Just As I Am

Big Chubby News

2012-01-31T18:00:00.001-08:00

She is here! Reese Emily has arrived. She was born 8lbs 2oz, 21 1/2 inches long. What a big girl, what an intense but quick labor! We are blessed!

Soon I will give the birth story because I want to record details before I forget them. I do this mostly for myself since this blog is like my journal.

Meanwhile, family has the girls while I am caring for Reese and catching a few winks. Oh, and also straightening up this house...something I won't be able to stay on top of once the girls come back.

Meanwhile, my heart is bursting with happiness and thanks at our third-born daughter. Her cheeks are chubby; she even has a double chin! But the rest of her body is skinny, just like a newborn. Her hair is dark brown and her eyes are dark blue. Right now she is wearing one of the many crocheted hats I have made for her, swaddled in a blanket and lying on the couch - sleeping.

Ah. This newborn stage is delightful.

Did I mention how much I love baby Reese Emily? I just do!!

AMAZED

2012-01-26T15:55:00.000-08:00

Wow. Every time I feel like I can't last another day with Baby Girl in my belly, I somehow do. I wake up, spend time with God, feed the girls breakfast, clean up, feed snacks, do school, feed lunch, youngest has a nap while I catch up on school and chores, prep dinner, maybe do a little crochet, eat dinner, kids to bed, relax with hubby, then go to bed. Next morning, time to do it all over again!

I am AMAZED. That though I think I can't do it, God helps me get through. I am amazed at His grace not just in this area (I mean what Mom doesn't go through the same), but grace in changing my attitude. Though my body feels sore and weak, my heart and spirit don't. He rejuvenates me with His mercies. It is exhausting to do housework. But it is never tiresome to open His Word and drink. I feel like the more my spirit hungers and is satisfied in Him, the less all the other stuff seems important.

I love the quote I heard today (paraphrased) "We often focus on what God wants us to do for Him, not who He wants us to be." Do I emit the fruit of the Spirit? Do I have less joy and peace than my unbelieving neighbors? Not just to the depth of the smile, but do they see Christ in my life? Is there a difference?

I used to dislike when speakers would ask the probing questions after their dialogue. Now I look forward to the challenging queries. They help me do what God says, not just hear. Yes, I love hearing the sermons and lectures, but I love actually getting into action, though it often catches me off guard because I immediately experience a challenge in the form of my own sinful nature. It's hard to change who we used to be.

But honestly? I look back at who I was 10 years ago, and I see change. I see less insecurity, less legalism and more of desiring God Himself. I'm sure having kids and going through trials has honed home some of that. But the work is all from His Spirit. None from me. I could never naturally just change when I want to.

The exciting thing is, He's not finished. There is more of me to change. It doesn't end until I join Jesus in heaven. "And I am sure of this, that He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ." Phil. 1:6

And what's even more awesome, is that when Christ returns and takes us home, we will be like Him. I don't know what that all entails. But it will be beyond awesome. "But our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly body to be like His glorious body, by the power that enables Him even to subject all things to Himself." Phil 3:21

2012-01-23T18:25:00.000-08:00

Tonight is girls night IN. My two girls and I hang out, doing whatever fancies our whimsy. For Katie, it is taking every doggone item out of the sticker folder, piano prize box, and relocating said items to different areas of our home. For Brilla, it is practicing her piano. I saw her working on her homework earlier. Now I glance over to see her counting with head bobs and having perfect posture as she sits. (Do you sense a bit of mommy/teacher pride here?) I am pleased, because I did not ask her to do this, yet there she is, actually enjoying her piano time!

As for me, I choose to post quickly before bath time.

Our weekend seemed to last forever. As seen in earlier posts, it snowed up here. With Western Washington snow, however, comes the melting of snow, then refreezing, then more snow. It really is glorious until the grand finale: toppling trees and branches, no electricity in our homes, and the need to escape to a warm place. I

My in-laws were the welcoming escape. They are a bit south and experienced only a slight loss of power, which was quickly mended by the warm wood-burning stove. Which was even better mended by the power coming on 4 hours later. My sweet mother-in-law quickly greeted us with fresh-out-of-the-oven chocolate oatmeal butterscotch cookies and a hug. The perfect medicine for chilled bones! They let us share two and a half days with them. Did I mention the cousins and auntie showed up as well since their power went out? It was like a family reunion :)

Meanwhile, it was film time. We watched Ratatouille, Toy Story 3, Monsters Inc, Cars 2, Beauty & the Beast, to name a few. Grandpa Dick made a huge pot of stew for the second night of dinner. As I took in the full table and busyness, I was given a glimpse of what it would be like to live with 12 people altogether in one house.

It was a very fun mini-vacation, but might I confess, it was good to be back in our small home, with heat on, Sunday evening. Never thought I'd enjoy washing dishes and laundry as I did then.

There is still a frozen layer around us, but it is thin. And, I wouldn't mind another snow, except I would love for our electricity to stay on. And to be able to drive out of our cul-de-sac. I will just be content with a beautiful snow having passed and getting back into the rainy winter as usual.

And work on this Baby coming out! Here is hoping we see her precious face soon.

Can't Believe I Actually Want Rain

2012-01-20T08:08:00.000-08:00

It is STILL snowy and icy out there!

I thought all this white stuff would be gone by Wednesday evening, but here we are, Friday morning. It has not snowed more, but it hasn't rained, either. I am wondering if I have the gumption to shovel out snow from our car, driveway, and cul-de-sac just to get to my chiropractic appointment. Those appointment are pretty important to me in the late stages of pregnancy. In fact, I don't remember a more back pain-free pregnancy than this one. It works!

As I sit here typing, I hear trees and branches crackling all around me. I take a quick peek out the window and realize two trees have already come down. We live in a heavily wooded area. All that heavy ice is bringing down those weak giants. Our front yard is also a menagerie of fallen limbs. I'm just hoping nothing falls on my car; what terrible timing that would be :(

Thankfully, I don't need to be anywhere, except at my midwife's if Baby comes. But my body tells me that is not happening soon.

Yesterday, my girls and Daddy got more snow time in. That Katie loves sledding. I still am amazed at hearty my 21-month old. She's the one who will fling herself at Daddy's lap for a "tackle". He taught her that, of course. A good 'ol football move. Lovely. She'll also run down the hallway and hurl herself into a pile of pillows. But even when she misses the pillows, she shakes it off and says "Owa?" for a small kiss, going right back to her attempts at crashing the cushions.

I got out for a good walk, too. It felt good to get fresh air, to get my muscles working together, even if it was to produce an unlovely waddle up the road and back. I then was content to get home, heat up some chai, read and get dinner started.

This morning, I awoke at 5:45 and could not fall back asleep. My nap earlier in the day probably caught up with me. Here it is, nearly 8:30 and I can hear the girls rising like little chipmunks.

Good morning!

Her Name

2012-01-18T18:03:00.000-08:00

It is important for Michael and I to pick just the right name for each of our children. I'm sure you feel the same way. It takes us about 8 months to come up with "the one". They'll carry it for the rest of their lives. (Unless, in this day and age, they want to change it!)

We've finally decided on Reese Emily. Reese means "Radiant" and Emily after Mike's grandmother, who passed away several years ago.

And to commence the choice of her beautiful name, the wall letters I created for her room are finally done!

They match perfectly with her bedding. As you can see, we have a black/red/white theme going on. I'm a red-lover. Really could just do her whole room in that shade, but alas, our other two's room has red, and our bathroom is black/white/red. All in moderation, right?

I must tell you, I had a blast creating these letters from stuff around the house (as stated in my earlier post). The chalkboards were done with a little white acrylic satin paint (Martha Stewart), the chalkboards obviously were painted on, the letters were done with *surprise* chalk, the ribbon was on clearance at Michael's, and the rings are old shower curtain rings. Too cheap to hang a curtain on, but perfect for holding wall letters :)

Finishing this project was hugely important to me. Felt like the room wasn't complete without them! Now I'm just adding final touches on the walls, creating storage, and waiting for Reese to make her appearance.

Today, along with playing in the snow, I packed all our bags. Mine was the last to get done. Lavender lotion and neck pillow, check. Nursing tank, check. Warm and fuzzy socks, check. Baby can officially come now.

I am nesting like a crazy woman. Washed the windows, mopped the floor, dusted, re-decorated after putting away Christmas stuff, and re-organized the girls' room, trying to be creative with storage, grocery shopped and meal-planned. Crochet has also been calling my name. Have about 3 cute new hats done and 3 diaper covers. This poor girl's is gonna be smothered.

I've also been reading the Word so much lately. Digging deep, more than normal; just can't get enough. I'm also still finishing the audio book, Forgotten God by Francis Chan. I am seeing so many areas I fall short in, so much I need to work on, of course through the Spirit's power. But I also look back and see how far I've come. By God's grace. Jesus is incredibly patient and faithful to complete His work in me.

SNOW!!

2012-01-18T08:28:00.000-08:00

It's snowing up here in the south Seattle area! Woohoo! We are pumped. This will probably be our only day of snow, so we're making the best of it.

See my happy girls? They are itching to get out there!

Some pics of the sledding adventure. Katie was great! No whining whatsoever (except when it was time to go in).

Up Early

2012-01-16T05:29:00.001-08:00

Baby is kicking in the wee hours this morning. I just can't get back to sleep. I had a good prayer time, I've tried counting sheep. I've been up since 4:30 and decided to make hay and post.

Just bought chalkboard paint this week. I'm making my sweet Girl's letters for her wall. At minimum, it costs $30 for inexpensive letters at Bed, Bath and Beyond. So, I decided to get creative.

I have these real cheap framed mirrors (5 of them to be exact) from the local craft store I've been unable to use for about 3 plus years. Always stopped/started using them for an art project, but they just always seemed tacky and useless. I should have posted a before photo to show their ruggedness, but I think of those things too late.

They seemed perfect for the letter project though. I painted the frames with satin acrylic multi-purpose paint. I still didn't like the mirrored look (why did I buy them then?), so decided to cover them with chalkboard paint! Yes, you can paint glass with it. You usually have to roughen up the glass before painting, but I cheated and used the back side of the mirrors instead, which already had some kind of coating.

At this point, I was in the rhythm of things. My favorite projects are the ones that come from materials I already have.

Using some cheap chalk, decorative ribbon, a hot glue gun and old shower curtain rings, I finished off the cute, red/black/white letters.

I am excited that these little chalkboards cost me about $1 each, and the rest was stuff I had stowed away. The only expensive thing was the chalkboard paint, running at $14.97 a can. However, there is a ton left I can use on other blossoming ideas. We may have little framed chalkboards all over the house now, ha!

Now, I'm feeling a bit sleepy-eyed and will try to get more "Zzzzs".

Oh, and I promise to post a pic of the letters after they are hung on the wall!

2012-01-04T18:35:00.000-08:00

This week is meandering by, taking it's time. It may have to do with the rain, I don't know. Perhaps since Mike has gone back to work, being with both girls all day makes everything go in slow motion. Nap times I relish. Bedtime I relish. Yes, I love my children...and I also love my breaks from them so I can love them more :)

Today we started up Bible study again after a nice vacation. It was a deep and convicting study on faith. Hebrews 11-13. Hebrews is the book that often leaves my mind boggled. But the Holy Spirit is opening my understanding and I've found many gems. Never can read God's Word too many times and get something new or realize I still know too little!

On Monday night, my husband played ultimate Frisbee in the muddy sludge. He paid for it alright. Came home with a pulled muscle and torn skin off the back of his heel. I was glad he got out to get exercise since basketball is on hold and I say it is great any time he can get out to be healthy and hang with the guys (he doesn't get to very often with work). But, I wasn't coveting being out there in the rain!

I have no exercise regimen right now. Being 36 weeks along really leaves any kind of house work and childcare as my workout. I used to have a membership at the local gym, but it got to be a hassle because I like to workout early, which meant bringing the kids, which meant they always got sick from the play area. Then we spent a couple weeks recuperating since they can't attend BSF or church with colds. Not worth it. So...I take every chance I get these days: If M needs to run an errand, I'll run it for him. When I grocery shop, I go alone and step up my pace. When shopping at the mall, I do a couple laps first before browsing. Even filling/emptying the dishwasher, making the bed and cleaning the bathroom has me heating up these days! Ha.

When our gorgeous weather comes back, then I can take walks again! The girls and I love those walks outdoors. B is old enough to tramp alongside and K is content in the stroller. I'm considering buying a double stroller to run a little after Babe comes.

I finally gave my students notice that I will no longer be teaching piano after our third arrives. It was a tough decision, since I have been teaching for 13 years. Part of me was saying, "Ohhh, you can do it." And the other part of me (common sense) was saying,"You need to devote time to the business and homeschooling your daughter. A little less money won't do you any harm." Well, maybe it wasn't just the voice of common sense, but also of the Lord, because I've been praying about this decision for some time. If any of you know me, you know I'm a go-getter. I like to be busy and I like a challenge. The Lord showed me there was nothing wrong with prioritizing and taking a break (which is not really taking a break, seeing we are adding another kid to the mix) to focus on the things He's called me to. And family is an investment.

Another big reason was - our home is small. I think I've shared that it's 980 sq ft. That means our entire living space is just that, our living space. There is no private area, no separate studio. No place to have the kiddos run around/play while I teach. I can't expect the kids to be quiet, locked away in tiny room for 3 hrs AND be quiet for teaching AND be quiet while an infant sleeps.

The encouraging word is, I may teach again some day! Especially if and when we build a bigger home, which is what my husband does for a living. Just not right now.

It's refreshing to walk where the Holy Spirit leads you. What He asks may not look like what every other believer is doing. I think we (I) get discouraged when I look around and what God is doing in another's life seems more exciting, visible, or noble. We forget though that each of us has to fully surrender to His plans, His ways, His will for His Spirit to work effectively through us! It's often a hard road, lots of sacrifice of what we want, but He promises blessing and God always keeps His promises. Amen!

On another note...

My eldest and her daddy are at church for AWANA, while the youngest and I hang out. I am enjoying watching her be totally thrilled with a kitchen drawer I pulled out, full of gadgets. She is utterly content. She doesn't get alone time with Mama very often, and this is one of those rare evenings. It will probably get even less after her little sis comes on the scene. Oh, what she has in store! *chuckle*

Still haven't taken down that Christmas decor! Hm, perhaps that's my next workout. Have a great rest of your Wednesday!

Yesterday's Post

2012-01-03T18:40:00.000-08:00

Right now, Baby is moving up and down and all around. In my ribs, then squishing my bladder, then doing some kind of repetitive kicking motion, which doesn't she realize is very uncomfortable when I'm trying to sit at the computer?

Ho, hum.

Did you know right now is a GREAT time to buy organization containers/baskets? I went to Michael's today; lo and behold, they have a much better selection than Target. Most were 50% off. I got three for the kids' closet. Very cute! And looks so much better than things just stacked on the shelves. Remember how I mentioned I wanted to buy a bookcase for the girls' reads? Well, I was able to clear out items from the nursery closet and place then in a fabric storage container. There is room in the closet for each and every book! Glad we don't have to install another piece of furniture on the walls.

I am still unsure of how I want to finish decorating the nursery. More on that when I'm finally done.

I'm currently reading The Rose Trilogy, by Beverly Lewis. I'm on Book 2 in the series. Mrs. Lewis is an amazing author. I can hardly put her stories down. Mike and I are also watching the John Adams movie that was featured on HBO, based on the David McCullough novel. It is beyond excellent. It's not for entertainment; in fact, it's the opposite. It's tense, at times depressing, deeply intriguing, but at the same time, inspirational. It conjures up a sense of patriotism, again making me realize how much sacrifice was put into our country's freedom. Oh, that we wouldn't take it for granted! God was gracious to equip our founding fathers and early leaders of our country with wisdom, strength and resolve.

And I'm working on a crocheted hat for my niece's birthday. It's using Loops & Threads (Michael's brand) Cozy Wool yarn. It's a chunky hat, with a flowers on the side. The hat is a purplish blue and with a tannish brown flower:) This morning, I finished a hat I thought would only take a couple hours. In the end, it ended up taking more like four! It's a very pretty pink/brown/maroon/tan mix.

I sound like such a boring mom, don't I? Crocheting, watching American history film, and reading Amish books. Ha! I'm so variable, though. I truly love shopping, getting a new hairstyle, Bare Escentual makeovers, and eating out. I am someone who needs to be busy all the time, else I get bored.

Back To It

2012-01-02T20:55:00.001-08:00

Hi there.

Did you get enough Winter Break? I did! And didn't. See, Christmas goes by like a flash, and leaves me wanting a break from all the holiday busyness. But I tell you what, we enjoyed our family days to the hilt.

We started school today. Everyone else around here has the day off...schools, work, etc. But I say Monday is a great day to get started again! Besides, today was the end of our piano break, so we might as well go full throttle and do school too.

Tomorrow I'll take down the Christmas decor. I really don't want to. It's so cheery and bright with the lights and garlands up. Oh well. Just means I'll have to leave up some winter decor. Hmmm, probably should take a look at those after-Christmas sales, at all the white stuff they have. I love white. If there's any left; I'm a bit behind.

There is major nesting going on at my end. Baby Girl's room is still unfinished. I need to paint a plaque with her name on it (yes we have a name! But, it's a surprise!) and hang up the cute little plaques I made with old bookmarks. Can't wait to finish and post pics. I'd also like to add a few other finishing touches, not sure what those are yet. I'm kind of a whimsical person and don't know what I like until it's up. I like to use what I already have or create it myself. However, I may also take a trip to the local antique and thrift shops. They have great stuff for cheap.

It is official. The two older girls are in the same room. Not only sharing bunk beds, but also sharing closet and dresser space. I want to line the top shelf in their closet with fabric storage bins, and purchase a bookshelf for all their books, including school work. I'm very excited about the end result!

Our master bedroom (which is the same size as the other two rooms) is almost complete! We recently purchased a new bed frame that's super cute, sturdy (finally!, no squeaking every time we move!). Found it on craigslist. Looks Pottery Barn style. It is rustic black, with a bead board-looking design on both headboard and footboard. And with our underbed storage and new baskets on our dresser, we have no need for extra nightstands. I'd like to finish the room with a painted verse or letters along the wall. Also, painted vintage shutters hanging up with pictures attached with ribbon.

Our house is small, so creative storage is key. I don't mind the challenge. In fact, I like it. Bring it on!

I had a strange allergy 2 days in a row. Out of the blue. I'm still trying to figure out what it was. All I can guess is a lack of sleep. Believe it or not, my allergies flare up when I don't get enough shut-eye. I think being pregnant, staying up past midnight (on NYE) then waking up at 7:30 a.m. to teach Children's Church is not a good plan!

So, that's what's going on around here. Hopefully I'll finish everything before Girly gets here. Only 4 weeks to go, more or less!

Hope you had an amazing holiday! Catching up with all your blogs to see what it was like :)

Written A While Ago, But Still Posting It

2011-12-27T16:24:00.000-08:00

I have a bad habit of creating posts and never finishing or posting them. Please tell me this happens to you all?

Anyway, a past post:

To think that our Christmas celebration has come and gone is mind-blowing. All that preparation for 48 hours, over. We had an awesome, full Christmas. Full of family, full of love and full of thanks to Jesus for the best gift ever...salvation. However, I'm thankful there is no longer a counter full of goodies to tempt me. Yet one can't help but feel slightly listless as the Christmas days pass. Our tree is already out the door, chopped up and ready for firewood. We brought it into our home the weekend after Thanksgiving, so it has been giving up it's needles for a while now and can't say I'm sad to do less vacuuming. Of course, I miss the extra lights glowing in our living room. We still have the outdoor lights on, however, as well as the lighted garland on our mantle.

