Overflowing

My cup overflows. God is so good and so amazing. I have nothing to complain or argue about.
But I do it anyway.
I tend to view my cup as half full, but on some things I have a downright pity party. I simply forget to trust God's unfailing character or I get my eyes off of Him and onto the things of his world. Whatever the case, I choose to become discontent or disconnected because I forget God's gifts.

I like what one pastor said. "A thankless person can always find the manure pile in a beautiful meadow."
I've heard some people excuse a thankless heart as "being realistic" or "just concerned" or something that sounds justifiable. But when I trust my sovereign God, knowing Him to be at work, there is no room for anxiety, depression, impatience, anger or discontent. My attitude should be nothing less than gratitude for what God has given- ultimately salvation. Forgiveness forever!
I mean, what can thwart God's purpose for my life? Whatever He desires will come to pass. Maybe I
should read up more on what His Word says so I can trust His promises. He never promised an easy life, but He promised peace, love, joy, patience and all that amazing fruit that can pour out of me, as a result of the Holy Spirit controlling my heart and will and emotions.
So, as I contemplate, I start my thankful list. I begin a new one every day because each day challenges me to be upset or grateful in new ways.
It starts in the morning with a prayer. Thanking God for my children. I know my weakness is to get harried with their demands, so I put that spiritual armor on ahead of time. And I choose joy and gratitude. And throughout the day, I continue to set my mind on things above. And when I don't, His forgiveness is free and ready. And believe me, it's a good thing God doesn't keep track! I fail so much, but God has begun a good work in me that He will finish!

Here in the Northwest, the winter months can be rather dismal with all the cold, rain, fog and ice. I am reminded, however that we don't have continual snow like Michigan or Alaska during these months. And it is so nice to have an excuse to be inside the warm house. Working on school, organization projects, or just lazing around with a book. I'm also thankful we have a car and don't have to take the bus or walk to our destination. And that our car actually runs.

When you go down the rabbit trail of praising for all He's given, it's hard to be an Eyeore.

I want this to be a life long habit - the more I am filled with gratitude, the more I can be used by God and the more inspiring example I can be to the girls, and others. Not just a positive mental attitude, a conjuring up of the senses, but a choice to believe that God says Who He says He is. And that he chooses to involve me in a relationship with Him, while all the while letting His will be done here on the earth. Whether it be in the government, my home, church, extended family, etc.

I am overflowing.

It's been a really long while since I've written you, dear reader.

Happy 2013!!!

Don't know about you, but I love to organize. And with the New Year here, I have so many projects in mind, it's all I can do to pick one at a time.

Today I organized all of our files. Not just the company files, but every last one of the personal drawers, too. Whew. And I did it in 1 1/2 hours! Of course, the littlest ones were napping...and I did have a big cinnamon roll to reward myself. (It's all about motivation) But I also get to waltz to our filing cabinets and pull out a single folder without stressing out!

What to tidy up next? Hmm....

There is an awesome organization website I'm addicted too. Organizing Made Fun. Once I started reading, I kept clicking and linking to other things. Before I knew it, I was conjuring up all kinds of ideas on how to structure my home. I am thinking my bed room and the kitchen could use sprucing up! I'm not up for entering a contest (because I don't have time to get it done by the deadline) but I still want to complete the challenges. I'll be working on my kitchen this week.

Since we live in such a small space, I continually purge and organize our home. Bring it on - I've always loved a good challenge! Some family members think we purge a little too much "because what if you need it later in a bigger home?". Honestly, if we live bigger someday, we will never need any of the things we have given away! Believe me, we have many storage containers in our huge garage, many of them containing things we will use in the future. But who wants to sit around and hoard stuff you don't need? The girls actually enjoy giving away their unnecessaries because they know they are giving it to people who need it. Like the local refugees who could use our extra mittens and scarves more than we could.

On another positive note, I have lost weight! I am down 18 pounds from my original weight. I still have 5 (or even better, 10!) pounds to go, but only 5 until I get my huge reward for losing my baby weight plus some. I don't want to mention my reward here (or maybe I have in past posts) until I actually hit the mark.

