It's Been Forever!

Did you miss me?

My last post was close to before Amelia's birthday. We had a wonderful day/weekend remembering her. I cannot explain the utter peace and rejoicing in my heart I felt during that time. It was honestly a happy occasion, not coated in sorrow as the last two years.

I received the sweetest card from a close friend letting me know her prayers and thoughts were with me on that day. You can't believe how much that meant! My husband was very sick then, so just the girls and I went to church on Sunday. I was tempted not to go...but you know, it's amazing how God works, because the sermon was EXACTLY what I needed to hear. It was about Heaven and all the amazing things we have to look forward to. Laster, we went to the cemetery with a dozen roses, sang a hymn, and said a prayer. It was beautiful. Once again, we saw Mt. Ranier from her spot, clear as anything. Thank you, Lord, for gorgeous weather.

It's kind of a strange feeling. Like Amelia went to be with Jesus so long ago. It's only been two years. Yet, other times, when I walk down memory lane, the feelings are fresh as if they just happened.

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Today was a sunny, crisp Fall day. I didn't have any students, so a walk seemed perfect. I wrapped K in the Moby, B packed her babies in the wagon and we headed down the street to the playground. If I had been all by myself, I would have taken a lot longer stroll, but I could tell my tired-out daughter wasn't ready for a 2-mile walk. Once we got to the playground, B wasn't the least bit interested in playing....she wanted to study states (the school has a US map on their playground)!! Seriously, my kindergartner, spent 20 min asking me all the states, just soaking in all the different names, where they were, which relatives lived where, and what was popular in each one.

But this is my girl! She is a thinker. I have a feeling she's going to be quite intellectual when she grows up. At home, she never wants to watch TV, only home videos. I'm usually the one who asks if she wants to watch something. And if she does, she lasts about 5 minutes before she has a project in mind. She loves to help. In fact, I had her mopping the floor the other day! She was totally focused. Spent 30 minutes on it, without a peep. And when I cook in the kitchen, she is at my side with a stool. I want to hang on to these moments! Truth is, she's a huge help. Especially with K. Dashing here and there to get me things. She even wants to start changing diapers. I'm giving that one some thought yet :) Her favorite things are to sing to and play with Katie. And she kisses her sister all the time. Seriously. At her bday party, in between each gift, she had to go and kiss Katie. Hilarious! She also loves school. Especially Math. She's rather do Math and Art than Handwriting any day.

I probably sound like the annoying Mom boasting with pride. Believe me, we definitely butt heads, and I mean, we have some major clashes (we're two of a kind -wonder who planned that?!). We are both learning character and that is healthy. But I'm just so thankful for who my daughter is growing to become! And I also love her just because she's mine :)

As for Katie, she's 6 months if you can believe it. She's already starting to sit up long periods all by herself. Her other new thing is holding on to her toes during diaper change time. My heart just melts at her beautiful smile. And my youngest is a chubby one!! I will be sad when she thins out! She has blue eyes (still) and very auburnish hair. I'm still holding out for red! No teeth or sign of crawling yet. Really, I don't mind. We are going to start real food here pretty soon though. Katie, as opposed to Brilla, loves the TV and computer. This girl is glued. She lives in her exersaucer, on her tummy and sitting up on the couch.

Did I ever share that I'm currently addicted to cloth diapering? I am. I don't really know how it happened, but all of a sudden, I watch ebay and craiglist for cute dipes. I now know words like organic bamboo velour, snappiable, and soaker. Most of my extra money goes to cute cloth coverings for my daughter's behind! I know, it's crazy. But true. And very, very cute!!

Next post I will have to delve further into the topic and even post some pics of my stylin' diapers. Woohoo!

Heavy Heart

My heart's heavy tonight. I just found out about a couple splitting up because the husband was having an affair. I'm so sad and my heart aches for their children. How do you tell a child Daddy doesn't love Mommy anymore? Although I know God hates divorce, He never intended it...God hates unfaithfulness and he doesn't intent it either. Life is so broken.