We're enjoying the two weeks of break. Last week we still did school, but there was no piano teaching, AWANA, Bible study or basketball. Only lots of family time. This week we are taking a school break, as we need a breather before we get back on our feet again...into a new year.

Hard to believe I am 35 weeks pregnant and counting! How I feel these days...huge. I feel like I am a clumsy goof. Cleaning the bathroom this morning took twice as long. I'm thankful Mike is going to clean the tub, can't reach inside anymore. I'm having trouble sleeping. For Christmas, instead of gifts, Michael and I got each other a new bed frame. It has done wonders as far as comfort. But now I get up twice in the night and no position is real comfortable. A massage helps me fall sleep quicker. The only other complaint I have is my lower back and pelvis. Yeah, those are achier than ever these days. But they make me tired by the end of the day and that's what I need to get to sleep.

What did you get for Christmas? I got some neat gifts from extended family: Selah CD, whisk, knit scarf, portable DVD player, picture frames, tool set, and makeup gift card. Seems as an adult, I'm less into receiving gifts and all about the giving though! I tend to be a gift-giver at heart anyway. Seriously, a don't need more clutter or knickknacks, especially in our small home. This year, our family chose give to give a sheep, bio-water filter, New Testaments and tracts to those in Asia who really need it. The Gospel is the gift that keeps on giving!

I'm currently listening to the audio version of Forgotton God, by Francis Chan. All I'm going to say is that you need to hear it/read it. More importantly, you and I need to read our Bibles, and hear (do) what God has to say; man-taught, self-made theories, and denominational differences set aside. Don't know about you, but I want the Holy Spirit to have more of my heart and mind every day!

There are many new babies at our church! About 6 to be exact. A mom-friend of mine had her baby just in time for Christmas. What a precious present. Looks like I'm next in line at church! I've been crocheting away. I hope to finish a diaper wrap before time is short.

At Home, On Vacation

2011-12-01T08:23:00.001-08:00

Money is tight this season. Who isn't having to watch their pocketbooks?

So we decided, instead of Michael and I going away for a 4 day trip to Florida with his uncle, or California for a long weekend, that we would just stay in the area and have a stay-cation with the girls, then later Mike and I would head out to the coast together.

It was awesome.

The first day, we were still working on the audit, so we didn't get out. But we made ourselves quit work at 4 p.m. that evening and start our vacation. At about 2 I got all the office work on my end completed and to kick off, we got the house cleaned and spiffed up so we'd have a nice home to come to after our full days of being out! Afterward we went to dinner, then headed to look around at a huge furniture store geared toward family. It's not just a furniture store. It's a few acres of furniture, plus a train that rides around outside, popcorn, talking animals, and amazing home decor to purchase inside. Katie loved it, especially the talking roosters. Since she can't differentiate between roosters and hens, she kept saying "Bawk, Bawk, Bawk!", then "Moo, Moo" for the cows, all the way through the store. Adorable. She loves animals and saying their sounds. All the time. In fact, if your animals are lacking attention, Katie will take care of that.

The next day, we were going to go to Northwest Trek, but they're only open on Fridays during the Fall/Winter. We went to breakfast, then to Kelsey Creek Farm park instead. What a blast. They have beautiful trails to walk along, farm animals to peek at and take photos of. Of course, it's better to go in the Spring and Summer, they have more animals out. But we got to see horses we didn't see last time. There is also a cute play area the girls hung out at afterward. And all for free :)

On Wednesday, we spend the day at Pacific Science Center! I was in grade school when we went there last! It has changed and expanded making it a great place for kids. Brilla got to see a planetarium show, view a real boa constrictor, touch sea urchins and lots more. Katie didn't care for the toddler area but loved walking around the dinosaurs, being with her sister. After lunch (note to self: bring our own next time), we sat in for the IMAX show, "Rocky Mountain Express". Katie slept in my lap the whole time, which was a gift from heaven. The movie was mind-blowing. I did not realize so many lives were sacrificed for the sake of the Canadian rail road. The scenery was breath-taking. The story was very intense. Every time I look at a rail road from now on, I don't take it for granted, remembering the people who initially carved them out. It wasn't easy, at times, fatal.

That night, we went to Claim Jumper. Much to our surprise, with some rewards points earned, we got the entire meal free! Michael realized too late we could have gotten their rich brownies after all :) Really not too sad, seeing we had some cinnamon coffee cake waiting at home.

The last day of our family stay-cation was at the mall. Brilla and Daddy had special time together at the bounce house, while Mommy and Katie hung out at the book store, looking at kids books and throwing balls to each other. (She didn't care for the play area, which was the inital plan). I am not about to engage in bouncing on toys at 7 1/2 months pregnant.

We were going to play Glow Golf, but thought the process would be long for the youngest, so we rode on the rides instead. Cheaper than an amusement park or even the state fair! Afterward we got cotton candy and pretzels. Yum.

We headed home to pack the girls up. They were going to Grammy's, then Auntie's, then Mamang's for the weekend, while Michael and I went to the coast for a few days, alone!

You don't usually dream of going to the ocean in the Fall, especially in Washington. But let me tell you, it was beautiful. There was no one around, so our walks along the beach were private and romantic. Also, there is nothing to do this time of year except eat, walk, bowl and watch tv. We were forced to simply relax and that is what we did. I even got a hot bath in, in the jetted tub :) There was a fireplace in the room, too. I wish I could we used it, but the rooms were heated so warm, a fire would have been too much, especially for me. So we sat in chairs by the window, looking out at the ocean.

On the last day it was sunny! No rain. We bundled up and didn't feel the cold. Good thing I brought my rain boots, because I could tromp out into the water. Ahhh, such a free, crisp breeze and all the time in the world to walk with my husband. After our drive home, we were able to head out to a billiards hall and play hoops, air hockey to our hearts' content, just like teenagers. We'd always wanted to do that and it was worth it.

It ended way too fast, and before you know it, we were greeting our girls again! A wonderful respite and we had missed the girls. But after a while with them again, we realized why we had needed a break :) It will be an adventure with three!

2011-11-23T21:57:00.001-08:00

I haven't really had time to sit and think about what I'm thankful for. But this year, I can sincerely say I've been asking God to give me a more thankful heart.

Instead of a chunky post, here's my list:

I'm thankful for...

~My husband's relaxing piano playing.

~The Holy Spirit's continual companionship and conviction. "I will not leave you as orphans..."

~My girls.

~A healthy pregnancy and the fact that we're having another girl. At first I was disappointed, but it lasted for a short time and my heart is flowing over with excitement to see my daughter.

~The week-long staycation we just had.

~Enough money to cover all our necessities (and even some wants too!)

~Family. Especially my brothers. Miss them so much!

~Finding out the good news that my brother is engaged to be married this summer!

~A warm home.

~Piano students who keep me on my toes (and help me keep my house clean).

~Good food.

~My church family

~Close friends that we can hang with.

~Starbucks gift cards!

~A close second is home-brewed espresso!

~Home schooling. It's been an adventure to say the least, but we're liking it a lot more than I originally thought we would!

~Katie walking.

~Brilla reading on her own.

~Brilla always wanting to be a big helper. Don't know what I'd do without her.

~God helping me overcome a bad habit (sin) in my life.

~Gorgeous earrings from my husband for my 30th birthday!

~My 30th birthday celebration.

~A (finally) decorated bedroom and bathroom.

~House slippers.

~Flowers.

~Autumn produce fresh from the valley.

~My violin that I've picked up again.

2011-11-09T22:47:00.000-08:00

I'm really boring these days. Doing lots of paperwork and data entry.

The auditor came early this week and spent 3 hrs at my house, while I went around in a whirlwind getting the necessary paperwork for her to view. My friend Sarah (who has two kids of her own!) was kind enough to watch the girls for me during this time. We were audited 6 years ago and back then we hardly had any paperwork. But this was totally different, after being 5 years in a new business setup. They say it's a random choosing, but man, they chose the wrong time to come! Well, when ever is a good time for an audit? Just not while I'm pregnant, okay?

It went better than it could have, let's just say. We seemed to have missed a certain tax along the way; thankfully, she's only going back to 2008. So, we do owe money, but not oodles.

Seriously, when you own your own business, you are thankful for the small breaks.

After she left me in a heap, I tried hard not to be discouraged. We were supposed to take a family vacation this weekend and now those plans are gone because we need to submit our reconciliation. But we just decided, by golly, we're going to get this done then take our vacation next week! My husband's job is such that vacation days are unpredictable. He never knows when he'll get jobs, and sometimes projects go longer than predicted. So we take the vacation days as they come! Since I'm pregnant and have no desire to fly anywhere with my toddler, we are going somewhere in-state. But along the coast. Doesn't that sound nice? Even if it's cold, there's nothing like taking walks along the ocean.

Back to the audit. We're hoping to get everything done by this weekend. The auditor retires at the end of this month, so she wants to close the case asap. Fine with us. The past few days, I've had my nose in papers and fingers on the keyboard. Nothing like motivation to keep better records in the future! I feel like every year there's something we could have done to keep more accurate records or retrieve information better. Strangely, I am the office type, and were it not for kids, I'd have this business in better ship-shape. Anyhow, would be nice to have this stuff done before our "Evening of Worship" service at church. A goal anyway.

This morning I was so tempted to just stay at home and get this done. But I know my girls and I both needed Bible study. Fellowship with other believing women. And you don't get a time every day with just you and other women talking about God and His Word. I'm SO glad I went. Rewarding all around.

Also, we hung out with my mom over coffee this afternoon. We talked for a couple hours! B was bored to death (Katie was napping at home, since Daddy got in early from work) but mom and I had a good talk. Then, my mom was so tired she napped in the car and at our house for a couple hours! Must have needed the shut-eye.

Speaking of shut-eye, it's exactly what I need so I can get up early to tackle the numbers again. And our new bunk-beds just got in, so maybe we'll pick those up too! Wow, I can already see a busy end of the week coming. Good thing Mike's on a short break and can help out :)

Btw, I really need to post some pics to liven up this blog. Coming next post!

Thoughts

2011-11-04T08:21:00.000-07:00

It's that time before the kids get up. The world is still somewhat silent, and the sunrise hasn't peeked through. It's in this moment I choose to bask in the Lord, what He has given and provided, not worry about the day will or won't bring. It's when I choose to be thankful for my two (three!) healthy daughters when others I know don't have a child, though they long for one. And I'm grateful for my husband, who is able to work, come home each night, and loves Jesus. I take so much for granted. Most of us do...until something is taken from us and we realize how good life really was. But you know? Life, even with it's rotten apples sprinkled throughout, is still good, because Christ is the Redeemer. There is chance for new life, maybe not in the physical here and now, but our souls can be saved. And nothing can hinder that. None can take that peace and assurance of Christ's everyday mercies away from us. One day we will ultimately be free and be made clean and holy, but we have been made holy here and now. Can I grasp that? Can I comprehend the Holy Spirit's work in my life? He is so much to me. My Comforter, my Strength, my Conviction, my Protector, my Teacher. The less there is of me, the more there is of Him to work in me. I say this because I am not perfect and need the attitude of Christ in me every day. Easy to type out, hard to live.

God has taught me a few simple truths this week.

1) I need to have "ears that hear". Some people change when they hear the simple truth. Other's don't, even though they repeatedly hear cleverly delivered messages. (Pharisees are a good example). Am I doer of the Word, not just a hearer? It doesn't matter what resources I read or how thoroughly I do my Bible study if I'm not doing what I should.

2) I need to forgive. I recently resolved in my heart that I couldn't forgive someone. I've felt this feeling before and knew it was wrong. Why do I still do it? Well, I flipped on the radio and bam, conviction! I need to forgive! Forgiveness is demonstrating the highest good, it's doing what Christ did for us. Do I so easily forget what I myself have been forgiven from? Unforgiveness is putting myself on the throne and thinking I can judge what can't/can be wiped clean. Jesus has much to say on forgiveness. But not just words, He did. He died so I can be forgiven and He still infinitely is more forgiving than I we ever will be. Forgiveness is what Christians are all about. "Put away malice and bitterness..." It's a continual process, not just a one time thing.

3) I need to love. Another things Christian are is loving. When people are around me, do they feel loved? Love is something that stems from the heart, not something conjured up by action. And you are right, sometimes we need to love even when we don't feel like it. It's a choice. The apostle Paul wrote that he loved the other believers in the Church. They were his joy, hope and crown. Do I love other believers, seek to help them? Or am I busy tearing them down, judging them? Part of loving is carrying one another's burdens and helping restore.

I said these were simple truths. Not simple to accomplish or easy to choose. But what Jesus asks me to do, I can do in His strength. His yoke is easy, His burden, light. It's when I let sin encumber me that my tasks become unbearable. He wants to give me rest for my soul.

Well...the kids are up now, the sun has risen and the day is here! There is breakfast to be made, violin to be practiced, school to be done, toys to pick up, diapers to change, etc....... But it's another day to live and love! Bring it on!

I Have To Get Out of Here!

2011-10-28T23:12:00.000-07:00

This is what I said to myself yesterday after a long week of school, sickness and cleaning. In fact, my friend, Susi, said it succinctly in her last blog post.

I have come to love being a stay-at-home. It's a blessing I am able to be there for my girls. I would miss so many moments.

But this week did me in. After a long week of dealing with my youngest's cold, the repetition of opening and closing school books, cleaning up after my creative children who have strewn every belonging we have over every inch of 980 square feet, folding laundry, making beds, planning meals, changing diapers, answering questions, I was ready to get out of here!

I've been watching our budget well, eating at home for every breaskfast, lunch and dinner. Which is good. But when you do that every single day, including the weekend, that amounts to a lot of dish cleaning, counter-wiping, and feet tiredness. Especially while pregnant.

In not so many words I told my husband we have to go somewhere. We did. Even though it was 8:00 at night, we had a simple, wonderful family time at Panera Bread. We each chose a baked goody, complete with milk and tea. And just laughed. Laughing felt so good.

This morning, as I woke up, I thought,"I don't know if I can take another day of this mundane routine. What am I going to do?" Which is very strange, because at the beginning of the week, I know what I'm about. And to boot, my life is not mundane. I am extremely busy with two active kids, one on the way. But we all need a change of scenery. Variety is the spice of life, as they say.

So I plugged along, checking my email, helping my daughter with school...until I got a call letting me know I'd missed my chiropractic appointment but could still come in!

We rushed to the appointment. I'm glad I made it, my lower back goes out so easily these days. Since we were right near Target and TJ Maxx, I decided it was a grand plan to return some things, as well as shop for a few needs (okay, and wants!).

Aside: We have, I kid you not, one pair of sheets for our bed. The last pair we had were 600 thread-count and were the best ever. We used them solely, until they bit the dust. Gratefully, I found a nice pair of sheets. Then, I bought a few other linens - some washcloths, a blanket and quilt for our bed. This retail therapy was a good temporary patch.

However, on my way home, I started getting depressed. A message was left on my phone saying we had been picked for a state audit. Wasn't that nice of them? Second time in fiver years, too. I called to appeal, but the tax specialist just chuckled and said, "Just consider yourself lucky?" I didn't find that very amusing. An audit entails much compilation and digging into old files. After that, I found out we have a to pay a large sum for a certain tax. I thought the calculations were off, but after looking into it, found out it was correct. Double frustration.

So, my boring day turned into a depressing one. Which, strangely, was better than being listless? Yes, call me crazy. I guess conflict drives me to resolve. And to get resolve, I must go to God. Is this why God doesn't leave me bored for very long? And when I do feel bored (which is completely and utterly human), I just need to make sure I don't fill it with fluff. Everybody's fluff is different.

Next week will not be boring. You know where I'll be. Digging up all that lovely paperwork and doing last minute data entry. Juggling girls, prego tiredness, and school. I'll be in my cold garage (where our files are stored), inwardly crying out,

"I have to get out of here"!

Next time, I will be glad for boredom :)

5 Minutes Left

2011-10-25T22:56:00.000-07:00

I have 5 minutes left until I need to go to bed. I've been trying to get in to bed by 11. Believe me, it's been a looong day. I need the sleep. But somehow, freedom while the girls are asleep is delicious.

Nothing exciting today. Just daily grind - girls woke up before I did, then it was breakfast, school, dealing with K's newfound cold, paperwork (taxes) due, more school, clean house, soccer practice, late dinner. Finally, husband home.

However, since K had a cold, I wiped snot all day. She's so cute. After she sneezes, she says "Nose", meaning for me to wipe it. Cute, but exhausting. I think B and I both cheered when she laid down for a nap.

B and I studied police officers today. We looked up policemen from all different countries, even read their different duties. Then we created a police hat and badge. We even made a police man out of a toilet paper roll. Fun, she loved it. Tomorrow we study "safety rules".

Though it was an exhausting and stressful day, there was still the triumph of knowing God is present in our home, His Spirit with us. We had an amazing Bible time together. Learned about Peter being freed from prison. We have been learning that Christians are to live a life of prayer - just as Paul's friends were doing while Paul was in prison. Talk about instant and miraculous answer to prayer! If it was up to B and I, we would just have God time all morning. Singing praises and hymns and talking about who Jesus is, His attributes, what He's done for us.

Looks like I've exceeded the 5 minutes. Surprised? I had better head off now, though.

Nighty-night.

A Not So Great Morning

2011-10-20T13:18:00.000-07:00

All last night my stomach rumbled and gave me discomfort. Not the pregnancy kind of discomfort. This morning, I had to do a restroom rush. Throughout the rest of this morning I've had some pretty unfun diarrhea. If you're reading this, you're likely a mom who has kids and everything is no longer sacred. Read on, it gets more exciting *smirk*

My tabs are overdue and I needed to get an emission test done before getting the tabs. The girls and I arrived at the emissions place early so we could be over and done with it, especially since mom was feeling pretty uncomfortable. It was not to be. During the simple test, our battery died. It does that every once in a while, if you merely leave the dome light on, run the windows, or turn the radio on while the engine is off. We'd been needing to get a new one, and this was the moment of truth.

I guess it's protocol that they can't help jump you during work hours. Here I was, pregnant with a bad case of loose bowels, with two girls in the backseat, left to find someone to jump me. I was very tempted to blow a gasket. I admit, I called my husband (at least I had my cell phone), and cried. But only for 5 seconds. My logic kicked in and I called AAA. Of course, we waited for about 1 hour. I have family/friends who could have been there sooner. At least they had a bathroom at the station for moi. It was all for the better, though, because the AAA man came bearing a new battery to install. Thankfully, I was able to go get us some lunch nourishment after the installation, then immediately finish the emissions test (which only takes a whole 5 minutes or less).

Thankfully, during the whole process, my eldest was amazing. We also had games, our Awana handbook and magazines in the car to keep us company!

I am now in our cozy home, thankful for the small things, like a working battery. It only takes a small event like this to remind me to be grateful for a functioning car, or even more, for car ownership.