It is very nice to fit into my old clothes versus looking longingly at them. Mind you, I could fit a little better in them. And there are still some I can't fit into, but it's all a matter of time. I have not gone on a magic diet or started P90X or anything. Just the usual running (my exercise of choice) and Precor, soccer once a week, and controlled eating (including counting calories on my phone). Actually seeing the calories you rack up is a huge motivation because I realize how much I have to work out to lose them. In my case, there's leeway since I'm nursing 4 times a day. But it still works. A side note, I also use our Kinect to work out on those days I just can't get away. Just Dance does amazing things!

The downside is, I have plateaued since Christmas because of all those rich desserts from the holidays: angel thumbprints, caramel sticky buns, date bars. Me, oh my. It is a hard addiction to nip in the bud. To help myself out, I've bought a huge bag of fruit to down instead of sweets. Here is to gaining back ground!

I'm so glad we decided to home school this year again! It has really worked well for our family. We've discovered a new schedule that works great for us:

I get up before the kids (usually around 6:30). This gives me time to drink my tea, read my Bible, do some office works, or clean up leftover dishes. The kids wake up around 7:30 and get dressed. Then we have breakfast at 8. School starts at 9, so before then, they clean up their room and make beds. That's the same time I make my own bed and get dressed myself :) This way, their teacher/ mother doesn't look like a four-eyed something that's crawled out from underneath a rock.

All book work is done by noon. Then, we review Latin, have piano practice or a lesson, and do some kind of art or exercise. Then, my oldest gets to do whatever she would like for about 3 hours! This is the time when the youngest nap and when I organize, complete projects, or use Facebook/have computer time. At 4:30/5:00, we have family clean up time, when we clean the entire house at once! At first, my two-year-old whined about it, but now she loves being part of the effort! It's really cute. Then, I get dinner started while the girls set the table or put dishes away. Then they can play quietly while dinner finishes. Daddy usually comes home late, so it's pleasant when he walks in to a clean home. I also feel much more relaxed in the evening with the house picked up.

Of course, I might have to nurse or tend to my baby somewhere in there, but for the most part, it works! It doesn't always go perfectly, but each of my girls have always done well with a flexible schedule. Also, when my kids know ahead of time what's expected, they get into a rhythm, despite their different personalities.

Okay, bed time looms, but I wanted to say that I'm looking forward to taking before/after photos of my organization projects! Let's hope I can follow through with this. Because truth be told, sometimes Internet (specifically blogging) goes on the back burner when I have to get stuff done.

Nighty night!

I am so glad this world is not our home. I mean, it's our temporary one, but not permanent dwelling place.

This is a comfort,especially after seeing countless dear ones die, and others contract incurable disease and still, others endure suffering. This earth is such a trap for our hearts to chase after wrong goals too - to earn the mighty dollar, to be popular, to acquire more things, to be the perfect family.

My hear aches for so many around me. The longer life I lead, the more I see it, the more I pray and the more I long for heaven.

My daughter, Amelia, would have been four years old this last Monday. I almost can't believe she would be that old. Old enough to talk about Jesus, old enough to run and play with her sisters. Old enough to just love on and grab for a hug and kiss. Oh, to hold her.

But she is in Heaven, surrounded by so much love by the One Who is Love. His love is so incredibly perfect,  so redeeming and eternal, that is leaves me dripping with thankfulness. I think I love my children and my husband, but it in no way is even close to His Love.

Some day we will be with our Savior, Jesus Christ in heaven and we will have our questions answered, or our questions will seem futile in the splendor of His presence. His glorious, amazing presence.

What will it be like to be in heaven? Last night, I couldn't go to sleep, for thinking of what it look like, how I will worship the King of Kings. To think that Creator God loves us so much that He sent His Son to bleed and be darkened, abandoned with our sin upon Him is incredible. Every time I think of it, my mind is blown.

When all the duties of the day have been done, and I am worn out, I ponder this Grace. And somehow, it renews my Spirit, it lifts my weary soul and gives me rest.

I am loved, my daughter in Heaven is loved, I can show my daughters this kind of love because He first loved me!

My Knees Hurt

I've been doing the Jillian Michael's Ripped in 30. Only difference with me is that it's too exhausting to do it 6x/week, so I do it 3x. It will take longer to get in shape but I can't run the risk of running low on breastmilk.