Someday Brilla is going to want some answers on why this happens. While growing up, I underwent the fear of my parents getting divorced. Thank God, however, they have stayed together for 30 years, especially when all odds were against them. Fortunately, my husband's parents, when he was younger, promised and assured he and his siblings that they were not getting a divorce and would always be married. A promise which they have kept to this day. Do you know how reassuring that is to a child growing up in a world full of unbroken promises?

My husband and I have made the same promise to our daughter. By God's grace, not our own strength, we'll stick together through this life's ups and downs.

Hum-De-Dum...An Update

Right now, I'm listening to the laundry dry. One of the most pleasant sounds ever. It means I will have clean clothes to wear tomorrow, and also...it means there has been productivity today. Mike and I are relaxing on the couch, enjoying the TV and computer. Of course, the girls have been put to the bed. Ah. The ideal end to a Sunday before the busy week begins.

The girls have been sick these last few days. I think sleep, good food and water have been the key to nurse them back to health...and time. Colds just have to bide their time. Hopefully Brilla will get past it soon! It has made her an Oscar-the-Grouch! I feel like I have been on her like socks! Did anyone call this the Terrible Threes/Fours? Because this is my reality. By God's grace and through prayer, I'm getting through it. But goodness gracious, is it ever taxing. I think I need to review Dobson's The Strong Willed Child.

We have been loving the weather here in the Pacific Northwest! Last week was VERY hot. And the weekend cooled off a bit. I was able to head up to North Seattle and buy some CUTE cloth diapers off craigslist. They are Preston's Pants and Pot Bellied Pig Designs diapers. The PP is an All-in-one, and the PBPDs are minkys. For only $38! If you're into cloth diapering, you'll recognize that as a steal :) I have discovered that I love the snap diapers. I have some BumGenius that velcro and I like them too, but I think snaps are my favorites.

My nieces and nephews spent the night last night. Yep, five kids for the weekend! It truly was fun. We even got to church on time this morning! We've only done this once before (last year) and it was definitely time to do it again. We wanted to have them over more this summer, but between having Katie and remodeling our home, it just didn't happen. So after church, we all went to Costco for lunch, then home for beloved nap time!! Then we walked to the park and played, played, played. Then came home for another meal, ending the night with ice cream at McDonald's. They had a blast. Even in our small home (their home is huge) :) And really, it's not what you do, where you do it, but who you're with...and we were in great company.

It is refreshing to look forward to church every week. Not that we didn't at our old one, but we're just glad that we found a new church we love so much. The people are wonderful, so caring, but what Mike and I really soak up is the teaching. The digging deep kind of expository preaching. In Sunday School, we are currently studying Escotology, Revelation. Our pastor is pre-millineum, which we are as well. There are some in the congregation who are a-mil, even post-mil, which mixes it up a bit. But he encourages questions and promotes unity despite these non-core differences in where we stand. Today's message was quite sobering, getting us to think on what makes up a true disciple. Honestly, it was assuring to me. I might not be a perfect Christian (are there any? LOL), but I am persevering on the Road. I love what he said today. "For the true believer, there is no other option besides Christ." The message, on the flip-side was also sobering for those who are false-disciples. A challenge to evaluate our spiritual life....is it genuine or fake?

There were a whole slew of other thoughts but they would take up a few pages :)

I cannot believe Fall is almost here, wherein lies the rebirth of all things scheduled. Piano lessons, Bible Study, Swimming/Ballet lessons, church activities, and Homeschooling. The last one is the biggie. I'm not totally ready yet. Thank goodness I only have one to school. Poor Brilla; she will be the experiment. Good thing she is resilient. But I really am anticipating this adventure!

My brother is back in Florida. I already miss him, but at least I got to spend a good chunk of time while he was here. That road trip will hold memories. Now my youngest bro Sean is home. We are hoping to get a boat trip in. Perhaps a cruise on Lake Washington is in order :)

As I look at the clock, it has ticked to 11:46. My husband has just crawled into bed, and I had better do so as well. Nighty, night. This wasn't much of an update, but it was all I could muster this late Sunday evening.