Still Drippy But Making the Best of It

2011-10-05T08:07:00.001-07:00

Here we are, still with the runny nose (at least K, that is) and missing Bible study. But instead of seeing the gloom, I am glad we get another day of full school so we can get the rest of the week off. Kindergarten is such bliss in that way. And though we can't go to Bible study, we can get out and have a day with Mamang (Filipino for Grandma) around lunch time. She does not mind the occasional drip :)

I am back at crochet. My morning sickness is always so horrible that I don't feel like doing much of anything for a while...cooking, cleaning, hanging out with other moms, etc. But now I am back at doing all those things, and more. I feel great. I started a hat for K last night. One with a buttoned-back brim and huge flower on the side. Of course, I'm trying to do fall colors, but really I'd like it to last all year.

Once it's done, I'll post pictures.

I would like to make a hat for myself. I haven't done that yet. And then it's time to make those Christmas gifts. I'm excited about that because I want to try new things, and it will take a while. I want to make headbands for my nieces, maybe a purse for my sis-in-law, and socks for the mothers. I don't make the men things. I've learned that was a mistake a long time ago.

Yesterday was such a gorgeous Fall day that the girls and I went on a nature walk. We picked up all shapes of leaves in glorious brown, gold, green, orange and red. Ah. Maple. Birch. Oak. Couldn't get enough. We were having so much fun that B kept up the whole time and I didn't have to tell her to hurry up. Personally, I think walking is THE best exercise during pregnancy. We may go on another walk to see the horses today.

New discovery: Two things improved our school day yesterday...a schedule on B's marker board and 5 minute (productive) breaks in-between subjects. The schedule, because B likes to know what's ahead, what's expected, and she likes to check it off when done. The breaks, because her mind is able to relax a bit, and gather strength to focus for the next teaching time. Now, these breaks consist of things skill-related. Like drawing on her chalkboard. Painting. Using her Leap-Frog interactive globe or map. Puzzles. We both like this change of pace and it works wonders.

Now I'm off to take a bath, but have to scrub the bath first. Don't you love being your own maid?

Latest Reads

2011-09-29T16:04:00.000-07:00

I had some great reads on hold at the library and finally made the time to head over and pick them up.

"Affordable ideas for a relaxed home"...

This one I'm liking because it emphasizes making the most of what you have, going neutral and natural (but some of their colors seem a little unnatural if you ask me! like hot pink), cost-wise treating your interior like your wardrobe (a little here, a little there), and using color to enhance architecture. This book is extremely down-to-earth, and has oh-so-inspiring pictures.

Practically Posh (Smart Girls' Guide to a Glam Life)...

This has a lot of information you may already know, but it covers everything. From how to save on grocery shopping to caring for your clothing. Awesome.

No Place Like Home...

You almost get a little discouraged with this read after Cheap Chic. But it has great things like how to arrange your furniture, which artwork to use in a room and other fun stuff.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yesterday, while my youngest and I were stuck at home with the sniffles, I got the itch to decorate my home for Fall. I had been wanting to, but homeschooling has been priority lately, and by the time we are done with our work, I am too exhausted for any creatives juices to flow. We had fun creating things:

As it says on my chalkboard-painted framed paper...Autumn has officially come here in the PNW! And I will give you the quote written on the black frame we created artwork on, behind the words of I-N-S-P-I-R-E (since it's hard to see).

"No spring nor summer beauty hath such grace as I have seen in one autumnal face."

John Donne

I agree.

An Unwanted Break

2011-09-28T08:55:00.001-07:00

My youngest girl and I are sick today :( Being sick is not fun, but it does give us a good excuse to be at home, resting. (Of course, Mom doesn't always have the luxury.) It has been forever since we've been sick. I don't think I've been sick this entire pregnancy so far. Normally, right now we'd be at Bible study, serving. Poor B is sad she has to miss her class; she's NOT sick. She said,"Mom, Dad can just drop me off." Ha.

At Bible study, Katie is in the infant class with me. Reason being, she's only 17 months and a beginner walker. The toddler class is for those who've been toddling a long while and are between 18-24 months. Also, there are about 18 toddler already in that class! There are only about 9 infants. I love the infants! Yes, they only have one language (crying) and are needy, but their needs are simple. They basically eat, sleep and fill diapers. Recently having an infant, I am familiar with this stage. Recently discovered that a little one in my class is just like my girls...the mom has red hair, and dad is half-Filipino. Also, the dad is 1/4 Irish. Crazy! My husband has red hair, and though I'm half Filipino, I'm 1/4 Irish (my granddad is full-blooded Irish). You don't hear/see that every day1

The only hard thing about the class is that my daughter, K, is clingy. She is the oldest "infant" and I think, jealous of me holding other babies. Good prep for her! At the church nursery, she has no problem. I am not holding little ones the entire time. There are kids her age present as well. There are better toys and more room to walk around. Oh well, it's good training for us both!

Here's to better health!

Small Details

2011-09-26T13:43:00.000-07:00

My eldest daughter sits beside me creating her thank you notes while I type this post out.

Why is that an important detail?

Usually, when doing school assignments, I have her sitting apart from me. She is in her little world and I'm in mine. I am productive paying bills or (not-so-productive updating my blog) but my girl is daydreaming on the other side of the kitchen, perhaps needing a prodding every other moment to finish her work.

But right now is different.

B is social. Very social. As I peek at her right beside me, I realize she is doing her work quicker than ever. Why? Because she's with me. And that somehow prompts her to finish; it gives her company.

Hmmm. I need to remember this.

Yesterday, at church, I asked another mom how homeschooling was going. It's her first year (though her daughter's in 3rd grade) doing this, so I thought I'd encourage her with a few words. You know, "Keep it up", etc. On the flip side, she inspired me. She said she didn't know why she always required her daughter to do school work at her desk. It was okay for her to do Spelling on the floor, or Reading on her bed. The more we talked, the more I gleaned ideas and realized I lacked flexibility and perspective on some things.

What a wonderful thing to open up and talk with others about life. Simple words of experience can be life (or day) changers .

Amelia

2011-09-24T14:43:00.000-07:00

Really, God sent the sunshine just for us. What a perfect setting to welcome a day in remembrance of Amelia, our second daughter.

Most parents are thrilled to give birth, because they have a sweet, warm body to cradle and hold at home later. And though we held our daughter in our arms as well, we had to relinquish her to the undertaker and really, God Himself. What a hard, gut-wrenching day that was.

It blows my mind that it was 3 years ago. She would be 3 years old today. It makes my heart ache at the thought. To know our daughter could be running around the house, playing with her oldest Sister, and teaching the youngest new things.

But that's not what God has in store.

He has something greater (of course in our minds it seems sadder) for her life. To spend it in Heaven with Him. This means that once again our hearts our pained for the loss of our second girl, but at the same time, it means Amelia is without pain and we never have to wonder about her eternity. So, in a way, we both mourn and celebrate Amelia's absence in our life.

We won't always mourn.

One day, Jesus will return and we will reign with our Savior as well...and join Amelia. This is what creates joy and we can truly sing...Because He lives, I can face tomorrow. Because He lives, all fear is gone; because I know He holds the future. And life is worth the living just to know He lives. Because our God lives, Amelia lives, and we are able to have eternal life in Heaven, even when this one on Earth is over.

Human life is a miracle. But eternal life? That is an even greater miracle indeed.

We miss you and love you, Amelia! We always will.

Blackberries

2011-09-23T09:18:00.000-07:00

I have seen the light!

Well, I've seen that we have blackberries in the neighborhood anyway. If I'd known we had them sitting around in thorny bushes for free, I would have been picking years ago. Funny how when you have kids and are trying to be a healthy mom, you get more creative.

It all started when a friend of mine let me know of an organic raspberry farm in the valley near us. My eldest was so excited to pick, but when we arrived at 9:30 a.m. they were already gone! We were both craving berries so badly. When there's a will, there's a way. I remembered my neighbor had picked some blackberries nearby, so I asked her the location. And there they were! At the beginning of their season, but still somewhat ripe. I picked a bunch and we had enough for blackberry cobbler.

Since then, we've picked three different times...for blackberry jam, for a mere snack, then again night before last for a Crumble! Here's the link for Williams-Sonoma Blackberry Crumble. Believe me, it is yummy, though not healthy, per se. The mixture of blackberries and apples is heavenly.

Anybody involved in late summer projects? I am starting a very small one. When I'm finished, I'll try to remember to post pics.

Two Announcements

2011-09-22T09:56:00.000-07:00

It's...another girl!!

I must admit, we were a little disappointed to hear "girl" and not "boy". That, however,

lasted about 1 minute because the words "healthy", "textbook heart function", "nice kidneys", "beautifully developing brain", and "super healthy" prevailed! Each of our daughters is a miracle, and this one is no exception. Now onto name-choosing! We are not that couple who right away has a name chosen. No, without fail, it's always about 2 months 'til.

I am already thinking up cute crocheted headbands to make, a "welcome dress" to sew, and perhaps a baby room makeover for our new princess! I also informed Mike that I am all over coordinating the girls' outfits this time round, so he had better watch out for some cute photo shoots. Ahem...*hint* *hint*, Kari.

But first of all, I have to make it through this pregnancy. Oh that pregnancy would be shorter and holding the baby would be sooner! But I guess you can't have one without the other. I am 21 weeks and baby, from head to rump, is about a carrot-length (whatever that means). Okay, I guess it means about 10 1/2 inches long. Our girl is specifically 13 oz. Cool, huh? Our technology these days is mind-blowing.

My other announcement is that Katie is OFFICIALLY A WALKER! She now prefers walking to crawling (so would I). I now have to watch her like a hawk because she will escape out the front door, climb across the deck, out onto the driveway, walk up the driveway, and right into the cul-de-sac! Ack! Enough to scare this mama out of her wits. And she's not much of a complainer. If she falls, she dusts off and gets right back up. In fact, she adores grass and dirt (another reason I have been giving more baths these days). Honestly, I love it. This stage so far is my favorite. I love watching her explore.

Brilla is now 5 and is in her second year of kindergarten. Some things still need to be mastered. Two things we are a little ahead in is Reading and Math. We are both excited to start cursive in the winter! I try to get "in and out" of school, so she has time to do the other things she loves, like ride her bike in the sunshine, paint, and draw. Brilla is on her first soccer team. It's a hoot. It never dawned on me to teach my daughter some skills (though I've played all my life???) so now we have P.E. time, in which we do just that. Last week's game, she was the goalie. In the rain. The first goal went right through her legs and the second went right past her as she daydreamed up at the sky. Ha!

I am cooking again, much to the delight of my husband and believe it or not, Brilla. Of course, it's simple stuff and I like it that way. Things like hamburger pizza, homemade marinara and spaghetti, and baked salmon. I was going to grill my salmon last night, but alas, the propane tank was out. Especially sad, when I wanted to try out the cedar planks. However, with simple seasoning, the salmon was a hit.

I am also decorating my home. Since the kitchen is now green, I have put up some black/white flower curtains from IKEA and my sweet husband has installed new, inexpensive white cabinets above our washer and dryer (in our kitchen) to replace the old shelves. Now we have more, hidden storage. The theme for my kitchen is black and white, with some splashes of red. I think the simplicity will highlight the green better, making it less loud. Last night, I found some cute framed pictures at the store. There were also several other SWEET items that I said no too, because I realized I could probably make them myself.

My allergies are at an all-time high. My eyes constantly itch an my nose drips. Allergies are very annoying. They make me irritable. When single, I got allergies all the time. Since being married and having children, I rarely get them. For some reason, pregnancy brings them out, though. Maybe it's all the extra blood pumping through my body that produces extra fluid. I don't know. Hoping the irritability goes away :(

Being Filled with the Holy Spirit

2011-09-22T07:52:00.000-07:00

Amazing how we can read the Bible, yet be totally blind to spiritual truths until the Holy Spirit teaches us its meaning. Especially when we're stubborn and we think we already know what it says. Either by denominational background or just plain misinterpretation by those we grew up around.

Such is case with me and understanding what it means to be filled with the Holy Spirit.

I say is because the Holy Spirit is still revealing to me about Himself (and I'm sure until Jesus Himself returns). But I could also say was because just this week, my husband and I had a long talk, while reading Scripture and going through my Bible study notes...and I was BLOWN AWAY! Thank you , Jesus, for showing me, by your Holy Spirit, what it means to be filled with your Spirit!

All my life, I have not known what it truly means to be filled with the Holy Spirit. I grew up in a charismatic background, where, even after being a believer, you continually had to ask the Holy Spirit in. Whether is was by blowing or other (and it grew stranger) means. Now, this may be just me, but I thought that the believer was always filled with the Spirit and at certain times, received an "extra" unction by Him to speak powerfully, whether in tongues, or prophesy. As if, in that moment, the Holy Spirit fell upon a believer.

Now, this may happen, but not due to a mere feeling-inspired, excitable request for the Holy Spirit to come!

However, I also joined the other side during my teens in Baptist and other circles where being filled with the Spirit is rarely encouraged, preached on, or talked bout. In fact, it's shied away from! It's slightly taboo. Because the subject has been misunderstood, unfortunately, it's not a popular subject in conservative circles.

Firstly, let's decipher between baptism and filling of the Holy Spirit. They are two different occurrences.

It must be cleared up that prior to Pentecost, the apostles had just seen Christ go up in the clouds. They had the Holy Spirit because Jesus had been with them. Now that He was gone, the Holy Spirit was with them, but not yet in them. In fact, Jesus said to wait to witness until the Holy Spirit had baptized them. Hence, at the day of Pentecost, they were baptized with the Holy Spirit.

Believers no longer need to ask the Holy Spirit to baptize them; this immediately occurs when we trust in Jesus as our Lord and Savior. When we are convicted of our sin and repent, surrendering our lives to Christ. "Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and you shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit." Acts 2:38

So, it is not a mystery. Every believer automatically receives the Holy Spirit at new spiritual birth.

As for the filling of the Holy Spirit, this can occur numerous times throughout the believer's life. We are to ask the Holy Spirit to fill us. It is also possible to have been filled with the Spirit and later not be. It's possible to grieve the Holy Spirit within us.

When a person receives Jesus Christ as the Savior, the Holy Spirit baptizes them into a new creature, the old has gone, the new has come. This lasts forever. We are sealed until the day of redemption. However, it's possible to allow sin to remain resident in our lives instead of surrendering it to the Lord; hence, grieve the Spirit. Someone who was once filled with the Spirit and has now grieved Him may experience a drought of joy, love and peace that only the Holy Spirit brings. This believer might feel like the Holy Spirit has left. This drought will continue only until that sin(s) have been confessed and repented of through the blood of the Lord Jesus Christ. The more a believer rids themselves of this crippling sin, and surrenders, replacing it with what God wills us to do, the more a believer is filled with the power of the Holy Spirit. The Christian is then able to grow spiritually and be of great use to Jesus. Each time we yield our will to His, confessing and turning away from our sin, we are filled with the Holy Spirit.

Can I say, often, in a believer's life, when the pruning is most painful and we have to empty ourselves and see our great need for Christ (cause we can't do it ourselves), it is then that we are most often cleansed and filled with the Holy Spirit? Remember, being filled with the Holy Spirit isn't wholly for our moment-filled excitement, but mainly to experience His power working through us for His glory. Most often our response will be, "Lord, where did that come from?!" We then realize it was through the power of the Spirit, the work of God in our lives. Praise Jesus! He gives us a peace and joy amidst our circumstances. Not something the world can give.

Hopefully, I have not thoroughly confused any one reading this. But, just a little more on the subject, seeing that it is slowly clearing up for me....

All Christians are to be filled with the Holy Spirit. It's to be the norm. To not be filled with the Spirit is abnormal. To lack that love, and be filled with fear is not to be. To be stilted by sin, crippled by disobedience is not God's will. We are to put away anger, wrath, malice, put away corrupt communication. To not put these away is grieving the Holy Spirit. "Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise, but as wise, making the best use of the time because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish but understand what the will of the Lord is. And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Holy Spirit." Ephesian 5:18

Looking back, I can see times I have been filled with the Holy Spirit and the times I have not been. I accepted Christ at age 9, but in my teens, I struggled with temptation and often gave in. I grieved the Spirit, and hence, felt empty, depressed, and like a failure in my Christian life. Thankfully, I repented, and I remember seeing spiritual fruit grow, a fervor develop to share Jesus with everyone I came in contact with. However, there have been other times since then I've wanted my own way and will, not His. Yet, by His grace, the Holy Spirit does not give up on us. He convicts and prods and brings us to our knees! "And I am sure of this, He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ." Philippians 1:6

So, even though my understanding was limited, the Spirit filled me and worked through me anyway. However, now I know. And I am excited. I want to be filled to the brim with His Spirit. He is not Someone to shy away from! He is the One to long for, to seek after, to pray for. The apostles longed for all believers to be filled with the Holy Spirit and receive spiritual gifts. Of course, this won't come at no cost to myself. I have to deny my own selfish desire to do what He asks, be transformed, conformed. But the reward is great. His joy, His peace, His love is lasting!

A Real Treat

2011-07-19T10:13:00.000-07:00

We've been having fun with our cousins this weekend!

To be exact, my aunt, cousin and her family are visiting from Vegas (where it is triple digits) so they are grateful for the cool weather we've had this weekend.

This is in the small town of Steilacoom. It wasn't the best weather, but not pouring and the ocean was gorgeous. Besides, it's not what you do, it's who you're with!

It's always a special treat when we have family visit up here because they all live in California, Nevada, or the Midwest. And they all live in clusters (except for us) so they really have no reason to come up to the cold Pacific NW.

Too funny, this past weekend, we have gone to places this PNW native has not been in ages. For example, we went to Steamer's for dinner, then drove on a beautiful tour of Chambers Bay and Steilacoom. It's been a good while since I've been to Steilacoom. Then on Sunday, we visited the Museum of Flight and Snoqualmie falls. The real treat was on Monday. We went to the Sky City Restaurant at the Space Needle! I have been to the Needle once before a long time ago, but never to eat. It was quite the treat. A little pricey, but totally worth it. The view was amazing since the weather let up all day and the sun shone bright. Below is a video of one of the fancy desserts we ordered, the Lunar Orbiter. All four were free with the handy dandy coupon discovered by Steve and Phoebe!

Unfortunately, the girls are sick now. I think the lack of naps has caught up with them. I really don't know if it's related. I have an inkling Katie is teething due to the runny nose and trouble with sleep. Brilla had a mild fever last night. This morning she seems fine but I didn't want to risk it. We are missing out on the big trip to Mount Rainier today (boo!) and resting up at home. It was a hard decision to make, but as the day goes, I'm glad I made it. Brilla's watching cartoons and I'm catching up on housework and blogging. Katie is footloose and fancy free crawling up and down the house. I have to watch her like a hawk . She loves the toilet and yanking things off shelves. Oh, and taking every last item out of my purse. Think I'm going to put mine up and custom-make her own, using one of Brilla's and filling it with all kinds of fun stuff.

My Post for the Week

2011-07-05T13:20:00.001-07:00

Hey, I'm doing pretty good. Getting on here two weeks in a row!

Yesterday was the best July 4th celebration I can remember in a while. We had plenty of good food, the best weather ever, and and about 25 people to share it with.