Also, my knees hurt. She does a lot of lunge exercises. I think it has been rough on my knees. I know you have to do lunges properly, but even with good technique they have been hurting. So, I am looking for a new DVD workout. Something with lots of cardio. Thinking of checking out YouTube before anything else! Just so you know, there is a great Malibooty workout on there which works wonders. I've been doing that for a couple weeks. My abs, booty, and thighs are the problem areas!

Since Brilla's birthday party, I've overdosed on baked goods. Time to snap my body to attention with healthier eating!

Speaking of Brilla's birthday, we had such a good time:

Friends, cousins, cupcakes, pinata, what could be more fun?!

The girls and I went to the fair on opening day. It was exhausting but worth it. We got to fish, eat strawberry cones, see the Lego displays, look at the grange agricultural displays, check out the bees, pet farm animals, and see the tractor pull contest.

We are hoping to go back when Daddy has a free day so the girls can do rides!

We are having fun in the sun while it's still here. In fact, that's why we started school late. Here in Western Washington, it doesn't make a lick of sense to start school early and ignore that precious sunshine that starts in mid-July and goes through September, even early October.

Oh my goodness. I've been feeling really overwhelmed lately. My middle girl has been hard to handle lately, or maybe she's just two. Either way, yesterday there were runny noses, lots of demands, lots of whining, and lots of timeouts (amongst other appropriately sanctioned correction).

Whining can be catching, so my oldest has been reverting and whining too. She's mostly grown out of it (or do we ever??) but lately because her younger sister is, she's joining in.

I had a bad allergy myself the other day, which I haven't had in a while, so that landed me pretty hard. Whenever my immune system is low, it starts up. I had run out of multi-vites, was exhausted from working out so hard (thanks a lot Jillian Michaels!), and got to bed late several nights in a row. Combine that with  Allergies always render me useless which itchy eyes, and constantly blowing the runny nose. Really, I just want to sink into a deep sleep and give everyone else 24-hour naps so I can recuperate.

Our Labor Day was super boring. We basically "labored" all day: my husband at the different job sites, and me, at home. Shared this with a friend this week, but when I was little, my dad used to always have chores lined up for us on holidays such as Labor Day. I would complain,"Dad, it's Labor Day!" "Yes,"he would say. "That's why we're doing work. We are laboring!" Ugh. He just didn't get it. And now I do the same thing. Ha!

I am selling my cloth diaper stash, so had to take pictures and post them online, which is pretty tedious work.Then I had to plan Brilla's birthday party and send out invites. Honestly, I would have preferred to be out and about in the sunshine, frolicking with the girlies but these things had to get done! The bathroom needed cleaning. Then the stacked laundry caught my eye. And while I was at it, cleaned up my disaster of a room, too. While doing that, I noticed all my maternity clothing was still in my closet. Cleared that out and into the garage. As I ventured out into the living room, I noticed there was every kind of crumb imaginable on its floor, so had to pick up all the toys/blankets, you name it, up first before I could vacuum.

Meanwhile, my middle daughter was at my heels, begging me for attention. And making the noises that go along with it.

Don't know about you, but when my toddler wants food, she wants it NOW. Does she always get it? No, because usually I'm in the middle of a project, or we just finished breakfast for heaven's sake, or I've bypassed the usual meal hour, or more likely the case, we have boundaries in our home and none of my children can demand food in a nasty way and expect to get it.

Whatever the case, it's stressful having a little human being demanding her way. Especially if other siblings join in because, you know, mom needs a little motivation to get on the ball :)

So I've made a decision. We are having fun today! We will run some errands in the process, but the kids will never know! We may only be out for a little while, since nap time is at 2pm, but a great time will be had.

And to boot, much of my cloth diaper stash is being sold this afternoon *smile*

Please read THIS. It's a reminder of Truth (and Grace).

It seems as soon as I think of something good to write, it takes wings and disappears once I sit down to write.

Oh well.

Compromise - it's usually seen as a bad thing, like "compromising your standards". But the last 8 years of my life I have realized compromise can be a good thing, too. It's the thing that keeps a balanced life. It helps me roll with the punches when something is not, in the grand scheme of things, necessary (though it may be in my mind). The good kind of compromise keeps others' benefit in mind. It doesn't insist upon its own will all the time.