See you again on the pages of the blog-sphere another time soon!

A Little Prayer

Saying a prayer for the Wood Family...

Dear Lord,

Please be with my hurting friends. They are in need of deep compassion and love and strength. Holy Spirit, be their Comforter. Equip them with your power, even in the midst of tragedy. May the Evil One not be allowed to touch their minds with regret, guilt, depression, anger or bitterness. But may they trade it in for joy, peace, love and faith. As they need comfort, may they find it in Your promises. You said that if we wait on You, You will strengthen our heart. Lord, you are continually with us. You never leave us. You guide us with your very right hand.

May Rachel's life be a testimony to all, both those who know You and those who don't. May they realize their days are numbered. God could call any one of us at any time. He doesn't like death, but it comes with the whole package of sin and a broken relationship with the Creator. God, redeem others through Rachel's death. May her death bring Your testimony of Life to others. We thank you that Rachel loved you, Jesus. She loved you so much, she was willing to go on a missions trip to care for orphans and shine Your light. Thank you that she got to touch those lives in Your name before You called her. Thank you, Lord, that Rachel never saw death. She only suffered for a little while. But then the light came and she now is rejoicing! She is at your feet worshiping You. We are a bit jealous because she is in Your presence now, enveloped in Your glory. Oh, that we would be patient until it's our turn.

I pray for Mr. and Mrs. Wood. It's so hard to lose a child, your own flesh and blood, whose life has been shortened. You can relate, Father. You gave your only Son. He died on the cross and You had to abandon Him to human death in order that all might be fulfilled. You had to watch Him suffer. The temptation is for Norma and Roy is to wish they could have protected her, taken her suffering, prevented the pain. But God, You were with her, and that is sufficient. You took her from her temporary shell and have given her a beautiful, new body. The same power that raised Christ from the dead dwells in Rachel, and also dwells in all believers.

I pray for Julie. Oh, so hard to take this burden as the oldest, first-born daughter! I don't like my dear friend to suffer so much pain and heartache. I wish I could bear it for her. There is such a burden, a feeling that you must be strong for the rest of the siblings. But God, help her to grieve in the way that she needs, to get it all out. Pick up the broken pieces of her heart and gently bind them, however long it takes. May she come to know You in a deeper way because of her sister's death. The death of a loved one, though unwanted at the time, results in a greater understanding and knowledge of pain and suffering in this world. You knew Julie would have to experience this God. Be her Rock, her Anchor amidst this terrible flood.

Please comfort the entire Wood family. Bring them to places of quietness and peace, places where they can reflect on death, eternity, life, pain and then...Lord, may You eventually bring them to the place of joy. May they experience laughter again. But please help them to know it's okay to go from sorrow to tears and back again.

In Your Name,

Amen

The Loss of A Dear Sister

I am so saddened by the recent news that my best friend, Julie, has lost her younger sister, Rachel. She went home to be with Jesus last Wednesday, after drowning in a terrible accident. She was only 23 and had just recently come back from a missions trip to Mexico.

Even though she's not a part of my family, she is a part of the family of Christ, and a dear sister to my very close friend. The day I found out (which was 2 days later than when she actually left us because I was on vacation and didn't see the posts on facebook) I sobbed and sobbed. I am still in shock that she is gone. She was such a sweet, quiet, but strong girl. She loved Jesus, loved her family. I am incredibly heartbroken.

Seems she and her younger siblings were swimming in Horshoe Lake, when their legs got tangled up in milfoil. Here is the story and videos: http://www.kxly.com/news/24519439/detail.html & http://www.krem.com/news/local/Milfoil-may-have-tangled-swimmer-who-drowned-in-Horseshoe-Lake--100079989.html

It doesn't seem fair that that is the end of her life. Period. I wish there was a different ending to the whole story. But there isn't, and God is not surprised by her death. In fact, she is having an incredibly much better life in heaven with her Savior! She is in the presence of Almighty God, surrounded imminently by His love and His glory. At times, I wish I could be there, too. I wish I could see what all our loved ones who've gone before are doing up there.