We all agreed to go low-key this year. Since my sis-in-law was hosting this event at her home (and her husband was on a trip), we thought it only fair to divvy up the food amongst us other ladies of the family. Also, my mother-in-law exhausted herself at our church's July 3rd celebration, my mom worked her graveyard shifts that weekend, and I am pregnant. It turned out great. I've not cooked in a while, so it was fun for me to bake some blueberry crisp, marinate chicken legs in some homemade teriyaki sauce for someone else to grill (since I can't take the smell), and whip up creamy Italian dressing . We also had the Asian chicken salad from Costco, grilled salmon, and the usual hamburger and hot dog combo. My mom made an amazing potato salad and made up shortcakes for our strawberry decadence later. Fresh berries from Picha, too! My mother-in-law made some chocolate zucchini cake (which, if you've never had, is so delicious) and my cousin-in-law made banana bread. And I was worried that we wouldn't have enough dessert. Ha.

We were up 'til midnight lighting fireworks and watching all the neighbors light theirs. I didn't light fireworks growing up, so my favorite part of the whole day was watching Brilla's enthusiasm. Strangely, I feel very rested today after sleeping in. Brilla had her first swim lesson this morning. Katie is catching up on sleep right now. We are just chilling. Later we might play out in the sun and water. But right now, the relaxation is perfect.

My brother's girl friend is in town, staying with for the week. It has been cute to watch young love. I found myself reminiscing about what it was like to fall in love with Michael. So many new feelings inside and so much time to spend time alone together...without housework, without kids. But then again, there's also all the unknowns when you are with someone, not yet engaged or even married. Will I be committing the rest of my life to this person? Will their family like me? Where will we live? How will we make our money? Yes, I do like post-wedding better after all. Many unknowns still, but the Pilot knows our way. And I have a sweet man and two adorable (one in heaven) children out of the deal.

Which reminds me. Brilla said this afternoon, "Katie and I were born to Earth, but Amelia was born to Heaven." True. Out of the mouths of babes.

The Babe is 10 weeks. He/she is 1 1/4 inches long. It is starting to dawn on me that in little over 6 months, we will have a little red, squawling baby to hold and cherish. I see the expectant mothers and newborns all around in the parks, at the grocery store. It's a mother's instinct to long after the tiny toes and fingers. And it's reality that wakes us again to sleepless nights, having to go pee numerous times, and knowing our body will never be the same!

I've figured out that to speed up my digestion (since I continously feel bloated after eating) and metabolism, I need to be more active. I have not been exercising, and thoroughly lackluster. Perhaps my next post will be about how good I feel. *Smile*

Oh, and I have a new read. "Spoken from the Heart" by Laura Bush. It promises to be a long one at 432 pgs. Just from the introduction, I had to grab a tissue...which I attribute highly to pregnancy. She is a good writer, and I'm looking forward to the following chapters. Lately, I have been enjoying non-fiction. I'm almost finished with "A Thousand Gifts" and just completed "Out of Darkness", written by an acquaintance.

9 weeks

2011-06-29T11:02:00.001-07:00

Yes, 9 weeks. And yes, you may see an exciting post like this every week! Heehee.

Katie has started movin' on her walker, thanks to my friend Susi's recent post. Why didn't I get her on that thing sooner? She is addicted and won't stop except to get a drink and a snack now and then! I figured at 14 mos, it might be a good time to started urging her to walk. Although, I've heard the longer children crawl, the better because it strengthens their spine. The curvature is improved because they have to use their core, and neck muscles.

I am still blinking from the finish of K4. It was such a fun school year. Meanwhile, Brilla is doing some fun Math and Writing books to maintain during the summer. Also, she is doing the Summer Reading Club at our local library. It's a "rewarding" way to keep up her reading skills, since they get rewards once they've reached a certain amount of reading time. We've enjoyed reading Clifford, Fancy Nancy, Berenstein Bears, ballet books, etc. Both my girls love books, so it's a treat. B is also doing piano lessons and will start up swim next week. My husband and I both agreed we want her to learn swimming, even if just for safety reasons.

I'm teaching through Summer. Some parents and students need and break, which they take. But as for the rest, we just keep going! It's neat when all your students enjoy piano lessons. I've had to change my expectations and cater to meet the needs of each student. The goal is for each child to be interested in music and learn in the best way, while at the same time, have objectives to complete. For example, I have a student whose light bulb was just not coming on and the excitement which was there, had dwindled. I gave that student a Star Wars book and BOOM!, the bulb lit! On the objective side, I like my students to play comprehensive pieces that include classical. I also like them to do theory; know what they are playing and be able to read notes. I have one student who is wildly talented at piano. He is only 6 and just played his first Sonatina. I have to continually keep him challenged! See how piano continues to be fun for me?

My husband is about to be crazy busy with work. I don't mean he's been sitting on the couch this whole time. What I mean is...framing is made up of pockets of time. Some months you are getting a project here and there, other times you are hiring like 4 more guys because you have 4/5 projects going at once. The latter is what is happening right now. I tend to be a flexible wife and don't mind my husband's strange hours. I figure there are plenty of men out there without work, why should I complain when my husband has to work late or on Saturdays? We can pay our bills and have our needs met. We have much to be grateful for.

Lately, I've had a cold. One that has hung on for a week and a half. It started with a sore throat (no other symptoms) for a week, then on the weekend, it escalated and left me voiceless. I have been struggling to get it back ever since, and in the meantime, have had bad congestion. Last night is the best night's sleep I've had in a while. My voice is also much better. I tell you, it was beginning to be a big pain. Of course, you can imagine my H enjoyed teasing me about my voice and the girls liked the freedom of mom not raising her voice.

As for first trimester woes, I've decided to spare you. I am still struggling and still tired, but distraction is the key.

The neighbor girls keep stopping by, like every day. I'm not exaggerating. I struggle with my attitude. Don't get me wrong, they are very sweet girls, but you can have too much of a good thing. So if I'm busy, I just let them know. If I'm gardening, I ask them if they'd like to join, and they do...for about 5 minutes :) But really, what they want to do is come in, have a snack, play the piano and hang out for a couple of hours, no joke. Brilla loves when they show up! And they love to hold Katie. So it is often a plus. M and I have decided to start Summer Bible club again. The Lord has put a strong desire in our heart to share the Gospel with the kids around here. Sure, some of them have been before, but as we all know, there are different seasons of sowing and reaping.

Today I'm hoping to get a walk in and get the dishes done! My youngest is sleeping so now seems to be a great time for a shower.

Hope to catch up on my posting again, at least once a week~

First Trimester Funk

2011-06-22T07:55:00.000-07:00

I am at 8 weeks, little babe is the size of a kidney bean (which is supposed to be bigger than last week's blueberry at 7 weeks). There really is nothing like pregnancy to make time stand still. I feel like the days are creeping by. What I really want is to be at 12 plus weeks and out of this funk of nausea and utter exhaustion.

You know, on Monday, I had a serious bout of depression. I know there is much talk about PPD (post-partum depression), but nobody ever talks about first trimester depression. I have not struggled with PPD, but definitely have with FTD (my own clinical abbreviation). It must be the combination of hormones, tiredness, and inability to eat like normal. This is my second time experiencing it, and I'm sure there are others out there who do. Anyway, all I know is, I found myself on the couch in the "depths of despair" (in consideration of Anne Shirley), sick with a sore throat and headache, and utterly miserable. Don't get me wrong, I am usually a go-getter, looking for an adventure with the kiddos (especially during Summer). So, what is a woman to do when she feels this way but has two little ones swirling around her, very needy? Well, I tried my motivational speech of "You can do this, just get up and get dressed", I tried positive thinking, "It'll pass in a little bit". But when the entire morning went by and I was still feeling depressed, I finally asked the Lord for help. Yes, the classic scenario of trying to do it in your strength, failing miserably, then realizing He has been there all along. And you know what? My simple plea of "Lord, please take away this pit in my stomach, relieve my sore throat and bring me out of this depression" was answered. Partly in the form of a nap, because when I woke up only 10 min later, I felt worlds better. And, as a bonus, Mike pulled up in his truck, home early from work. The Lord always knows when we need help, even in the seemingly small things! Since Monday, I've had no trouble getting on my feet and staying busy. Never underestimate the care and love of the Lord!

2011-06-07T10:12:00.001-07:00

It has hit. The intense headaches, barely-there nausea, pungent smells, and hardly-eat-a-thing meals.

I am not feeling good right now. I've noticed eating a couple slices of lunch meat and gulping a big glass of water has helped in the mornings. The evenings are bad though. I get easily bloated and I just feel all around uncomfortable.

I have said this with each of my past three pregnancies, but how did I forget? How did I forget how miserable the first trimester is for me? I like creating my healthy meals at home and I just can't these days. The smells simply overwhelm me. Mike doesn't cook at all so that leaves eating out, or buying something pre-cooked. My appetite also changes every day. What sounded good at lunch, doesn't sound good at dinner. Hence, we may have to tip our budget a little on food this month.

Thankfully, all of my students are on Mondays. That leaves the rest of the week to distract myself with gardening, paperwork, cleaning, and home schooling, etc. Wish my schedule stayed like this forever!

I am ready to have our Summer break from school! We have finished Math and Reading. We still have some Handwriting and Poetry to finish. Brilla read the word Tennessee last night, and it proved how well our curriculum works, and that she's come a long way. I am thankful I don't have to motivate my daughter to do her work. She gets excited every time we start. She may get a *little* distracted and we have to refocus. But overall, she likes to learn. I am excited about broadening our subjects next year, with History, Spelling and Science. But oh, am I looking forward to our Summer break first!

My brother is home from college for the summer. I miss both of my brothers so much throughout the year, especially at family events. The other one I don't get to see until August. Only two months away though! The brother that's home has been a huge help. He's already finished a huge project for us; ridding us of cables running along the floor for our toddler to chomp on, and reconnecting our tv and internet through the house. I am realizing more and more that my brothers are men now! One has his very serious girl friend coming to visit and the other is travelling with an ensemble group from school (that's why we only get to see him come Aug), setting his sights on law school after he graduates with this BS, or is it BA? Time goes by so fast. It is a huge blessing that we are close friends.

I start playing softball on Friday. The last time I played softball was when I was in grade school. Yeah. I'll need a little practice with Mike so I don't embarrass the team. It will be great for me to get the exercise though. Lately I've had no long walks or workout videos; I've been feeling pretty bad.

My youngest is asleep right now. She is teething and the poor thing has had a runny nose and short temper lately. She is still an unbelievable bundle of cuteness, chub and smiles. She has the prettiest smile ever! Her crawling has led her to greater adventures...like the toilet and eating my plants. She cruises along furniture, etc., but no walking yet. Her personality is very laid back. Her whole life, from birth (she was about 2 weeks late), she has never been in a hurry. We all figure she will walk when she's good and ready!

We have had amazing weather lately. Especially over the weekend. Right now it's cloudy, windy and looks like it will rain. I'm not at all sad, because it just means I don't have to get out and plant my lilac starters, which I don't feel like doing.

My project today is to finally purge out the 2010 files and put it in storage. Sheesh....

Another

2011-05-30T20:44:00.001-07:00

...baby is coming! Our fourth-born will be arriving around February. All my overeating, bloating, and headaches have not been in vain! There is a tiny one inside of me causing all the fuss :)

Of course, I'm not the least bit complaining. And wouldn't it be wonderful if all I got was a bad headache now and then? So far, there has been no nausea. But then again, I'm only about 4 weeks.

I'm so excited these days; I'm about to burst! Please keep us in prayer, too, as we're not ignorant that the first trimester is fragile. All is in the Lord's hands, and we completely trust Him!

When Life Seems Unfair (Or Untimely)

2011-05-16T08:04:00.000-07:00

I was nourished from our pastor's sermon this Sunday. I say nourished because it is exactly what I needed for my spiritual hunger. And I didn't even know it.

He gave us the story of Lazarus. But what I got from it really has nothing to do with raising people from the dead! Strangely, nor was it about miracles. It was about God's perfect timing. When Jesus was here on earth, He had a set amount of time to do everything God wanted Him to do. No one could hurry Him up, and no one could give Him precaution to slow it down. How this ties in with Lazarus, was the amount of time Jesus waited before He went to see the family. L's sisters said, "If you would have been here, our brother would not have died." The disciples said, "He's dead already. Why are we going to see him now?" But unlike us, the Son of God had perfect timing. He knew having to go through the grief of losing a brother would strengthen the faith of those who loved Him even more. However, Jesus was not callous, but calculated. Those who believed in Jesus needed to go through this hard time because soon, He too would be killed, dead for three days, and be raised again. They needed enduring faith to believe all would be well. Also, He waited that long because He wanted this miracle of Lazarus to be unlike the other people he raised from the dead that same day. Jesus had it all under control. He didn't raise Lazarus out of regret. He had a plan and a certain amount of time to accomplish the Father's will.

This concept of God's perfect timing reall sunk in. Why am I so impatient to get on with the next thing the Lord has for me? Why do I hurry up life? God sees the big picture. And for those who follow Him, all our days, minutes, hours, He has control over. He knows when things need to take place. If we struggle against Him, He's got to add more pressure to the clay to get all the impurities and misformations out. He's gentle, but persistent.

I need to embrace what God has for me, not fight it. And no, my life will not look another person's. Why? Because my life is unique to God's timeline. It's all part of His plan. And He loves us like no one else ever could. At the same time we think we're being kept from something, we're being kept for something.

"Nevertheless, I am continually with you, you hold my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward will receive me to glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."

One Thousand Blessings

2011-05-06T11:24:00.001-07:00

I am currently reading the book "One Thousand Blessings" by Ann Voskamp. It is tremendous. My mom gave it to me as an early Mother's Day gift. It is nothing new you haven't heard; that's what I like about it. It's her personal testimony how she was able to come out of a life of grief and joyless living. It's about giving thanks to God for where you're at right now. Expansion of your contentment factor.

Hope all you moms have a beautiful and thankful Mother's Day! It really is a privilege to be a mother. A position of worth and humbleness I no longer take for granted. And you've heard it said before...you are a mother to someone. Even if you don't have children of your own. Someone looks up to you and leans on you. You are a blessing!

I'm so thankful for my mom, mom-in-law, Grandma, the ladies at church who've discipled me, older single friends who've shard life's tid-bits with me, my aunties...the list goes on.

Happy Mother's Day!

A Godly Man Gone Home

2011-04-28T19:58:00.001-07:00

I just found out that David Wilkerson died in a car accident last night. This news deeply saddens my heart. Not because he's Home, but, our world was blessed with a true saint and man of God, and now it is void of him. But through all the words he spoke from Scripture, God's Word will not return void. It is still changing the hearts of men and women.

Almost every Christian I know has seen The Cross and the Switchblade. I did as a teen and was emboldened to compassion and sharing the Gospel. But also as a teen, I struggled with deep sin. Sin that left me feeling entrapped and like a hypocrite. This sin was "secret" but how could I not realize that God was watching? Satan, and our own hearts, can twist the truth.

I vividly remember the evening David Wilkerson spoke to my heart.

Dad had brought home a video message of him. Our family had watched this message before; the first time it had seemed unduly harsh. However, this time I felt Dr. Wilkerson speaking directly to me when he talked about the church of God "passing under the rod". I didn't speak of it after we turned the screen off. But my conscience, and God, would not leave me alone! That night, my dear, compassionate father listened to me as I poured out my heart to him about everything.

And that is how Dr. Wilkerson impacted my life.

His BLOG, last post just written yesterday, spoke to my heart again.

Another saint gone to be with Jesus!

Budget & Style

2011-04-13T14:47:00.001-07:00

Any of you on a new budget? We bit the bullet and did a sort-of-budget. Since we don't have a predictable, constant income, we did more of a cap-type where we tracked our spending for 3 months then dealt out a limit we thought reasonable.

It has been the best thing we've done in a while! I like having a goal for saving our money. I also have more freedom knowing where everything is going.

I've had to cut back on a few things. I thought it would be hard on me, but it's been the complete opposite. It's been challenging, but rewarding. I've had to be a bit more creative, and content. I get less (almost nil) coffee out, don't buy clothes every month, and cook meals more. We still love eating out, that's kind of our thing, but much less than we used to.

Plus, we have piles of things in storage. All those things I buy add up. Less things to store? I can handle that!

Which reminds me, Spring cleaning is just around the corner. I cannot wait to get my hands on our garage. I am not one of those people who regularly cleans their garage (and just moves around junk). I wait until a certain time every year, then do a massive downsizing. The more I dig into my drawers, cabinets and closets around the house, even though we have a small home, Spring cleaning calls my name.

I just got several books from the library; a few are about decorating and finding space in a smaller home. I am a design and decor book junkie. I love all things interior. My house does not look it though! I have a gazillion ideas running through my head but nothing to show for. So, I have decided that I'm going to finally finish decorating the main part of my house that my husband so amazingly remodeled.

The Finishing Touch has been a great book to thumb through. Obviously, I cannot afford much of the suggested decor, but I can definitely improvise and add my own touch. Be creative with what I have. I did go out and buy a new rug, some candles, and a curtain rod to help me out. I'm trying to lighten up our living room since a smaller home shouldn't have a dark feel. Though amidst the drippy rain it may not feel like it, Spring and Summer are at our doorstep. Time to brighten up!

On another topic, I have been reading StyleClinic. Though I admire great style, my closet does not reflect this, as I've never been disciplined about what I buy. I buy random sale items and too many. I think I dress with some style, but I spend way too much time in front of my closet with my hands on my hips.

I like this quote - "I am against fashion that doesn't last. I cannot accept that you throw your clothes away just because it is Spring." Coco Chanel

Basically, the book has said fashion is different than style. Fashionable clothing is trendy. Fashionable items should be bought cheaply, can be donated or sold when the season is over. However, style is clothing that lasts. Like classic pumps, a white dress shirt or cashmere sweater. When you find something stylish, that suits you, it should be kept until it is worn-out or outdated. These stylish pieces are also what you should spend a more on.

Anyway, if you are concerned about your style, or even a basic wardrobe, give this book a try. If you could give a hoot, then never mind :)

2011-04-12T17:49:00.000-07:00

ONE.

Someone in our family turned one last week, April 5th!

Katie had a simple but wonderful family party 2 Sundays ago. She enjoyed having her first cupcake, opening her first birthday gifts, and playing with her cousins. What more fun could a little not-yet-toddler ask for?

She got hairclips, 2 outfits, a stuffed bear, and only 1 toy. We were SO glad she only received 1! We have too many as it is. We don't buy our kids toys, they get plenty from grandparents and friends, but after a while, they pile up.

Here she is with some gifts:

We love our little munchkin. She is by far our most docile baby. Right now, however, she is going through a phase and she has been a very whiny baby. I put that in emphasis because a whiny baby will drive even a saint to ruins. She has a bad diaper rash (perhaps even a yeast infection), is teething, and is weaning. So, lots to fuss about. But she eats super well and is crawling and cruising everywhere. I personally love the freedom she has now with crawling. Makes cooking dinner and whatnot that much easier.

Lastly, wanted to share with you my little gift to Katie:

The lighting makes the flower yellowish, but it is actually cream-colored. I was so happy to finally make a CUTE flowery hat for my little love.

Lately

2011-03-27T19:19:00.001-07:00

Lately, life has been zooming by and it has been fun!

We recently had a visit with some friends whom we've reconnected with. They moved from Idaho to our area of South Seattle. We shared some yummy muffins (Sweet Chef, you know who you are!), toys, and some talking. Simple and yet restful. Ah. Can't wait until our next visit!

We have finished our taxes. 'Nough said.

