Just As I Am

I feel like I don't have time to write here.

Well, I do have time to write, I'm just a perfectionist and nothing seems perfect if I write it in 5 minutes.

Hang the perfection! I'll just update on the last few weeks.

Firstly, my brother got married on June 2! I can't believe it was 10 days ago. Feels like it was just yesterday. I am STILL recovering from our big two weeks while family was here. We had quite the crowd since my mom has 8 sisters and 2 brothers. And that doesn't even mention my dad's side!

It was grand and I didn't cry. Okay, I'll confess, I did cry beforehand. I just got to thinking about how he'll marry this woman and be a husband and how all the years have passed so quickly. Eight of those years, hardly seeing him, too. So all these thoughts passing through my mind...and it hit me: "I will miss him". He and his bride will be living in Florida (where they graduated from college) for a couple years. I won't be able to see them for the first two years (at least) of their married lives! Because of wedding prep etc, we weren't able to see much of him for the two weeks he was here, either. I'm SO happy he's found the girl of his dreams but at the same time I'm sad for me. Maybe I need to finally get Skype or something. Thank God there's facebook, e-mail and texting! Don't worry I won't be contacting him day in and day out, LOL. It might freak his bride out.

We are finishing up school here. I think I said that in my last post, but this is the final week. We are tying loose ends. Finishing these books is just a formality. Brilla has reading, math and writing, hands down~  So proud of her! Here we come first grade! This weekend we attend a home school convention to get all her new books.

Katie is currently down for an extremely early nap. Drastic times call for drastic measures. She woke me up in the middle of the night, once for a huge poopy diaper and the other for who knows what. All I know was that she was yelling at the top of her lungs in the hallway. This in turn woke her baby sister up. Hence, not much rest last night. And needless to say, I'm not at the top of my game either. Naps are in order.

At four months, Reese is cute as a chubby button. She is a super-sweetie. Such a good baby, really only cries for hunger and tiredness! In fact, sometimes I forget she's awake because she so happily entertains herself. She's currently 14 lbs, in the 75th percentile for length and weight. Her neck is very strong. In fact, the strongest of all my babes. Once in a while, she'll roll to the right. She absolutely loves her new Bumbo. Bought it for her with the gift card from my sweet aunt! She sits right up and looks all around, gracing us with a bright and gummy grin. We all dote on her any chance we get, especially her sisters. Yes, even Katie, with all her 2 year old unexpectedness.

I am focusing on losing weight. I have 20 pounds to go, really would like to lose 30. My reward upon reaching my goal is a Kindle Fire. I wanted a Kindle when it first came out, but had absolutely no reason to buy one. Now I have one. I eat pretty healthy, just need to steer clear of sugar. My problem is exercise. Pretty funny seeing I have been fit for most of my life, running and playing soccer for most of it. Just this last year and a half have taken me for a whirl. My body is just not the same after this fourth baby. No little walks will resurrect my abs. I need to run, something major cardio. Thankfully, softball (which is not major cardio but anyway) starts this Thursday and soccer, next Monday. As for the in-between, I need to either do workout videos or laps at the pool. Probably should do the laps. I don't do well with workouts in the home. That's why I always went to the gym before. But I'm trying to save money and swimming is the perfection solution.

Meanwhile, I'm trying to be content in my current situation. I feel like all my "fat clothes" are ugly and that my  body is unattractive. It's a humbling time for me. So, if you get the chance, keep me in your prayers. The important thing is, I'm not satisfied to be overweight and am taking steps to reverse it.

Also, I'm digging into God's Word, wanting to live it out. That means the most to me right now. I'm finding freedom from resentment and anger. Of course, through the power of the Holy Spirit, because all on my own, I'm gonna fail. In fact, I'm immersed into teaching my children about the Lord, and living that in front of them. So easy to be the teacher, harder to be the student. It's a temptation to give up as a parent because you see a long list of failings, but God has not called us to be perfect. Just repentant, willing to change, willing to be molded to His image. The Spirit is the One who gives us the strength and power to do this, to overcome. If we have believed on Christ, we are victors. Sometimes that takes us step by step, hour by hour, but we will get there. And this time in my life is overflowing with joy. As our family continues to treat one another better than ourselves, there is so much happiness.

Okay, time to take that shower before the girlies awake from their nap. That's how it works these days. Cram a little chore in here, take a little rest there. Busy life, but oh, so worth it!

Happy Tuesday,
Joy