Really, the sadness isn't that she's in Heaven, it's that she's not with is here on earth. We are finite beings and our hearts are so heavy beyond expression when a loved one goes before us. It's hard to see the eternal perspective, the reason why she had to go. One day all of our questions will be answered.

As for me, I can go on with my life. Laugh with my husband and children, and sleep well at night. But as for my dear friend Julie and her family, they will not sleep well. They will wake up in the middle of the night, remembering their sweet Rachel is gone. And they will weep. Wishing they could say good-bye a last time, replaying her last minutes in their minds, wishing they could have saved her, wishing to see her smile again. Having to pack her things, find a casket and do all those terrible, necessary details that no one should have to do when faced with utter heartbreak.

Please pray for the Wood family. They have been celebrating Rachel's life because she is not dead, but alive. Still, they are only human and will need the comforting, incessant prayers of fellow believers.

Rachel, you are truly loved and missed! No one ever thought you would go this soon. We will see you on That Shore someday soon!

Yay!!!!!

Our house is almost back to normal! I am in love with our "new" little home. It looks beautiful and I'm so thankful for the work all the guys have done. There has been a lull in work for the company (lull as in tons of projects coming up, just not any scheduled right now), so the timing with that AND the weather have been perfect. I am now sitting on the floor with my head against the couch looking at the newly painted living room, complete with a rich-coloured mantel headpiece. Wow, what a drastic change. I will post photos soon! I cannot wait to invite my girl friends over for tea and treats :)

Lots has been going on. Mostly just the remodeling, trying to keep the girls on somewhat of a schedule amidst being here and there to stay out of the way, and having summer fun at various spots around town. This gorgeous weather has been a godsend. I mean, better soak it up because it could be Fall next week! We're talking the Pacific Northwest here. I've enjoyed wearing shorts and tanks for a change. Of course, I've enjoyed taking out Katie's little cutesie outfits, too. Her little dimpled legs are to die for. I was looking for her swimsuit the other day and found it with the "cover up" someone gave as a shower gift. It's the most darling thing. I got a chuckle out of that one, though! Like what's she gonna cover up??

I've been watering my flowers lately. I know, that hould be a big given, but you have to understand, I am soooooo bad at watering. My husband keeps getting on me about it. I mean, for Pete's sake, all I've got are petunias, impatiens and geraniums. Some day I hope to have a whole garden full of both flowers AND vegetables/fruit.

:::Sigh::: Some day.

This last week I've done a lot of cleaning my house up (woohoo). Trying to normalize the mess amidst the piles. I felt triumphant this week just vacuuming and doing the dishes. If this sounds real exciting to you, just wait until I get to the good part.

I've also gone on a clothes shopping hiatus. You heard me right. I'm a shop-a-holic. I admit it. If you've ever watched Confessions of a Shop-a-holic, I am so the main character. I feel that thrill of being on the hunt and buying a cute something. And when I get tired of shopping for one thing, I focus on my attention on something else I might need. The only difference is - I don't spend near the amount of moolah for single items as she does, nor am I addicted to shopping at storefronts for high end labels. But, that doesn't matter! It's still an addiction and I'm trying to crack it. Because shopping, then getting rid of stuff (or even donating), shopping then getting rid of stuff, the unending cycle, is a huge waste. Perhaps soon I may even do a one-month challenge of no shopping. Hum. I'll think about that one, long and hard. Any one want to join me?

Don't know about you, but I'm missing Fall/Winter TV episodes, like The Good Wife, The Mentalist, Castle. I've been appeasing myself with reruns and Law and Order.