A girl friend, accompanied by her loverly daughters (who are the same age a mine), came over for the whole Friday to jump start me on sewing my daughters' Easter dresses. Yes, I decided to go out on a limb. And yes, I am hoping to finish by Easter. The whole reason why I'm sewing them, right? I'm excited as to how they are turning out. Let me just hint that they are an indigo blue with polk-a-dots. Okay, that's enough hinting. *wink*

Two baby showers this weekend. One for little Addie Lou, the youngest of four children. What an amazing brunch feast was presented by our pastor's wife! I think I dreamed of that decadent spread the whole night afterward! And the games were creatively un-boring. A great way to also meet more ladies at our church, seeing we are still "newish". I got teary-eyed at a couple gifts given by the women.

The other baby shower was incredibly relaxing as well! Tiny and blue-eyed baby Elijah. This little man has officially sealed the deal of me hoping for a baby boy in the future! The hosts of the shower made delightful cake pops and other goodies. I had my sugar fill for the weekend. And what a great time catching up with people I have not seen in ages! My eldest came with and I'm so glad I brought her. She has been such a good girl lately and needed to get out a bit.

This weekend, I went to Hammond Ashley on the Eastside and rented a....violin!!!!!!!! I am ecstatic! My old violin is worth beans. It is old, scratchy; and my bow is de-haired without recourse. I have had no motivation to play for the past 6 1/2 years. Isn't that a pity? An elderly lady at our church, discovered that I am a violinist and has gathered an ensemble. All I needed was a violin. Without further ado, I headed to HA to browse. I did not know you could rent to own! Hence, all the money I pay to rent, I can put toward a violin of my own (ahem...they start at only $700-800....) You can imagine all the years of suppressed violin-playing was released in a torrent of notes last night. My daughters loved it; we dance and jigged the night away~

Next up is Katie Girl's 1st birthday party! I can't believe I just wrote that. She is actually turning 1 early next month. AND she started crawling just a few days ago. Hurrah! She is more self-entertained. I have no regrets for this new-found mobility. My older daughter, however, is not so sure how to handle a crawling sister. Now she stores her "untouchables" on a shelf, out of reach. Her food is now perused and pursued. We all wonder when her legs will do the walking. But I am not in a hurry for that, nor will I prevent her.

My daughters are growing up and before I know it, some of my "goals" have not been met. What are my goals? Which are most important?

This is a reminder to me to stop for my hot tea in the morning, pull out my Bible, and just be still before God. Listen to His words. Perhaps I am not hearing Him because I am not opening the ears of my heart? I think it is easy (at least for me) to study the Word, but to spend time in prayer before the Lord Jesus is a whole different story. That takes time! And mind you, my brain wanders during prayer for all the things I have to do that day! But the reason I really want to spend time in prayer is because Jesus, the Son of God, spent time alone in prayer with His Father. If Jesus did this, how much more should I? It does not have to be formulated or even at a certain time of day, but it's a must and it is my biggest priority. To spend time at Jesus' feet. Even more than that, a spirit of prayer throughout the day is part of our spiritual armor, to fight against the spiritual powers of darkness and evil.

Another priority is teaching my children about the Lord. It is a life-long investment. Thankfully, spiritual topics come up all the time. I rarely have to seek them out. But when they do, am I ready with wisdom from above? If I'm not, do I take the time to seek out God's answers with them? I actually enjoy the moments where my oldest daughter asks me thought-provoking questions. They often blow my mind. I'm like "Why didn't I think of that?". In so many ways, our kids often show Jesus to us. Oh, that I would have a soft heart to soak Him up.

Bring Your Earl Grey, Please

2011-03-17T22:29:00.000-07:00

Today was a wonderful day to go visit Grandma Mabel (my husband's grandmother)!

We pack up our tea things...cream, raw sugar, black tea, cookies...because Grandma Mabel loves tea. I also pack up The Farmer's Daughter just in case she wants to watch a little Loretta Young. We get there, look around for Grandma in the little group watching the St. Patrick's Day singers in the entertainment room, but don't see her. Even thought she said she'd meet us. The girls and I troop over to her room to find her all tangled up in her clothing, struggling to get dressed, and slightly confused. She has bouts of short-term memory loss. But she emphatically insists that she wear her dress or "they won't allow her in there". She also wants her hair brushed, and jewelry donned. You know, all the things us ladies typically want done before we walk out the door. As we walk down the hallway she asks me if I mind if she sits by her favorite man (!) Then she gives me her sly little grin and laugh (!) Thankfully, we make it to the room before they are done. Grandma (and my girls) love their sweets, so they do not at all pass up the punch and cake. It's a sweet time and after it is over, we end up watching a little of Farmer's Daughter. Obviously, we are all tired. The girls are fussy and Grandma is sleep in her comfy chair. After she stirs, we make our good-byes, and she insists we take home all the oranges in her frig (that she saves up for months at a time from the dining room). We make our way back to the car. It is only once we are back in the car that I realize I have forgotten to clip her toenails and let her hold Katie like I promised. But again, I think we are all tired and it is time to call it a day.

What a beautiful outing! Grandma is a social bug (she is formerly a pastor's wife), so I know she thoroughly enjoyed showing off the girls to all her acquaintances at the retirement home. And I know she was thrilled to have company at her small place. It's always very relaxing and quiet when we go. I like it. And I always look forward to going back.

These visits make me miss my own Grandmother Louise all the way over in Missouri. How I wish I could jog over a mere 30 minutes in the car to see her. We are so close and yet many miles apart. We talk of many things when we're together, like best friends. A good reminder that I need to call her tomorrow.

When I am old and widowed, I hope my granddaughters come to visit me regularly. I hope they bring their black tea and old videos. And just talk with me. Just because they love me.

2011-03-15T00:08:00.001-07:00

A midnight prayer for my children...

Dear Lord, I have this earnest desire for you alone to meet my children's needs. I say "children" and not "daughters" because we'd like to have more, but You ultimately know what's ahead.

I want my daughters and future little ones to know You deeply. May you be the sole source of their contentment. May you be their Rock in hard times, may you fill every part of their being with Your Love. You are Love, and none else can fill us like You do. There is no material thing or human being I can go to that absolutely satisfies me. Lord, please be that satisfaction for my children.

I want them to bask in Your peace. Even in the midst of troubles, may their soul be at rest. As they grow up, help them to know You alone are faithful. You always hear; You always answer. You never let go of your children. Thank you, Jesus, for holding me in the palm of Your hand. I ask that my children seek to meet Your approval, and that would include a hatred for sin, a dislike for the things Your heart is saddened for. May their paths never seek to meet evil and if evil meets with them, may their hearts be protected. But God, they are human, and if they sin, may they repent, seek Your forgiveness and be brought back to Your side.

I love my girls so much, Lord. It is hard to think You love them even more than that. But it's true. I will fail them from time to time, even in my efforts not to. I give you my children, even the future ones; I dedicate them to You. Just like I had to give you our Amelia, I give them to You and I ask that You do with them what You will. But Lord, may they find You at a young age. And even if they stray and make bad choices, may they come in brokenness, realizing You are the only answer. I would love for them to avoid the mistakes I have made in my life! But I know You have a plan for each of their lives. And you redeem what Satan means for evil. You are goodness, faithfulness, righteousness. You are Holy. There is none like You.

Might they experience Your unfathomable grace, no matter how painful it may be.

Thank you, Lord, for saving me. For washing away the sin in my life; for making me a new creature. Make me an example for my children. Help me to raise them with Your Love and guidance, because it's so hard to do it in my own strength.

Amen.

More Stitches

2011-03-13T21:29:00.000-07:00

Our company taxes are due on Tues, so we have been scrambling around the files like a couple of laymen trying to save money by using TurboTax and not hiring an accountant. :)

But I think we are done. There is always a figurative sigh of relief when taxes are over. And every year we vow we will keep better records next time. Cheers to having a new computer that will help us do just that.

We recently purchased an hp from Costco. We are very glad we did! With a 23" screen, I can see Solitaire from the other side of the room; it's amazing! But seriously, this more stable, dependent computer vastly outdoes the portable laptop, which was unfortunately dropped by me :( It still works (wow) but is snail-pace slow. We will not be fixing it anytime soon, however.

I have been crocheting more. I am excited to have finished two hats and a wool soaker over the past three days. Perhaps I will take pics once I have gifted the items. The wool soaker, heavens to betsy, is HUGE! As I was rounding up row 33, I did notice it was large, but thought, well, it's what the pattern said! But, the pattern also said, you could make it smaller/larger depending on the measurements. Silly me. I didn't think of that. But here is the link for the Zoe Soaker. Keep in mind, you may want to do several rows less. The easy way to measure, is just fold it in half (hamburger-style) and see how it fits before you're finished.

One of the hats is made from black, ultra-soft acrylic yarn. Here is Olivia's Butterfly hat pattern. I made it for a woman, so I made the stitches a bit looser and increased after row 5. This is my favorite design so far. Simple, but vintagely (is that a word?) chic. I've had several requests for this hat already! Katie is my little model :)

The other hat I will have to describe later, as it is for someone who may be a reader :) However, I can say the hat is in Sugar n' Cream cotton yarn, in Denim. Denim being a myriad of light blues. Think I mentioned before that S&C yarn, well, cotton in general, is my fave yarn to work with! I will post pics once I gift it! I am sorry I can't post photos tonight. Since the computer switch, I haven't had time to upload the software for my camera.

I am looking forward to making a couple more hats for friends and yet another gift for a baby boy. Can you tell I am hat crazy? I was just telling my husband last night why I love hats. I am all about finishing, and smaller projects are easy to finish. I also get impatient. I want to try one pattern while I'm still working on another!! Unfortunately for my family, I have discovered a few local yarn shops. And just when they thought that had seen enough yarn!

I do not think I will ever crochet big articles of clothing or big blankets. They take WAY too long and besides, I would rather sew a dress or skirt. However, I don't mind crocheting baby or little girl's clothing. They are small piecework.

Speaking of sewing, I am still at work on a project for a dear friend's baby boy. I am late; he is now 3 months old. I finally received my mother's sewing machine as a gift, but then I had to learn how to use it. Next, I had to find a spot to use it....the only area being either my kitchen table or the nursery; the nursery not being compatible during nap time, and the kitchen not compatible during piano lessons and life in general. Anyway, I finally attempted the finishing touch on this project...and had to tear it out! It was totally crooked! This is my first project solo, so I know I did something wrong. Wish I had a friend (hint, hint, Susi) to come over and give me tips. Anyhow, I ended up back where I started and am gathering the bravery at a second attempt. I just have to calmly remind myself that everyone has to start somewhere.

And now I have this inkling that I'd like to sew the girls' Easter dresses. Dare I try? Goodness' sake, I am having a hard enough time with this simple project. I have simple, but pretty pattern from Making Children's Clothes by Emma Hardy. My wish is to use satin material, but is satin good for beginners? Well, I shall soon find out.

Since I have been in this "cloud" of sorts, of paperwork, semi-normal life begins once again on Monday. Back to ballet, piano lessons and schooling. Ahhh....the comfort of normalcy. Even if it is the daily grind, it is our daily grind :)

Yarns and Such

2011-02-25T14:04:00.000-08:00

I have decided to re-purpose this blog! Or, just add to it. In addition to the random topics I write about, I am turning this into a crochet blog! Complete with pics, patterns and the occasional *wink* mistake, just to remind you that I am still learning.

To make it official, below are some recent projects I've completed:

Do you see a common, ahem, pardon the pun, "thread"? Yes, I am ecstatic about hats! I love trying all new kinds and then the best part, giving them away :) B and K are my sweet models :)

Please excuse the terrible picture of me. But kudos to Brilla for taking a photo of the bobble hat. I think it is cute for kiddos, but will skip wearing out in public on my head!

I am thinking that I very much like working with cotton yarn. Soft and sturdy. Also, the colors are brighter. I worked the pink butterfly cap B is wearing in cotton yarn, Sugar n' Cream. I can't wait to go to a local specialty yarn store and see what they have in stock.

The hat below is in wool, which I prefer for winter. I went hog-wild at a yarn sale they were having at Michaels earlier this week. Most of it was red-tag clearance!!! I am trying some cotton/acrylic. It is soft like cotton, but a tad stretchier. I also wanted to try the tweed blend...and the bamboo...but alas, can't get everything. I will just have to go back. Ha.

The above leggings turned out so well! Except for the strange seam I have going on (because I didn't pull up a loop when I connected). But even the seam can go in the back and they look so cute when B wears them to ballet class.

I am almost finished with my next project...can you guess what it is?

A Life Gone From this Earth

2011-02-21T10:11:00.000-08:00

On February 5th, our friend, Paula Lofgreen, went to be with her Lord Jesus. What a celebration! She had suffered a long road of cancer and is now breathing fresh, clean, heavenly air.

I have been surprised at the emotional roller coaster I have been on since her passing...

For the first few days, I felt this heavy, sad burden that wouldn't leave. Every time I felt it, I would just go to God in prayer, pour my heart out to Him, ask Him to be with Paula's family. It's only natural to feel this way, but at the same time, the feelings have caught me off guard. I didn't expect to feel this way. I can't tell you how many days I've just had to stop and cry, unable to do anything for a while.

Every time I think of Paula's grown daughter (who was a best friend in my teens) and her two children having to go through this loss, my heart lurches for them. The tears come. Imagine having your mom gone at 32. Wow. My mom lost her mother at age 23 and that was extremely hard for her, especially since she didn't have the knowledge of the comfort of the Lord Jesus. But when I empathize with Paula's family's pain, again, I give it to God, because He's the only one who truly knows pain and can truly heal. Then I think of the eldest granddaughter, the same age as Brilla, I can't imagine losing the Mema who used to bake, catch crabs, and just do fun stuff with you all the time.

Every time I think of Cass (Paula's husband) and the Love he has lost until we join Christ on the other side, I think of how empty he probably feels. How he likely experiences peace, pain, and heartache, strength, all simultaneously. Being a widower at 50 is hard. When he gets home, he no longer has Paula to come home to. He will be on a long road of healing.

So, in a way, it's like I'm grieving too. Although our families are not super close as we used to be, all these memories of Paula keep flooding back. Our families used to be like one big family. We did Easter and other holiday dinners together. Neither of our families had relatives in the area, so we took their place. We even had a project where we painted each other's houses. Yeah, crazy. We watched Beethoven at the theater on Christmas together. All the picnics, home school field trips, sleepovers, and such. I find myself digging out old pictures and scrapbooks. The memories just keep flooding their way in...

The biggest anchor has been to pray, but also to remember SHE IS WITH HER SAVIOR. We will see her again! It seems so far away, but it's not really. And instead of suffering with each respiratory attack, she's up There preparing the huge Feast, or whatever special job God has for her. She's worshiping her Almighty God! Praising her Maker! What could be better than that?

Her memorial/celebration service is this Saturday. I am going to bring a handful of tissues because there is no doubt I will cry. Okay, sob.

Too bad you could not have been at this huge party in your honor, Paula. You would have loved having your family and friends all in once place! In some ways, it feels like you could not be gone. That you're still at your house in Steilacoom, laughing, smiling and encouraging others like you always have. In some ways, it's almost like my own mother has gone. Can't wait to see you on that Shore!

2011-02-18T08:45:00.000-08:00

Just saw this at TJ Maxx yesterday. Normally $59 on Amazon, it was $12.99. For your curiosity, it's a Legnoart Cremeux Milk Frother. Isn't it pretty?

Juggling

2011-02-15T15:04:00.000-08:00

I know I only have two kids, so if you have more than that, you will likely find my post below to be shallow and a big whine. But here goes...

I'm having a hard time juggling everything!

With home schooling, bookkeeping, teaching piano, cleaning my house, and running errands, I find that more than one of these gets overlooked until, bam!, it must needs be done right now!

My frig is a disaster, my floor needs to be mopped (mind you, I don't have a huge kitchen to mop, but smaller ones do get dirty faster thus needing to be mopped more frequently), my bathroom is always behind on a scrub (amazingly, I did clean it last week), and dusting rarely gets done (except every time my husband notices it and goes "hmmm...it's kind of dusty in here...").

Also, I have a hard time getting out with other mom-friends and their kids. We have like, one day of the week for freedom, and usually that's spent catching up on things that get let go! I've tried scheduling. Believe me, I am a schedule maniac. But you can't always schedule everything. With kids, things come up unexpectedly.

Don't get me wrong, I like being busy. In fact, I probably asked for it. I seem lost and restless if I'm not preoccupied. But often, it catches up with me and chokes me and I feel stressed.

Do any of you, my dear friends, have keys to managing your time? Any empathy?? :)

2011-02-14T21:08:00.000-08:00

If there is a word that can describe how I've felt lately and am trying to cultivate the feeling more and more, it's thankful.

As I pray for missionaries in Asia and the little ones in India who have next to nothing, my mind cannot help but realize that though I have a little less than last month, it is still so much more than they ever will have. Just goes to show that richness doesn't consist of things, but perhaps spiritual depth.

One of the easiest ways to become disgruntled with what I have is to look around, and as a result of looking around become discontent. Why do I choose discontent over contentment when I can choose the latter? Human tendency. Selfishness. Okay, let's just call it sin!

So. Lately, I've chosen the former, not due to happy thoughts, but how much I have in the Lord. Really, showers of blessings, is more like it. A husband who is faithful, trustworthy, (might I add handsome?), and a great daddy. Two daughters who I strive to raise in God's ways. A church family that challenges and exhorts me. Parents who love Jesus. Friends who pray for and love me. Wow. All this!

And it even applies to things. When I don't have that very shirt that would match my trousers, I just need to get creative. Money doesn't have to be spent to get happiness. I've realized that shopping for me can become an idol! Something that I grab a hold of that quenches the restlessness inside. Something I lean on, even before I reach for my Bible or kneel down in prayer. Thank you, Holy Spirit, for your patience. I want to be a woman who is thankful in all things and content in You.

Another thing. I've realized that I can't change my circumstances. But I can for sure change how I'm going to respond to them. Some challenging words were spoken at our last Bible study lecture. I can wake up in the morning and grumble, or I can wake up and say, "God, thank you for another day to live." Instead of snapping at my husband because my high expectations aren't being met or because I just am grumpy, realize I can choose to control my actions and attitudes and give him grace. Because I've been shown grace. How many opportunities has God had to wake us up from our stubbornness? Sometimes he painfully shows us, but, most of the time, he gently chides. Oh, that I could be more merciful and gracious like my Savior.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

An Update on Real Time :)

We have been focusing on school lately. Brilla is reading!! And loving addition! Her least favorite is Handwriting and poetry/verse memorization. But, I think the teacher needs to do a little tweaking to make it more palatable. Honestly, it feels like I'm the one being home schooled. It's so hard for the parent to be committed to a schedule and follow through. But you know, it's totally rewarding. I'm grateful to be home with my girl to teach her like this.

Brilla's still in ballet and now takes piano lessons. She simply drinks both. In ballet, she's the ahem, wayward student, but we are working on that!! Can you say 'humility' on my part? It's embarrassing to be the parent who's child is acting up. She's taking on more responsibility here at home to improve that and we've seen progress. I think it's also just a part of life.

I am still crocheting my little hands away. I recently completed a hat that I am embarrassed to wear out in public. It has little bobbles all over; it looks like a clown hat! Teehee. Very appropriate for a certain niece of mine who would think it looks cool. Currently, I'm working on a diaper cover for Katie, since I accidentally felted her last one. And now I can post pics since I found my battery charger! Pics to come as soon as I'm done.

