Just As I Am

I am pooped. Really pooped.

Funniest thing that made me laugh today? My chiropractor said,"I thought you'd be pregnant again by  now!" We had a good hearty chuckle at that one because, let's just say, life is uber busy right now. And my three kids are wearing me out - not ready to add another to the mix.

I am in the middle of audit preparation, my kids have been sick, and I've had the darnedest time motivating my eldest to finish her school work. Needless to say, we are putting off school for a while.

Today is the first in a while where I felt stressed out. Like I couldn't handle another whine, excuse or poopy diaper. I literally felt like a robot. Just going through the motions. At one point, my only mantra was "coffee, coffee, must have coffee". I don't look like a warrior but I guarantee you, I survived a battle today.

The battle of the every day.

We took out our sword of the Spirit this morning, The Lord knew we needed it., that I needed it. Psalm 107. A powerful testimony to the Lord's steadfast love. We spent a good portion of the morning simply thanking God for all He has done for us. Boy, that's a long list. Why am I ever discontent and discomfited? All I ever need is Christ, sad that sometimes all I ever want is Christ plus  this and that.

Hm.

Writing on my blog soothes my mind. I've always enjoyed writing, always kept a journal (since I was 9). Unfortunately, I don't get a chance to write as much as I'd like, especially since kids. I was very lonely as a teen, so writing was an outlet for me. Helped me express my emotions, made me feel like I had an invisible audience, but many times He was very real because many of my entries were prayers to God.

In fact, I used to write poetry like a madwoman. It flew off my fingertips. It was a continuance of that deeply felt emotion. Now I look at the collection and I wonder if I will ever get that streak back. I still admire well written poetry. I think it's lacking today, especially with our technology. Twitter and facebook have taken over, (including me in the takeover), as well as this kind of modern creative writing that is choppy, shallow and unattractive. One writer, not a poet, I love to read is Ann Voskamp. Her writing literally lilts as you read it.

The happy notes of today were the peekaboo sunshine, watching my children play outside together, Psalms, my coffee, my tea, playing with my ipad, girls made totally happy by ravioli with a movie, my husband putting the kids to bed. Ah, simple things!