Welp, I'd better go to bed now or else I'm bound to rattle on and on about absolutely nothing. Either that, or everything random in my life. I'm that tired.

Good night.

Lots Going On

My house is a wreck. Except for the nice little spots where I've been able to make it look semi-clean so I can pretend all is normal :)

We got our new windows! They are beautiful and wonderful. Nothing like being able to air out my house with nice screens - no bugs flying in and out saying, "Thank you!" Though I love these new windows, I did not realize how much work it was going to take; and what a toll is would take on our schedules (as in my kids' schedules!). But I am SO THANKFUL for the work being done. It has been a long time in coming. Muchly needed.

We must have been bitten by the remodeling bug, because not only are we replacing the windows, but we're also - adding new trim, inside AND out; replacing drywall after having found dry rot; installing new front door; took down the faux wood paneling on our living room wall to be replaced by a regular, newly painted wall and new fireplace mounting!; painting rooms with fresh color. And in the midst of all this, we're installing a new dishwasher. It was supposed to be a quick job (the dishwasher), but complications have turned it into a 3-day chore! Thirdly, my husband is going to the county this week to see if he can get the our addition plan okayed. We're hoping to add on to the back of our house this summer as well.

Whew!

I mentioned the kids' schedules...

We've had to be out of the house quite a few days because the girls can't nap or be around the busyness of tools and dust. My mother-in-law has been so gracious in letting us nap and hang at her house. In fact, as I'm sitting here writing this, my husband has just informed me that us girls need to be out of the house by 7am tomorrow!! I feel like a homeless urchin! I'm just being dramatic. Of course we have plenty of places to go.

Tonight I had a most relaxing deep tissue massage. So much so, I fell sleep during my session. Massages always do that to me. They are so cathartic, especially after a long day of running around. It's a good thing I had that hour or relaxation because I came home to a squawking baby. Daddy was unable to feed her milk via the bottle because the nipple was too big. Thus, I came home to a poor little baby girl with huge tears and a sweating Daddy. Mama to the rescue once again.

Dinner was healthy and yummy tonight. Grilled cod with organic green beans and brown rice. I could eat seafood every day and not tire of it. We had plenty of rice left, so looks like fried rice tomorrow.

I have lost 5 lbs in the last 3 weeks. Not bad, but not meeting my goal, either. I was going for 2 lbs/week. But I have to be realistic. Losing weight while nursing is extremely difficult. I just need to exercise every day and continue to count my calories (enough as a nursing mom). I'm also making sure they count. My personal motto has been "fuel it, don't fill it". I've been eating a ton of yogurt, hummus, eggs, fish, high fiber cereal, peanut butter, Kashi GoLean granola bars, Odwalla smoothies, string cheese, almonds, walnuts, all kinds of fruit, and every kind of low fat, high protein, high fiber food I can think of. For dessert, I allow myself a 1/2 cup of ice cream, chocolate-covered almonds, pb toast with honey/jam, yogurt with berries, or a Yoplait smoothie. Last night I made a huge mistake of having a McD's hot fudge sundae. It's 320 calories. I assumed since the reduced-fat vanilla cone was only 150 calories, that the sundae wouldn't be much more. Wrong! The fudge brings mucho calories to the table.

Did I mention my husband and I are competing? We are seeing who can lose the most percentage of weight by our anniversary, August 28th. I'm so proud of him. He's lost a good amount already. He's a Coke guy, and he's had only a couple drinks of soda since we started this thing (almost done with week 4!). He's not even touched baked goods (except for July 4th). Baked stuff is our weakness, but we've not touched any.

I've had such a busy time lately caring for my girls, juggling our whereabouts. However, I've still been able to spend time in Our Daily Bread for my devotions. I didn't continue Believing God, but instead, have delved deep into the audio version of So Long Insecurity by Beth Moore. It has been an eye-opening journey. God's revealed so much to me I didn't realize before. Praise God that he doesn't leave us in our comfort zone, but conforms us constantly to His image. We just have to willing vessels!