I'm also going to learn to *whispering* knit. Mind you, I'm still learning to sew. So, who knows when I really will get to knitting. I have high aspirations for myself. My husband, bless his heart, wishes I'd put down my crochet hooks once in a while and just read next to him or something!

Mike is currently low on work, which is a prayer request. Instead of worrying, however, I know God will provide. Meanwhile, we've been tightening the belt buckle, so to speak.

I'm still teaching piano, just recently started up some beginners. They are cuties! So ready to learn and so excited to hear themselves play :) I've been trying to make it more fun, less boring. I've always had great teachers who motivated their students well. You never know when a student will want to be a teacher someday!

I've also felt the need to do some body toning, so I've rented a few exercise videos. Ever since quitting my membership at the gym, I realize there's a little "extra" hanging around. The morning are best! Can't wait until Spring/Summer to get outside more. Oh, sun, come quickly!

What did you all do for Valentine's Day? Mike took me out to a Grill on the Eastside which was delicious. No kids for an evening is always nice. And tonight as a family we went to Fat Burger, using a coupon we had! So fun! Mike also brought home a beautiful bouquet of flowers that currently sits on the living room side table. Flowers are beautiful, they remind me of life, especially life after this life! Mike also got us a Sees candies certificate, so we're going to go pick out chocolates some time this week. Wow, I've had so much sugar lately, I believe my immune system is way down, and probably the reason my throat is scratchy. Think I'm catching my youngest's cold :( Also, today, we attended a most elegant Valentine party. Thanks Susi. It was a blast to hang out, even though it was slightly crazy with kids. But food was wonderful and the treats were ohsogood!

This post has become extremely long and doubt most of you will have time to read. Hopefully, on this day celebrating love you will remember that Jesus loves you SO much. We don't have to better ourselves before coming to Him. We just need to come to Him with humble hearts, wanting to turn, repent from our ways, conform to His. Then His Spirit does the changing!

Review

2011-01-25T09:07:00.000-08:00

It occurred to me I had not given my review of 2010. Here it is straight from my journal, originally written on the first day of this year, 2011:

As I look back on 2010, I see a FULL year that flew by. Seriously. Where did it go? God has been good to us. I don't mean things have always been dandy. But God has been faithful and with us through every moment of 2010.

He was with us when I struggled with Bible Study Fellowship leadership...it was so hard being pregnant, juggling all the responsibility....the added struggle of not turning my time with God into a legalistic thing that stole my joy away. He was with us when I gave birth to Katie Claire, all 8 lbs of her! And God knew I wanted my Grandma there to see her 2 great- granddaughters, and to my surprise, He arranged it so she could. He truly knows the deep desire of our hearts. God is good because my dad turned 50; he and mom have been married for 30 years! God is good because even though business was down He still provided for our needs, above and beyond. Helped us to save, too. We have a roof over our heads, nice clothes on our backs, food to eat, cars to drive. I could go on & on. God has been faithful when we were able to afford a remodel and complete it; when Brilla turned 4; when I remembered our Amelia on September 24th. How deep the pain used to be; God does heal, His love and promises are yet deeper! We rejoice to see her again some day. God's goodness was again seen in providing a record-breaking amount of work during the fall and winter seasons, allowing us to go to Disney World. Our first family vacation in about 2 years. God has been good in bringing Brilla to know Jesus as Savior; finding a solid church; making new friends; growing us in our marriage; finding freedom from the sin of anger; Bible Study Fellowship for both my girls and I; homeschooling Brilla; allowing me to keep up with paperwork for the company. Thank you Jesus, you are the Rock that never changes; never ages!

Some lessons learned:

1) When things aren't right between Michael and I, take the time to talk and reconcile.

2) I'm only as good a parent as I am a wife, and only as good a wife as I am a Christian.

3) Be patient with Brilla.

4) I can have freedom from anger.

5) With the same judgment I give to others, I'll be judged! Do no judge/criticize others; pray for them instead. When praying, I can't help but love.

6) Spend time with God every day.

7) Death is a part of life. Heaven in sooner than we think. People we know and love will die, but don't be sad or anxious. Realize it won't always be this way; God will restore!

8) Cherish the times with my children. They grow quickly.

Multi-tasking

2011-01-18T19:39:00.000-08:00

Short post but had to record this...

Mike said he brought some water to bed last night, then put the glass on the floor next to it. Next thing he knows, I awake and say, "Don't leave that glass on the floor." Dumfounded by my abilities, he asks, "Why?" Just to see if I really am that talented while half asleep. I answer, "Because you could get cut." I promptly return to Dreamland, never missing a beat.

And I don't remember a thing! :-)

Ha! Take that! I even multi-task in my sleep!

A Little Bit of This and a Little Bit of That

2011-01-14T23:52:00.001-08:00

(the above post title said in the tone of Inspector Clouseau)

Yes, I got a new look! Shabby Blogs has the cutest background choices :)

I got the ambition to change it all up at 11 o'clock at night. Isn't that how it always happens?

Anyway, the new background kind of sums up what I'm really interested in right now...sewing and crafting. I'm not that much a scrapbook/card-making kind of girl anymore (when I was single) as much as I am a homemade blanket or crocheted leg warmers kind of girl *wink* Or at least I'm getting there. So many patterns, so much material, so much yarn out there! Who can resist?

I have to watch out, though. I've learned from the past that I can get easily interested in something and get just as quickly disinterested. Thus, I've been delving in slowly. Making sure, after a few months, that I'm still interested in "whatever it is". Thankfully, I'm still enthralled with sewing, crocheting and cloth diapering as I was months ago.

When I was a girl, I made my first little pot holder. But my little hands and mind couldn't go past that. At the time, I was thoroughly involved in sports...having absolutely NO patience for any of it. I think as an adult there are some areas you mature in, task you develop patience for. Crocheting is one of the many!

My husband find it quite amusing. But his latest query to me is where we are going to put the sewing machine my mother is giving me (so she can buy a new one). I'm at a loss myself where to store it, but one thing for sure, it's coming to live with us!! My mom has graciously offered to service and oil the machine, for which I am grateful.

I'm so excited about buying new furniture. I love a good piece. I used to really like IKEA (okay I still do, don't get me wrong), but you have to admit, their furniture is cheap. ANYWAY, my husband has helped me to see it actually pays in the long run to get a good quality piece. Thus, my addiction to craigslist. And we have just recently acquired a gorgeous, espresso-colored buffet/dresser/tv console sort of piece that I will have to post pics of, if I can find my camera cord. Then, tonight at Costco, we found the exact computer table/side table we have been searching for! It was the last one, too. Score.

Next up, we need to purchase a new printer. Sadly, ours gave up the ghost the other night. We are looking at a laser, either hp or Brother. Anyone have any recommendations? We know the toners are more expensive than ink cartridges, but you don't have to change them nearly as often. Mike likes the printing speed better as well. I would greatly appreciate any input.

We also need a new desktop. Not a very easy task to up and buy one. Truth is, our hearty computer consists of a small, but mighty (!), Dell laptop. It has proved itself faithful and true. It's 5 year-old frame is wearing thin and we need something a little less portable and indestructible. What I really want is an iMac. I know, big dreams. And I almost feel like I need to whisper-type that because I know my husband wants just another Dell, or hp. And I didn't need to notice as I walked in for my chiropractor appointment that the entire office had just revamped their computer system with....iMacs!!! Of course, I asked all kinds of questions.

Then I texted Mike to let him know. :P

No, no. Honestly, I am very easily pleased and would be grateful for anything! I just want it to be better than a laptop!

I need to hit the sack. I should have been in bed, what?, an hour ago!

Cheers to the New Year 2011. 'Tis been a grand one so far!

2010-12-28T13:50:00.000-08:00

Just signed up my daughter for ballet. She is THE happiest girl on the planet right now. Spinning and twirling around the house. We just went to Target and bought her a leotard and tights. Then we headed to the consignment store and got her another cute leotard (complete with skirt) and shoes for about 1/3 the price at the regular store. Yep, just checked. She's still twirling :)

Katie has finally decided to be interested in regular food. Pureed doesn't do it for her, I guess! So her diet the past couple days has been rice, banana, corn, and squash. We're headed to the store to buy some more things like avocado, whole milk yogurt, and perhaps some organic teething biscuits. It's also much easier to feed her since I assembled the high chair! We've had this thing before Brilla was born. But we also received one of those chairs that goes in a regular chair, so we used that for Brilla instead. Now we have this snazzy new high chair that I have to clean up, ha! Actually, it's not that hard. It has wheels, too, so I can move it around the best spot by the table. She loves being part of the family at the dinner family. Too cute!

I just received a NALA (National Association of Legal Assistants) letter. I am a certified legal assistant (paralegal) and have been for about 3 years plus. However, in order to maintain my certification, I have to take continuing education courses. I don't mind the courses. They are very fun and pick my brain. Plus, they are online now. But they cost money! And lots of it. About $75 per course. Anyway, the letter was letting me know they are extending my certification for another year (was going to expire 1/31/10). Now I have to decide if I want to keep it! Truth is, we plan to have more children, so I will not be working outside the home (Lord willing) for quite a while. And I have never used my certification. For about 2 years before kids I looked for an open position, but none were available. I'm very much tempted just to let my paralegal status expire. But 'tis sad, seeing all the work I have put into the past (especially in law school) be gone with the wind. Hmm. Any opinions?

I am loving this break week after Christmas. No Bible study. No piano lessons. No big commitments whatsoever! We have been playing with new toys (okay the kids have), crocheting ( I have), watching our new DVDs, making dinner, and just enjoying time together. Wish this could go on forever!

If I don't post sooner, Happy New Year to you and yours! And maybe I'll get a new background and play list for 2011!!

Christmas Over? Not Really!

2010-12-27T21:57:00.000-08:00

Christmas is over! I still don't want to take down the Christmas tree, nativity and lights. Let's keep them up for another week!

We had a delightful Christmas. Exhausting, but delightful.

Christmas Eve was at my mother-in-law's. This is the night we all open gifts, so we hauled ours in and placed them with all the others under the tree. We had a scrumptous dinner, complete with prime rib. My mom makes the best. Boy did the kids get it good this Christmas! Brilla had more gifts this year than usual. I went a little crazy. Really, I didn't spend much money, but throughout the year, I kept piling stuff up. So her favorite thing was the dress-up stash. She has been in oddly sized dresses ever since Christmas! Can't get enough of being a princess or a ballerina.

Little Katie received some sweet things too, but her best part was being snuggled and cuddled by her fans all weekend. No alone time whatsoever...a baby's dream! Of course, we are paying for that now. The late nights (getting home at 12:30) didn't help either. This little darling is catching up on a bunch of winks. Tonight she feel sleep in my arms at 8:00 p.m. That never happens!

On Christmas Day, we all gathered at my sister-in-law's home. She had it beautifully decorated.

We stuffed our tummies with my caramel pecan sticky buns, Scotch shortbread and other goodies. We also had the best salmon made by my s-i-l.

The gifts I received this Christmas were perfect. A huge puffy white coat with fur-lined hood from my husband, a new 2011 planner and Hello Kitty pjs from my parents and bros, a new phone (free!) to myself, and a myriad of little things from friends and family.

You know, I actually have more fun giving gifts than receiving them. Sure, I really do enjoy the surprise of the gifts. But I love, love giving exactly the right thing to the right person. This year I really invested some time because because I crocheted many of the gifts...some scrubbies for my mom, soaker for Katie, hat for Brilla, hat & scarf for a girl friend, and an afghan for my grandma-in-law.

The Christmas celebration was delightful. And as I reminisce about the last few days, recovering from the holiday, I think of the phrase "...and man shall live forevermore because of Christmas Day". Praise Jesus!! He came as a human babe, who later died on the cross and rose again, so that we too could have life. And have it abundantly! We will live forever with Him in Heaven! Hallelujah!

So Christmas isn't over...not really!

Full of Thanks and Beyond

2010-11-29T14:15:00.000-08:00

It has been so long since I posted last! I have been incredibly bad at writing regularly. I'm going to change that.

We've had a thrilling even happen over here. Brilla trusted Jesus as her Savior the Tuesday before Thanksgiving! We were both in the kitchen, I was washing dishes, and she started telling me different things about Jesus, etc., like she always does. But then it changed. She earnestly was telling me what she believed about Jesus.

"Mama, I believe that Jesus is the Son of God. I believe that He died on the cross for my sins and that He came alive again."

"What about your sins Brilla? What about them?"

"Sometimes I ask Jesus to forgive me for my bad sins in bed. Jesus took them away from me on the cross!"

We then delved into a conversation because I wanted to know if she sincerely believed all these truths she was spouting. How do you really know if your 4 yr old is genuinely interested in being saved? Is it just a fun thing to impress Mommy with all this knowledge? All these questions were running through my brain. I didn't want to force my daughter, but I didn't want to bypass a very important moment. As I sent a quick prayer to God about what to do, the Holy Spirit gave me His peace. He led me to pray with Brilla. She confessed her sins to Jesus and asked Him into her life. It was awesome. Then, she excitedly babbled to her infant sister, "Katie, I asked Jesus to forgive me and He gave me a new heart."

As each day passes, I see further evidence that Brilla's belief in Jesus is real and genuine. She keeps asking probing questions about Heaven and hell. And without a doubt knows she's going to Heaven. Yes, she's 4 and has a long road to maturity in the Lord, but don't we all? She will have seasons of her faith. Even to the point of depression and discouraged and immaturity at times. I've even gone through that. I have prayed for my daughter almost every night that she would come to know Jesus at a young age, and she has. I'm thankful, but I know the prayers don't stop here. In fact, they have just begun.

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I can't tell you how good it feels to be back on schedule again. With the snow and holiday giving us a good two weeks off, I have been spoiled with Mike home helping with the girls and chores around the house. He's even started changing cloth diapers! He even cooked green bean casserole! (I know that's the easiest thing in the world to make, but hey, that's a huge step for my husband :)) Needless to say, I was hesitant to get back to real life on Monday. On the contrary, I have loved every bit! I was able to get to the gym, we did school work AND we even cleaned up the house. Monday is always a catch-all day, but I'm thankful for a healthy body to get things done. Did I mention that I was sick for a WHOLE week before Thanksgiving? My fever/migraine/flu lasted from the minute we got home from Disney World to the next Wed/Thurs. I've never had a bug like that before and am very thankful it's gone.

Now that Thanksgiving is over, let the Christmas festivities begin! We are looking forward to our Christmas tree hunt this Saturday, as well as a Christmas party the same weekend. Then we have our company Christmas party the following weekend. Meanwhile, I am crocheting many gifts this year, so my fingers have been flying! I'd like to post some of my work once I'm done. One of my projects I hope to finish soon is an afghan for my grandma-in-law and a soaker (diaper cover) for my daughter.

Toodles!

It's Been Forever!

2010-10-06T22:26:00.001-07:00

Did you miss me?

My last post was close to before Amelia's birthday. We had a wonderful day/weekend remembering her. I cannot explain the utter peace and rejoicing in my heart I felt during that time. It was honestly a happy occasion, not coated in sorrow as the last two years.

I received the sweetest card from a close friend letting me know her prayers and thoughts were with me on that day. You can't believe how much that meant! My husband was very sick then, so just the girls and I went to church on Sunday. I was tempted not to go...but you know, it's amazing how God works, because the sermon was EXACTLY what I needed to hear. It was about Heaven and all the amazing things we have to look forward to. Laster, we went to the cemetery with a dozen roses, sang a hymn, and said a prayer. It was beautiful. Once again, we saw Mt. Ranier from her spot, clear as anything. Thank you, Lord, for gorgeous weather.

It's kind of a strange feeling. Like Amelia went to be with Jesus so long ago. It's only been two years. Yet, other times, when I walk down memory lane, the feelings are fresh as if they just happened.

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Today was a sunny, crisp Fall day. I didn't have any students, so a walk seemed perfect. I wrapped K in the Moby, B packed her babies in the wagon and we headed down the street to the playground. If I had been all by myself, I would have taken a lot longer stroll, but I could tell my tired-out daughter wasn't ready for a 2-mile walk. Once we got to the playground, B wasn't the least bit interested in playing....she wanted to study states (the school has a US map on their playground)!! Seriously, my kindergartner, spent 20 min asking me all the states, just soaking in all the different names, where they were, which relatives lived where, and what was popular in each one.

But this is my girl! She is a thinker. I have a feeling she's going to be quite intellectual when she grows up. At home, she never wants to watch TV, only home videos. I'm usually the one who asks if she wants to watch something. And if she does, she lasts about 5 minutes before she has a project in mind. She loves to help. In fact, I had her mopping the floor the other day! She was totally focused. Spent 30 minutes on it, without a peep. And when I cook in the kitchen, she is at my side with a stool. I want to hang on to these moments! Truth is, she's a huge help. Especially with K. Dashing here and there to get me things. She even wants to start changing diapers. I'm giving that one some thought yet :) Her favorite things are to sing to and play with Katie. And she kisses her sister all the time. Seriously. At her bday party, in between each gift, she had to go and kiss Katie. Hilarious! She also loves school. Especially Math. She's rather do Math and Art than Handwriting any day.

I probably sound like the annoying Mom boasting with pride. Believe me, we definitely butt heads, and I mean, we have some major clashes (we're two of a kind -wonder who planned that?!). We are both learning character and that is healthy. But I'm just so thankful for who my daughter is growing to become! And I also love her just because she's mine :)

As for Katie, she's 6 months if you can believe it. She's already starting to sit up long periods all by herself. Her other new thing is holding on to her toes during diaper change time. My heart just melts at her beautiful smile. And my youngest is a chubby one!! I will be sad when she thins out! She has blue eyes (still) and very auburnish hair. I'm still holding out for red! No teeth or sign of crawling yet. Really, I don't mind. We are going to start real food here pretty soon though. Katie, as opposed to Brilla, loves the TV and computer. This girl is glued. She lives in her exersaucer, on her tummy and sitting up on the couch.

Did I ever share that I'm currently addicted to cloth diapering? I am. I don't really know how it happened, but all of a sudden, I watch ebay and craiglist for cute dipes. I now know words like organic bamboo velour, snappiable, and soaker. Most of my extra money goes to cute cloth coverings for my daughter's behind! I know, it's crazy. But true. And very, very cute!!

Next post I will have to delve further into the topic and even post some pics of my stylin' diapers. Woohoo!

Heavy Heart

2010-09-13T21:25:00.001-07:00

My heart's heavy tonight. I just found out about a couple splitting up because the husband was having an affair. I'm so sad and my heart aches for their children. How do you tell a child Daddy doesn't love Mommy anymore? Although I know God hates divorce, He never intended it...God hates unfaithfulness and he doesn't intent it either. Life is so broken.

Someday Brilla is going to want some answers on why this happens. While growing up, I underwent the fear of my parents getting divorced. Thank God, however, they have stayed together for 30 years, especially when all odds were against them. Fortunately, my husband's parents, when he was younger, promised and assured he and his siblings that they were not getting a divorce and would always be married. A promise which they have kept to this day. Do you know how reassuring that is to a child growing up in a world full of unbroken promises?

My husband and I have made the same promise to our daughter. By God's grace, not our own strength, we'll stick together through this life's ups and downs.

Hum-De-Dum...An Update

2010-08-22T23:15:00.001-07:00

Right now, I'm listening to the laundry dry. One of the most pleasant sounds ever. It means I will have clean clothes to wear tomorrow, and also...it means there has been productivity today. Mike and I are relaxing on the couch, enjoying the TV and computer. Of course, the girls have been put to the bed. Ah. The ideal end to a Sunday before the busy week begins.

