, He is strong. I shared that the reason I love studying God's Word is because during the last couple months in my life, I've only wanted to be with God. I didn't want to listen to my usual cd selection, didn't want tv, no shopping, no hanging out with friends. Just God, my journal and a hymn cd by Chris Rice someone gave me at Amelia's memorial service. And in hindsight, that is where I have needed to be. At God's feet, reading His Words, daily needing His strength, longing and begging for His peace, crying tears, surrendering and continuing the cycle over and over.

I was graced today by these 4 ladies. We all have kids and all have struggles as parents. We continue to pray for each other in matters of discipline, heartache and keeping a home in this economy. Especially when you're husband is in construction! ;) We talked about trusting God and not fearing. Not making decisions based on fear. One woman was afraid to take her child out of private school to put him in public school. But another woman pointed out that God is in public school, too. Lesson being - God is in control. We just have to meet with Him and ask Him for wisdom, which will continually drive out our fear. I mentioned that lately I have struggled with fear. I'm not a big worrier. I don't usually take unnecessary burdens on my shoulders. But since Amelia's death, I have been pulled toward worrying about my husband's and daughter's safety. I've just had to give that to God and ask, "God, please take away me fear and give my heart peace. You are in control." Satan can use fear in our lives to place a wedge between us and God. We think we're doing the right thing, but really, the right thing is to let go, surrender to His will and bathe the situation in prayer. Even if things hit rock bottom, maybe that is what God has planned.

Anyway, I am such a blessed girl to meet with these women every Wednesday!

Can I also say I am super thankful that my mom watched Bri basically all morning/afternoon so I could meet with this group! Thank you, Mom. Your kindness goes noticed.

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