I struggle lately being able to have quality time studying God's Word. I get so doggone tired from taking care of my four little ones, to bookkeeping with the business, to my selling business to prepping for the home school year and on top of that, getting all the little housework things done...like cleaning my bathroom faucet for heaven's sake! Yesterday, I took one look at it and thought 'how have I let it get that bad??' while promptly scrubbing it with a stray toothbrush under the counter. Good thing the perfectionist in me went by the wayside at three kids. I'd be a mess. I still am sometimes. Oh well.

Moms, remember when you were single, or even married without kids, or only had one kid and you set out to have 'devotion' time with God? And you actually spent the proverbial 30 min or more each day doing so? Thank God, that now four kids and 11 years married later, when I spend time with God, I drink Him up. I am so thirsty and hungry. It may not be every day I get to or it may even be 5 min before my kids interrupt, but I am hungry and thirsty and can't get enough. It's not just a check off my list but a genuine need and love for Him.

Strangely, I just recently discovered that Bible Gateway has audio, so I can listen to His Word while doing dishes or laundry. It's amazing. I love transforming these dull and annoying chores into ones I look forward to. Don't get me wrong, sometimes I put on our book club's audio book instead, but really...audio Bible??! In this day and age and American culture, we are so incredibly blessed. And what I like most is that I can rewind verses to meditate on them repeatedly. Especially Hebrews. Complex Hebrews.

I have also found that having a Biblical study (of sorts) written by a godly older woman has been helpful. I'm currently (still) on Drawing Near to the heart of God by Cynthia Heald. It has been inspiring to my every day faith in God with chapters like His Immeasurable Love, His Manifold Goodness, His Absolute Sovereignty, or His Perfect Will. In this book, I can tell Mrs. Heald is an imperfect fellow sister in Christ striving to walk in Christ's steps.

But like I said, it's been tough. I feel lately like I've fallen off the bandwagon. Just struggling to pray and working on my attitude towards the kids.  Thankfully, now I realize that it has nothing to do with my standing with God or His love for me if I don't. But I miss out on our relationship. My inward self and outside tumults become gigantic as the things of God grow dim and I lose sight of priorities.

God must be first and I want Him to be. Here is to a week of striving to be purposeful in seeking Him out.

So I guess my new blogging strategy is to post every 6 months! Ha! Some days I even forget I have a blog. But people who love to write, no matter their station, are always drawn to pen their thoughts once again.

Seasons of life. We each are in one. Whether its single hood, newly married and working, stay-at-home-mom craziness, working away from the home, taking care of our parents while taking care of our own children, empty-nesting, retirement, etc, we are each in a season. God has us right where he wants us.

Sometimes the discontent of our current surroundings rises up and threatens to choke us. We begin to feel bitter, wishing we had made different choices in life. Wishing, no longing, for a different place. It's so tempting, because the grass always seems greener on the other side, right?

I think half the battle of us finding joy is thankfulness. Not just ambiguous thanks. Thankfulness is submitting ourselves under the sovereign hand of God. Its saying "Where I'm at right now might be hard, or even unbearable, but I know God has a plan and is working all thing for good". He absolutely adores His children and wants the best for them. But that's different than how the world sees success. They see it as absence from pain, or suffering. But God knows those things only prove to strengthen those who love Him, and develop our character. Take joy that you are watched constantly. He takes care of the lilies and birds of the field; He most certainly watches us!

Another part of thankfulness is slowing down the spoil factor. We live in such a demanding society. Really, we can have what we want almost instantly. We think we deserve this and that, and if we can attain it, why not go for it? God wants us to be happy right? He wants us to achieve our dreams, right? Yes, God wants us to have joy, which is a fruit of the Spirit, but does not come about through achieving our dreams. We were created to solely give Him glory. He may choose to bless and provide for us in different ways. However, we must always remember that instantly, all that could be removed from our lives. And when in desperate need, Whom will we worship? Can we bless God in much and in little? Can we love him in feast or famine?

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Currently, my knee is out of commission. Yep, soccer injury. When I first injured it, it swelled up like a balloon and hurt horribly. after a few months, swelling has definitely gone down and it was feeling a little better. Recently, I started jumping on the trampoline with my girls and it started getting irritated again. So I finally set up an appointment for an MRI. The result? I have a radial tear in my meniscus. The doctor says surgery. Can you believe it after 25 years of soccer, and not once did I have to have surgery until now? The positives are its a 30 min procedure and I could be on my feet within the week. No exercise/heavy activity for 6 weeks though. There is also a post-op taking out of stitches. I'm really not looking forward to the process, but I'm looking forward to playing soccer again. I'm not excited about physical therapy, but I AM excited about exercising and losing this baby fat! I have been bummed during this time where God just picked me up out of my exercise regimen and set me aside. I've not been the happiest camper. But after about a month of inwardly groaning and just detesting my stagnancy, it dawned on me...'God has a purpose in this'. I dont' know what it is, but I will know later. " And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose."
I know in this verse God is talking about much deeper things than a knee injury but in this time, I can know He is working all things for His grand purpose and obviously, this is  not a hiccup in His plan. I am working on trusting!

Happy Monday

Today was one of those days. Tonight was one of those nights. Mom didn't feel too good and the kidlets were in rare form.

Brought the middle girly home from dance and said hello to a monstrous mess throughout the house. It was mainly my nearly-three girl's fault, but really, all the kids gladly contributed to toys in every.nook.and.cranny.

Monday is co-op day, and the beginning of all things school and regular schedule. It's also paperwork and pay bills day since I don't have to teach. After cramming that all into one morning, along with not feeling well, I was pooped.

So when I got home and the kids hadn't eaten and my home was a hurricane, I knew it was a long night ahead.

The saving grace was chicken quesadillas for dinner. I gobbled those things up like an athlete gobbles Powerade. Then we proceeded to clean.

Not to mince words, I am a drill sergeant during clean-up. I am slightly impatient in that I want the mess fixed fast and to boot I have young children who are in training and not so focused. In fact, my youngest is in "Squirrel!" mode 99% of the time. I'm also impatient because I want to be done and have some fun. That's my motto.

Now the rest is history. My kids are all in bed. The house is officially clean. I am sitting on the couch, with a headache, but happily munching on a cinnamon roll. A neck massage pillow behind my head. Re-watching the NFC Championship game. Okay, that last part is not my choice but my husband's. Which is so totally funny to me because...yes, I like to replay games, but maybe a month later when there's no more football? It happened like last night for heaven's sake. He makes me laugh.

Tomorrow is the dawn of a new day. And new messes. But give me a cup of coffee and I can take it.

Happy Monday!