The girls have been sick these last few days. I think sleep, good food and water have been the key to nurse them back to health...and time. Colds just have to bide their time. Hopefully Brilla will get past it soon! It has made her an Oscar-the-Grouch! I feel like I have been on her like socks! Did anyone call this the Terrible Threes/Fours? Because this is my reality. By God's grace and through prayer, I'm getting through it. But goodness gracious, is it ever taxing. I think I need to review Dobson's The Strong Willed Child.

We have been loving the weather here in the Pacific Northwest! Last week was VERY hot. And the weekend cooled off a bit. I was able to head up to North Seattle and buy some CUTE cloth diapers off craigslist. They are Preston's Pants and Pot Bellied Pig Designs diapers. The PP is an All-in-one, and the PBPDs are minkys. For only $38! If you're into cloth diapering, you'll recognize that as a steal :) I have discovered that I love the snap diapers. I have some BumGenius that velcro and I like them too, but I think snaps are my favorites.

My nieces and nephews spent the night last night. Yep, five kids for the weekend! It truly was fun. We even got to church on time this morning! We've only done this once before (last year) and it was definitely time to do it again. We wanted to have them over more this summer, but between having Katie and remodeling our home, it just didn't happen. So after church, we all went to Costco for lunch, then home for beloved nap time!! Then we walked to the park and played, played, played. Then came home for another meal, ending the night with ice cream at McDonald's. They had a blast. Even in our small home (their home is huge) :) And really, it's not what you do, where you do it, but who you're with...and we were in great company.

It is refreshing to look forward to church every week. Not that we didn't at our old one, but we're just glad that we found a new church we love so much. The people are wonderful, so caring, but what Mike and I really soak up is the teaching. The digging deep kind of expository preaching. In Sunday School, we are currently studying Escotology, Revelation. Our pastor is pre-millineum, which we are as well. There are some in the congregation who are a-mil, even post-mil, which mixes it up a bit. But he encourages questions and promotes unity despite these non-core differences in where we stand. Today's message was quite sobering, getting us to think on what makes up a true disciple. Honestly, it was assuring to me. I might not be a perfect Christian (are there any? LOL), but I am persevering on the Road. I love what he said today. "For the true believer, there is no other option besides Christ." The message, on the flip-side was also sobering for those who are false-disciples. A challenge to evaluate our spiritual life....is it genuine or fake?

There were a whole slew of other thoughts but they would take up a few pages :)

I cannot believe Fall is almost here, wherein lies the rebirth of all things scheduled. Piano lessons, Bible Study, Swimming/Ballet lessons, church activities, and Homeschooling. The last one is the biggie. I'm not totally ready yet. Thank goodness I only have one to school. Poor Brilla; she will be the experiment. Good thing she is resilient. But I really am anticipating this adventure!

My brother is back in Florida. I already miss him, but at least I got to spend a good chunk of time while he was here. That road trip will hold memories. Now my youngest bro Sean is home. We are hoping to get a boat trip in. Perhaps a cruise on Lake Washington is in order :)

As I look at the clock, it has ticked to 11:46. My husband has just crawled into bed, and I had better do so as well. Nighty, night. This wasn't much of an update, but it was all I could muster this late Sunday evening.

See you again on the pages of the blog-sphere another time soon!

A Little Prayer

2010-08-11T21:21:00.001-07:00

Saying a prayer for the Wood Family...

Dear Lord,

Please be with my hurting friends. They are in need of deep compassion and love and strength. Holy Spirit, be their Comforter. Equip them with your power, even in the midst of tragedy. May the Evil One not be allowed to touch their minds with regret, guilt, depression, anger or bitterness. But may they trade it in for joy, peace, love and faith. As they need comfort, may they find it in Your promises. You said that if we wait on You, You will strengthen our heart. Lord, you are continually with us. You never leave us. You guide us with your very right hand.

May Rachel's life be a testimony to all, both those who know You and those who don't. May they realize their days are numbered. God could call any one of us at any time. He doesn't like death, but it comes with the whole package of sin and a broken relationship with the Creator. God, redeem others through Rachel's death. May her death bring Your testimony of Life to others. We thank you that Rachel loved you, Jesus. She loved you so much, she was willing to go on a missions trip to care for orphans and shine Your light. Thank you that she got to touch those lives in Your name before You called her. Thank you, Lord, that Rachel never saw death. She only suffered for a little while. But then the light came and she now is rejoicing! She is at your feet worshiping You. We are a bit jealous because she is in Your presence now, enveloped in Your glory. Oh, that we would be patient until it's our turn.

I pray for Mr. and Mrs. Wood. It's so hard to lose a child, your own flesh and blood, whose life has been shortened. You can relate, Father. You gave your only Son. He died on the cross and You had to abandon Him to human death in order that all might be fulfilled. You had to watch Him suffer. The temptation is for Norma and Roy is to wish they could have protected her, taken her suffering, prevented the pain. But God, You were with her, and that is sufficient. You took her from her temporary shell and have given her a beautiful, new body. The same power that raised Christ from the dead dwells in Rachel, and also dwells in all believers.

I pray for Julie. Oh, so hard to take this burden as the oldest, first-born daughter! I don't like my dear friend to suffer so much pain and heartache. I wish I could bear it for her. There is such a burden, a feeling that you must be strong for the rest of the siblings. But God, help her to grieve in the way that she needs, to get it all out. Pick up the broken pieces of her heart and gently bind them, however long it takes. May she come to know You in a deeper way because of her sister's death. The death of a loved one, though unwanted at the time, results in a greater understanding and knowledge of pain and suffering in this world. You knew Julie would have to experience this God. Be her Rock, her Anchor amidst this terrible flood.

Please comfort the entire Wood family. Bring them to places of quietness and peace, places where they can reflect on death, eternity, life, pain and then...Lord, may You eventually bring them to the place of joy. May they experience laughter again. But please help them to know it's okay to go from sorrow to tears and back again.

In Your Name,

Amen

The Loss of A Dear Sister

2010-08-10T09:50:00.001-07:00

I am so saddened by the recent news that my best friend, Julie, has lost her younger sister, Rachel. She went home to be with Jesus last Wednesday, after drowning in a terrible accident. She was only 23 and had just recently come back from a missions trip to Mexico.

Even though she's not a part of my family, she is a part of the family of Christ, and a dear sister to my very close friend. The day I found out (which was 2 days later than when she actually left us because I was on vacation and didn't see the posts on facebook) I sobbed and sobbed. I am still in shock that she is gone. She was such a sweet, quiet, but strong girl. She loved Jesus, loved her family. I am incredibly heartbroken.

Seems she and her younger siblings were swimming in Horshoe Lake, when their legs got tangled up in milfoil. Here is the story and videos: http://www.kxly.com/news/24519439/detail.html & http://www.krem.com/news/local/Milfoil-may-have-tangled-swimmer-who-drowned-in-Horseshoe-Lake--100079989.html

It doesn't seem fair that that is the end of her life. Period. I wish there was a different ending to the whole story. But there isn't, and God is not surprised by her death. In fact, she is having an incredibly much better life in heaven with her Savior! She is in the presence of Almighty God, surrounded imminently by His love and His glory. At times, I wish I could be there, too. I wish I could see what all our loved ones who've gone before are doing up there.

Really, the sadness isn't that she's in Heaven, it's that she's not with is here on earth. We are finite beings and our hearts are so heavy beyond expression when a loved one goes before us. It's hard to see the eternal perspective, the reason why she had to go. One day all of our questions will be answered.

As for me, I can go on with my life. Laugh with my husband and children, and sleep well at night. But as for my dear friend Julie and her family, they will not sleep well. They will wake up in the middle of the night, remembering their sweet Rachel is gone. And they will weep. Wishing they could say good-bye a last time, replaying her last minutes in their minds, wishing they could have saved her, wishing to see her smile again. Having to pack her things, find a casket and do all those terrible, necessary details that no one should have to do when faced with utter heartbreak.

Please pray for the Wood family. They have been celebrating Rachel's life because she is not dead, but alive. Still, they are only human and will need the comforting, incessant prayers of fellow believers.

Rachel, you are truly loved and missed! No one ever thought you would go this soon. We will see you on That Shore someday soon!

2010-07-29T23:34:00.000-07:00

Yay!!!!!

Our house is almost back to normal! I am in love with our "new" little home. It looks beautiful and I'm so thankful for the work all the guys have done. There has been a lull in work for the company (lull as in tons of projects coming up, just not any scheduled right now), so the timing with that AND the weather have been perfect. I am now sitting on the floor with my head against the couch looking at the newly painted living room, complete with a rich-coloured mantel headpiece. Wow, what a drastic change. I will post photos soon! I cannot wait to invite my girl friends over for tea and treats :)

Lots has been going on. Mostly just the remodeling, trying to keep the girls on somewhat of a schedule amidst being here and there to stay out of the way, and having summer fun at various spots around town. This gorgeous weather has been a godsend. I mean, better soak it up because it could be Fall next week! We're talking the Pacific Northwest here. I've enjoyed wearing shorts and tanks for a change. Of course, I've enjoyed taking out Katie's little cutesie outfits, too. Her little dimpled legs are to die for. I was looking for her swimsuit the other day and found it with the "cover up" someone gave as a shower gift. It's the most darling thing. I got a chuckle out of that one, though! Like what's she gonna cover up??

I've been watering my flowers lately. I know, that hould be a big given, but you have to understand, I am soooooo bad at watering. My husband keeps getting on me about it. I mean, for Pete's sake, all I've got are petunias, impatiens and geraniums. Some day I hope to have a whole garden full of both flowers AND vegetables/fruit.

:::Sigh::: Some day.

This last week I've done a lot of cleaning my house up (woohoo). Trying to normalize the mess amidst the piles. I felt triumphant this week just vacuuming and doing the dishes. If this sounds real exciting to you, just wait until I get to the good part.

I've also gone on a clothes shopping hiatus. You heard me right. I'm a shop-a-holic. I admit it. If you've ever watched Confessions of a Shop-a-holic, I am so the main character. I feel that thrill of being on the hunt and buying a cute something. And when I get tired of shopping for one thing, I focus on my attention on something else I might need. The only difference is - I don't spend near the amount of moolah for single items as she does, nor am I addicted to shopping at storefronts for high end labels. But, that doesn't matter! It's still an addiction and I'm trying to crack it. Because shopping, then getting rid of stuff (or even donating), shopping then getting rid of stuff, the unending cycle, is a huge waste. Perhaps soon I may even do a one-month challenge of no shopping. Hum. I'll think about that one, long and hard. Any one want to join me?

Don't know about you, but I'm missing Fall/Winter TV episodes, like The Good Wife, The Mentalist, Castle. I've been appeasing myself with reruns and Law and Order.

Welp, I'd better go to bed now or else I'm bound to rattle on and on about absolutely nothing. Either that, or everything random in my life. I'm that tired.

Good night.

Lots Going On

2010-07-21T20:13:00.001-07:00

My house is a wreck. Except for the nice little spots where I've been able to make it look semi-clean so I can pretend all is normal :)

We got our new windows! They are beautiful and wonderful. Nothing like being able to air out my house with nice screens - no bugs flying in and out saying, "Thank you!" Though I love these new windows, I did not realize how much work it was going to take; and what a toll is would take on our schedules (as in my kids' schedules!). But I am SO THANKFUL for the work being done. It has been a long time in coming. Muchly needed.

We must have been bitten by the remodeling bug, because not only are we replacing the windows, but we're also - adding new trim, inside AND out; replacing drywall after having found dry rot; installing new front door; took down the faux wood paneling on our living room wall to be replaced by a regular, newly painted wall and new fireplace mounting!; painting rooms with fresh color. And in the midst of all this, we're installing a new dishwasher. It was supposed to be a quick job (the dishwasher), but complications have turned it into a 3-day chore! Thirdly, my husband is going to the county this week to see if he can get the our addition plan okayed. We're hoping to add on to the back of our house this summer as well.

Whew!

I mentioned the kids' schedules...

We've had to be out of the house quite a few days because the girls can't nap or be around the busyness of tools and dust. My mother-in-law has been so gracious in letting us nap and hang at her house. In fact, as I'm sitting here writing this, my husband has just informed me that us girls need to be out of the house by 7am tomorrow!! I feel like a homeless urchin! I'm just being dramatic. Of course we have plenty of places to go.

Tonight I had a most relaxing deep tissue massage. So much so, I fell sleep during my session. Massages always do that to me. They are so cathartic, especially after a long day of running around. It's a good thing I had that hour or relaxation because I came home to a squawking baby. Daddy was unable to feed her milk via the bottle because the nipple was too big. Thus, I came home to a poor little baby girl with huge tears and a sweating Daddy. Mama to the rescue once again.

Dinner was healthy and yummy tonight. Grilled cod with organic green beans and brown rice. I could eat seafood every day and not tire of it. We had plenty of rice left, so looks like fried rice tomorrow.

I have lost 5 lbs in the last 3 weeks. Not bad, but not meeting my goal, either. I was going for 2 lbs/week. But I have to be realistic. Losing weight while nursing is extremely difficult. I just need to exercise every day and continue to count my calories (enough as a nursing mom). I'm also making sure they count. My personal motto has been "fuel it, don't fill it". I've been eating a ton of yogurt, hummus, eggs, fish, high fiber cereal, peanut butter, Kashi GoLean granola bars, Odwalla smoothies, string cheese, almonds, walnuts, all kinds of fruit, and every kind of low fat, high protein, high fiber food I can think of. For dessert, I allow myself a 1/2 cup of ice cream, chocolate-covered almonds, pb toast with honey/jam, yogurt with berries, or a Yoplait smoothie. Last night I made a huge mistake of having a McD's hot fudge sundae. It's 320 calories. I assumed since the reduced-fat vanilla cone was only 150 calories, that the sundae wouldn't be much more. Wrong! The fudge brings mucho calories to the table.

Did I mention my husband and I are competing? We are seeing who can lose the most percentage of weight by our anniversary, August 28th. I'm so proud of him. He's lost a good amount already. He's a Coke guy, and he's had only a couple drinks of soda since we started this thing (almost done with week 4!). He's not even touched baked goods (except for July 4th). Baked stuff is our weakness, but we've not touched any.

I've had such a busy time lately caring for my girls, juggling our whereabouts. However, I've still been able to spend time in Our Daily Bread for my devotions. I didn't continue Believing God, but instead, have delved deep into the audio version of So Long Insecurity by Beth Moore. It has been an eye-opening journey. God's revealed so much to me I didn't realize before. Praise God that he doesn't leave us in our comfort zone, but conforms us constantly to His image. We just have to willing vessels!

On My Children

2010-07-12T00:06:00.001-07:00

I don't want to forget my stillborn daughter, Amelia.

But days go by, weeks even, where I am so busy I don't think of her. Sometimes I feel horrible for it because I remember back when the pain was so fresh, when minutes would not go by where the deep hole in my heart ached and ached and ached.

I was thinking of her tonight and decided to see the pictures of her delivery again. Her tiny toes and hands, her little body in our hands. Even now I can't stop the tears. Still, the question remains in my heart, why did she have to go, God? Why so far along in the womb, when she had already become a part of my hopes and dreams? Why did our farewell have to be so sudden (maybe it was better that way)?

I'll never know the answers to any of my questions. One thing I can always rely on is that God is the same God who never changes. My world, life, and events around me are forever shifting, but not my God. What a comfort. Knowing I can go to the Rock that I can cling to when I am sad and need a bit of comfort and peace.

Little Katie is just over 3 months...her 3 month mark was June 5th. Already she's fitting her 3-6 mos clothes. And she's getting SO darn cute. She has the prettiest smiles and bright blue eyes. She also nuzzles me and gives me these slobbery open-mouth kisses. Wouldn't trade 'em for anything. How thoughtful of God to shock me with the news that I was having another baby girl, Katie Claire. I remember the day we found out she was a girl. I was pretty set that we would be having a boy since I'd already had 2 girls, and figured my miscarriage after Amelia was likely a boy. But was a glad to be wrong!! Katie will never take the place of Amelia, but her live birth was like a soothing balm to my chafed mama heart. I love this dear girl.

Brilla is still 3. I feel like she's been 3 forever. She's got these beautiful gangly arms and legs. Everyone thinks she's older because of them. My first born is such a smart little cookie that

I have to remind myself she's not older. Often I think I try to put too much expectation on her head. I find myself struggling to keep her busy these days. Now that Katie is on only five feedings a day, I think I can spend more time with B...doing crafts, some schoolwork maybe, perhaps painting our toes again :) Brilla is my right hand. Every time I go to do something like buckle Katie in, or tuck her blanket around her toes, Brilla has already done it. She's a little mama, always thinking of her little sister and being such a huge help. Honestly, I've never detected any animosity toward Katie. Yes, she struggled with the lack of attention in the beginning, but now the rhythm of life with a little sister has started to hum. Just wait until she has to share her toys with her. That will be something.

Some more about my first born. She is smart, like I said before. This comes out in some not good ways, too. It didn't take long for us to discover this one's got a strong will! It's been quite a journey, one we're still working through. And the drama! Wow, her highs are high, her lows are low. But boy, does she ever love like there's no tomorrow. My first born is extremely affectionate and loves hugs and kisses. Touch is very important to her. Rarely does a day go by where I am not showered with her affection. I think Katie also has learned to brace herself when a kiss from B is coming. What a girl.

I find myself getting impatient again these days. We've had a lapse of wetting the bed at night...I know, I know, it's normal. But this kind of thing gets frustrating; another situation to deal with. Also, since I'm usually in the middle of tending to Baby, my fuse is short since I expect to be obeyed immediately. Ha! Brilla senses this and pretends she has all the time in the world to obey! God truly does give us children to train us and test us. It's also payback time ;)

I have a feeling Katie will be more laid back than Brilla. She hardly ever cries and is so easy-going about her schedule. Let me rephrase that, for the most part she does not cry. She lets us know when she is bored or tired, for sure! Seriously, though, this girl is very amiable. And nursing her has been such smooth-sailing. It helps that this is the second time 'round and I've learned a few tricks of the trade.

Looks like it's way past midnight and I should have been in bed long ago. Especially since Baby has been going down earlier this last week. You'd think I'd covet the extra hours of sleep! But no, I choose to blog. What am I thinking?? ;)

Glorious Books!!

2010-07-02T15:05:00.001-07:00

Seems like I am reading a gazillion words of information every day. I love to research and I love to read, which can be a pretty hefty combination. Right now, I am reading an amazing book entitled "Real Food for Mother and Baby: The Fertility Diet, Eating for Two, and Baby's First Foods". It is rich with food and nutrition details and expounds on what your body does with it! It's also written in such a down-earthy, easy-to-understand way. I would highly advise that if you're in any of the above stages (trying to conceive, pregnant, breastfeeding or raising a toddler), you should read this book. You'll want to keep it on hand as a reference!

I'm also addicted to cook books. Don't know what's wrong with me. I could sit for hours on end reading recipes and cooking methods/tips. I just eat it up. Get it? Ha. Right now I have 4 Williams & Sonoma books I'm going through.

Magazines are also in my diet. Costco sells them for 30% off the cover price, so often I can't resist. I especially love Consumer Reports, Everyday with Rachael Ray and yep, you guessed it, all the other cooking magazines. I also love the Kitchen, Home Decor and Home Plan magazines. So yeah, just about all of them!