Really, what helps the believer live a well-balanced, compromised life, is the habit of surrender. Surrendering to the Holy Spirit's voice. I hear it, but so often, the noise my own heart or this world shuts it out. Or I've been in the practice so long of doing what I want, I just can't and don't want to. Sometimes when I think something has to be done a certain way, I learn to reevaluate. Listen to the Spirit. He's talking, I just need to listen and surrender.

Compromise or surrender might not seem like a big deal. But it's the little seeds that grow the tree. It's what led us to the church we are at right now. It's what led us to home school. It's vital to our marriage. It's survival in the journey of parenting. It's the unseen glue in friendship.

If only I could compromise, or surrender, best in family relationships. After all, those are the people God has specifically planted in my life. They know me best, they love me best. But they are so close that responding to each other becomes so ordinary, so grey. So hateful and unloving. I really think these are the ones that will shape me. Mold me into Christ-likeness. Surrendering to their needs and not mine will do a world of good. Do I hear the Spirit's voice when I am about to defend myself? Do I hear Him when there is laundry, food to cook, dishes to clean, and I have screaming children? How about when I am angry? Do I just let open the floodgates or do I surrender? Hmm. Loving those who could hurt us the most is hard, but it is also the road to joy.

A Whole New World

Growing up, I LOVED to read. I don't know how this hobby started. I'm convinced it's not completely conjured up by parents, but can just happen. Neither of my parents were avid readers and still are not to this day. My youngest brother started reading at age 2 and adores piles of books, but the middle brother, didn't pick up a single one - yet he's a mechanical engineer major, currently helping write calculus books. Go figure.

Do you remember some of these reads?

• Mandie books
• Encyclopedia Brown
• Babysitters Club
• Sweet Valley Twins
• Trixie Beldin
• Dana Sisters

I remember an instance where I was longing for several books in our school's book fair catalog. Someone had recently given me the Anne of Green Gables series. My mom told me I needed to finish the first book before buying anything new. It looked so thick and boring! Such disappointment! I have both a stubborn and determined nature. What did I do? Threw the Anne book away and close to promised I'd never open it again. But my determined nature got the best of me and I picked that book back out of the trash can and finished it by the end of the week. Two things happened: I got to order new reads, and found a new love for Miss Anne Shirley! Ended up not reading those other books for a couple months because of a fictional plot taking place on Prince Edward Island. To this day, I am smitten with the Anne books. I look forward to reading them with my daughters.

I have caught the bug again. It doesn't usually hit until about mid-October, when Fall starts reappearing. I am into books like fleas on fruit (and that's a very real simile right now). Since finishing Lies Women Believe by DeMoss, I have started The Pursuit of God by Tozer. It's the Christian classic that all have read except for me. It has been on my shelf for ages and am just now diving in. So impacting. Kind of like C.S. Lewis, in that I have to pause in between paragraphs to fully grasp the message. I admire writing like that, but more importantly, I am impacted by the content. Just finished chapter two, The Blessedness of Possessing Nothing, and feel that it should have gone on and on. Succinct, yet it often takes years to apply. Doesn't have to take years, I remind myself.

Another current read of mine is a secular novel, How to Eat a Cupcake. It first appears as quick, shallow fiction, and there are a couple spots to skip over here and there. But for the most part, it is about two friends who have a bitter past, coming together again. Meg Donahue gives the characters depth and keeps the reader intrigued. Who doesn't like a book with 'cupcake' in the title?

Here are some books I'm looking forward to...

Our library system is amazing. It has almost every book out there. You are able to put any book or video on hold and have it transferred to the nearest branch. And you can renew the item twice. Unless I need a home school guide, devotional or cook book, or something for months on end, why buy?

This year (like last year), we entered the reading club. Well, it's really hard to record the minutes we read because they are so haphazard. We don't have scheduled reading time in the summer. Maybe during the school season, but there's no reading club then. I have decided we aren't doing the reading club again until the girls are old enough to track their own minutes and read on their own. It's too much hassle and makes it a chore!

My middle girl is in love with the library! She now knows how to be quiet/ the consequence of not doing it. She lights up like a firefly when we arrive! She gets so excited and always gravitates to the Peter Rabbit books first. Then she meanders to the board books. She even likes the ones without pictures, which she "pretend-reads". Love this age.

I am convinced that introducing books to your children opens up a whole new world.