Since I have a limited amount of time in my day. And I have to feed my kids, too - I will get audio books. Like right now, I'm listening to So Long Insecurity by Beth Moore. If you haven't read or listened to this book, it's a must. I've learned so much about myself and I'm only 30 minutes into it.

Okay, I have to take my nap now. If I don't, I'll never get a chance.

Third Day and Another Recipe (Pizza!)

2010-06-30T09:47:00.000-07:00

If you read my last post, you will be amazed to find out I am no longer depressed. I've been re-inspired. Thank you ladies for your encouraging words. Talk about emotions going haywire! Reminds we why I started this blog in the first place. A spot to vent my feelings, thoughts, prayers, etc. Women need that!

Anyhow, this is my third day on the road to becoming a slimmer "me". I went to a fitness clinic this past Friday, which motivated me to take a look at my caloric intake again. Eating better is my key to losing. Like I've said before. I love to work out, but don't like to curb food. I also reserved some books at the library that advise how to lose while breastfeeding, but at the same time enhance milk supply.

My goal is to lose 2.5 lbs per week/5 lbs every 2 weeks...for a total of 20 lbs by August 28th. That date is significantly my 6th anniversary!! That I'm nursing is a disadvantage. I can't just skip meals. I have to be intentional about what I eat/don't eat.

So far, I've lost 2 lbs! I've been logging my calories, which can be fun if you look at like a game. I try to plan out my meals and snacks ahead of time...so I'm not grasping in starvation at anything that looks good, then hanging my head while logging it in. I was eating about 3 desserts at day: handful of jelly bellies, a donut, some ice cream at night. Bad, bad girl. Also, my eating wasn't all that healthy, either. Overall, I eat my fiber, veggies, etc. But I've been having HUGE portions (when you're nursing you feel like you're starving), extra butter here, extra cheese there. You get the picture. My diet needs some tweaking.

So yes, I'm counting even my pats of butter, sprinkling of cheese, and spreading of mayo. I allow myself one dessert at night, which is usually ice cream. How I love that stuff. Right now I'm hooked on Breyers chocolate. Yum.

My husband's decided to lose a little weight, too. In fact, he went with me to the gym last night, while the girls when to child care. Kind of like a date! Except he was playing basketball and I was upstairs running my little sore buns and feet off. It hurt good, though.

Btw, I made this BBQ Chicken and Onion Pizza last night. It's to die for. Plus, it's only 320 cals a slice. Here's the recipe:

1. Preheat oven to 425 degrees. Slice large red onion (regular onion will do) and 2 plum tomatoes. Dice 4 strips turkey bacon.

2. Heat a 12-in skillet over medium heat til hot. Lightly spray with cooking spray. Add onion, bacon and 2 cloves pressed garlic. Cook and stir 10-12 min until onion is tender and lightly browned. Stir in 1/2 cup smoky bbq sauce; remove from heat. Stir in 2 cups diced cooked chicken; set aside.

3. Lightly sprinkle pizza pan with flour. Unroll two packages (10 oz each) of refrigerated pizza dough and arrange side by side on pizza pan, shaping into a circle. Roll dough to edge of pizza pan, pressing seams to seal.

4. Spread chicken mixture over dough to within 1/2 inch of edge. Arrange tomatoes evenly over top of pizza.; sprinkle with 1 cup (4 oz) shredded cheddar & Monterey Jack cheese blend. Bake 18-22 min or until crust is golden brown. Remove from oven; let stand 10 min. Sprinkle with 1 TB snipped fresh parsley. Cut into wedge. Makes 8 servings.

Note: I make my own pizza crust, prebake, then add on the chicken mixture and bake until desired doneness.

2010-06-23T15:39:00.000-07:00

I'm a little discouraged.

My post-baby weight is not falling off quite as fast as I'd like it. And it's depressing me. I feel so fat, frumpy and unlovely :(

I've been working out, but I've also become addicted to sweet yummies. I know that's part of the problem and I know it takes time to lose the weight. But I'm still depressed about it.

Went to go try on dresses at Ann Taylor, picked a couple out, but then came home and a family member mentioned that once I got rid of my tummy fat (they said it nicely, but still), they would look better. I all at once put the dresses down, pretended I needed to deal with Katie, rushed down the hallway, and shed tears. Ever gotten into that rut of self-pity?

Well, I'm there.

The Sun Peeked Out (Finally)

2010-06-23T08:11:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was gorgeous!

We started off the day with my chiropractic appointment. Always a nice start. My chiropractor was wanting me to come in 3x a week, and I told him I just couldn't do that. Not with 2 girls in tow. Especially when one of those times includes an hour-long massage! My girls are good, but not that good! My neck is feeling so much better since I've gone though. The main reason why I started is because it was giving me trouble, increased further by nursing Katie and lugging her carrier around.

I like having my appts early. We can zoom over to the gym afterward. I did a good 5 miles. Felt wonderful. To be completely honest, it always starts off that my upper body feels like flopping jelly, but as my body melds into the workout, the weird feeling dissipates. It's a good thing I have gumption because working out after having a baby is not for wimps.

I had mentioned to Brilla before working out that we "might" go to the beach. You know what that means to kids. By the time I'd picked her up from child care, all her little friends and woman in charge "heard" we were going - "Have fun at the beach!" the woman said as we exited. I chuckled to myself. That's what I get. Of course, it wasn't quite the chore to go; the weather was so sunny and warm. A much needed respite from the rain! We headed home to make up a quick picnic lunch, complete with strawberries.

Ah. I wasn't prepared for the utter bliss of laying out in the sun. While Brilla played in the sand and water, Katie and I chilled on our blanket. I sipped water and browsed my latest magazine.

Before we arrived, I scouted out the best spot. You must understand, this is a VERY small beach. Last time, I made the mistake of being beside a woman who let her dog sniff out all our food and belongings, repeatedly, blaming it on being "rambunctious". To boot, there were these kids who had a ton of beach toys but decided they wanted to play with Brilla's one bucket and shovel, kept taking it away from her. The parents were nowhere to be seen, until the dad finally showed from afar.

This time was a (little) better. After we parked ourselves, another family came and wouldn't you know, the mom smoked. If it wasn't such a hassle, I would have moved. I just hoped she's put it out soon, which she did. Then they pulled out their metal detector and started scanning the entire beach for "treasure". When the machine beeped, they promptly pulled out their shovel and began digging. This happened time and time again. Odd, but I guess each one enjoys the beach in their own way. I just laid back and continued to soak up the sun and my magazine :)

Everyone was in a good mood the whole time and we even made it back home in time for naps.

Later in the evening, I made Meatballs in Meat Sauce for the first time. It was like Little Italy in our kitchen. Yum.

I had spent waaay too much time on my feet, so I finally sat on the couch with my hubby and we watched reruns of our favorite show, The Good Wife.

Made for a great Tuesday~

Meat-a-ball-es!

2010-06-23T08:05:00.000-07:00

Trust me, this is delicioso!! Even my husband liked it!! Takes about an hour to cook, but worth every minute.

Meatballs in Meat Sauce with Rigatoni

1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil

1 1/2 lbs ground beef, pork and veal mix (I just used ground pork/beef)

4 garlic cloves, grated or finely peeled

1 carrot, peeled and grated

1 onion, grated or finely chopped

1 bay leaf

Salt and black pepper

2 cups chicken stock

1 (14 oz) can crushed tomatoes

1 (28 oz) can whole plum tomatoes (San Marzano)

1/2 cup walnut pieces

1/2 fresh flat-leaf parsley (Italian), a couple of handfuls, coarsely chopped

2 slices or torn white bread or 1/2 cup bread crumbs

1/3 cup whole milk

1 egg

A couple pinches of ground allspice

1 cup grated Romano cheese

1 lb rigatoni

2 TB butter, cut into small pieces

Heat the oil in a saucepot or deep skillet over medium to medium-high heat. Add about 1/2 pound of the meat and break it up into very small pieces. Lightly brown the meat for a couple of minutes, then add half of the garlic and the carrot, onions, and bay leaf to the pan. Season the meat and veggies with salt and pepper and cook until the veggies are tender, 5 to 6 minutes. Stir in the stock and crushed tomatoes. Drain the whole plum tomatoes, then crush them with a wooden spoon and add to the sauce. Reduce the heat to low.

While the vegetables cook down, bring a pot of water to a boil over high heat. Toast the walnuts in a dry skillet over medium heat until fragrant and light golden brown, about 4 minutes. Let them cool for a minute or two, then crush them or chop fine in a food processor.

Place the remaining pound of meat in a bowl and add the rest of the garlic and parsley, bread, milk, egg, salt, pepper, allspice, a handful of the Romano, and the walnuts. Roll the meat into 16 balls, 1 1/2 to 2 inches around, then drop them in to the sauce to simmer. Once the last ball has been added to the sauce, cook the meatballs 10 to 12 minutes longer to make sure they are all cooked through.

About 8 minutes before the meatballs are done, salt the pasta water and add the rigatoni; cook al dente. Drain the pasta, then return it to the hot pot along with the butter., the remaining Romano cheese, and a few ladles of the pasta sauce. Stir to melt the butter and coat the rigatoni a with cheese and sauce. Transfer to a large serving platter and top with the remaining sauce and the meatballs, or serve the meatballs and sauce right from the pot.

Good Intentions

2010-06-16T20:29:00.000-07:00

Before I get started, please pray for my friend, Sarah. She just recently found out she lost her baby (miscarriage). She has had one boy, a miscarriage, another boy, then this miscarriage. I'm sure her heart is aching right now. So if you get a chance, please bring her before the Father.

I have such good intentions when it comes to various projects in my life. Like scrap booking. Did you know last year I finally finished the pages for my high school graduation? Yes, lame. And I still have not attempted sewing. I have a whole box full of sewing pages and tools. Instead, I have been nursing, changing diapers, laying kiddies down for bed, cooking dinner, and cleaning my house. Wash, rinse, repeat.

There are so many things that other moms are doing out there I truly admire. But every mom at some point faces the reality she can't do it all. She must decide what is important to her and her family and stick with that. Even if it's just ironing all the shirts for your husband (or something like that, my husband never needs his clothing ironed unless we're going to wedding and even that's pushing it for him).

My big thing lately has been getting my daily time with the Lord. No, I don't have a whole hour chunk. But I do have about a half-hour before my daughters wake up. Or 15 minutes before bed time. I naturally want to get started right away on my to-do list, but have to remember that my whole day needs to be dedicated to the Lord because He will give me wisdom as to what to accomplish, give or take a few things on my list :)

So I am officially starting Beth Moore's Believing God. I've heard from countless friends that her books are amazing. Of all my goals, this is the most vital. I love my Jesus so much and want to get to know Him and serve Him better.

My other goal has been to get back to cooking meals at home. It's been 2 months since I've had baby, and we've eaten out a ton. Not good for the body nor the wallet. To make it fun, I've been adventuring straight through my Rachael Ray cook book. I'm determined to get through it, even if it kills my husband. Just kidding. He doesn't like all the combinations of seasonings that she has in her recipes, a little too rich or a tad off for his taste. I absolutely love all of them. But then, I'm a bit bias, being the cook.

My third goal I'm working at is losing weight. I have made it to the gym 3x a week for the past 3 weeks. I not only want to shed the extra pounds from pregnancy, but I also want to tone my tummy, since 3 pregnancies will do quite the number on ya. AND I want to get in shape for soccer again! But we'll see if I even have time for that. Games are in the evening and usually in the evening, I just want to snuggle with my hubby on the couch while we watch TV and play with the girls. However, my biggest struggle is not with working out. It's food. I love cooking food and eating it. I'd rather run 3 miles than curb my eating. Herein lies my challenge.

As for the all those books (earlier post) I am wanting to get through, you can guarantee I always make time for reading. Whether it's on the treadmill, during toilet time (I know, TMI), or a bit in between the girls' naps, reading has always been a part of my life. My idea for a perfect day would be sitting in a lounge chair with a cup of hot coffee or chai latte, holding a good read, while my husband massages my feet. Oh. Yeah.

But until then, I am plugging away at the day-to-day that God has for me! I honestly love my life and wouldn't have it any other way! I have nothing to complain about. Some days dip and others peak, but the one thing that never fails is that God stays the same. I can depend on God for every need I have. I don't have to carry my burdens (though I often choose to), but can lay them all at His feet. His mercies are new every single morning. "Great is Thy faithfulness"!

New Recipe

2010-06-10T21:14:00.000-07:00

Skillet Tamale Pie

Plain name for such an amazing recipe! Here is an actual link if you'd like to see pictures.Tried this tonight and just had to share. And yes, it's from Rachael Ray (love her!):

1 TB EVOO (extra virgin olive oil) once around the pan

1 quart (4 cups) chicken stock

2 cups whole milk or half-and-half

2 bacon slices, chopped

3/4 lb ground beef

3/4 lb ground pork

1 med onion, chopped

1 small red or green pepper, seeded and chopped

1 jalapeño pepper, seeded and thinly sliced

3 to 4 garlic cloves, chopped

1 TB chili powder

2 tsp ground cumin

Pinch of ground cinnamon

Salt and black pepper

1 (15 oz) can tomato sauce

2 cups quick-cooking polenta

A handful of fresh cilantro or parsley, finely chopped

1 cup shredded Cheddar or Monterey Jack

Note: Instead of using the chicken stock, milk and polenta as given in recipe, I bought pre-made polenta in a tube, heated in a pan, while adding some chicken stock/milk to taste and to liquefy.

Preheat the broiler to high and place the oven rack 1 run beneath the highest level of your oven.

In a large skillet, heat the EVOO over medium-high heat to high heat. Combine the chicken stock and milk or half-in-half in a pot to bring to a boil over medium heat.

Add the bacon to the hot EVOO and cook for 2 minutes or until crisp, then add the ground meats, raise the heat to high, and cook until they are browned, 3 to 4 minutes. Add the onions, bell pepper, jalapeno, and garlic and season with the chili powder, cumin, cinnamon, salt and pepper. Cook for 5 minutes to soften the vegetables, then stir in the tomato sauce and heat through, 1 minute more.

While the meat cooks, whisk the polenta into the simmering stock and milk. Stir for 5 minutes, or until the polenta is thick and masses together in the pot. Fold in the cilantro or parsley. Use a rubber spatula to spread the polenta over the meat mixture and top with the cheese. Place the skillet under the hot broiler to brown the cheese and set the polenta, about 1 minute. Serve directly from the skillet.

The taste of this is rich and your family may not want the plain tamale pie as usual!

2010-06-04T23:03:00.000-07:00

Really should be in bed right now. But with both girls asleep, and my husband just having snoozed off next to me on the couch, I can't resist a few words on here :)

My swim workout went well; I survived at least. I kept having to put away those little voices that said 'you don't have a swim cap', 'you'll look fat in your suit', and 'just walk on the elliptical'. So I just did it. Felt good to do something that every ounce of me naturally did not want to do. Next time I'm hoping to do a few more laps and focus a lot more on kicking from my hips, since that's the area I want to shed. Boy, was I ever exhausted after that swim. My eyes were droopy all afternoon! What a weenie I am.

I have no book report. And I've added a fourth. Ha. "Should Vaccines Be Mandatory?" It's a book that gives equal voice to both sides of the issue. I've been researching vaccines lately. One thing is disturbing. Did you know that the Hep-A, Chicken Pox and Rubella vaccines are from aborted fetal tissue and have no ethical alternatives? Also, Hep-B and HPV are mainly contracted sexually, so infants and school-age children are at little risk? I'm not 100% against vaccines, but I do believe some are unnecessary. Some, like measles and mumps, DO have alternatives. Some I believe, like Pertussis, are vital. I'm all about doing your research and knowing what's going into your children. If you have a researched opinion you'd like to post, please share.

We went to Mama Stortini's tonight. I didn't have dinner prepared because I thought we had softball tonight and would grab something on the way. But it was cancelled. Bummer, we were looking forward to it. I ordered the veggie pizza and it was okay. Next time I will order with the regular red sauce, not the white garlic. For dessert we got chocolate buttercream samples from Sees. Our favorite.

Upon getting home, the girls had much needed baths. Little Katie loved bath time; especially getting her hair washed. And she basked in all the attention during her lotion rub :)

Just received my goodies from Mom4Life! A new nursing bra, nursing tank, and BumGenius diapers; my nursing strap is yet to come. You really should try the Bravado Nursing Bra and Tank. They are a little $$, but you will never need to buy another one. They offer such great support. And when you're nursing, especially right after having your baby, you feel very floppy and jellyish (at least I do!). The tank is longer, too, than most nursing tanks out there and covers that post-baby flab. Wow, I could be a sales lady for them. LOL.

Today I didn't get much done. Just kept the tiny one on schedule with her naps and feeding. She has a little eye goo which signals an infection, so want to give her plenty of sleep and food. I did pay some bills, fold clothes, and hang with my bro. But mostly just relaxed. Sometimes we need days like that. Especially since tomorrow (Saturday) will be filled to the brim!

Good night then, I need the sleep!

8 Weeks and Other Stuff

2010-06-02T07:31:00.000-07:00

Katie is 8 weeks as of Memorial Day, not quite 2 months. She is "talking" - cooing, ahhing, smiling. She's sleeping from 10:30-7 and giving Mommy more rest. She's also gripping long lego pieces, rolling from tummy to back (she loves tummy time), and finally getting this nursing thing down. I also finally started her on cloth diapers. She was just too little in the beginning for a huge bulky diaper. I am finding the prefolds by Econobum to be great. I'm able to simply wipe out the cover for the next diaper. As for the messy blowouts, those I just throw into a baggy to be washed later. At the end of the day, I wash a hot load of icky diapers. We've saved a lot of money already with these things. I've ordered a few bumGenius diapers to see how those compare. They will be easier for my husband to change!

We can't believe it's June around here already; the rain is not making it seem possible. However, this rain has been a great excuse to stick around home, keep my girls' schedules regular, do house work and plan for Summer/Fall piano. My 3 1/2 year old still takes naps, which has been nice. She's a big helper and second mama with her little sister. Never have I seen any animosity toward her new little sibling. I know that may change as they get older, but the initial transition has gone very well.

I am working out again. It feels good to be walking, running, and doing the elliptical. The first time was rough, but I am surprised how easily I've gotten back in the groove of things. At Fred Meyer, I bought myself a "between bodies" outfit to exercise in. This week, I experiment with swimming. I know it's a great workout, but don't know if I'll survive. My reward is a hot tub soak afterward.

On Memorial Day weekend, my brother came home for summer break. He has one more year, then he's got his Masters in Business, already has his Bachelors in Engineering. Isn't that amazing?! I'm so proud of him. We are so happy to see him again, especially Brilla. She constantly talks about her uncles, but it was all that more exciting to have Uncle Brian here in the flesh. Uncle Sean is traveling this summer with an ensemble team. He plays piano for the performances, then sings with the group when they have a track. My brother is an amazing pianist. He was my best student. He loves music, specifically piano, and has natural performance talent. I never had to motivate him to practice. In fact, sometimes we had to beg him to stop. We will see him later in the summer for a couple weeks.

Memorial Day was relaxing for us. My husband was going to go in for work, but he hurt his back doing dishes for me (I know, poor baby). Seriously, though, he's a tall guy, and the bending over in that position for a long period (there were a lot of dishes) caused his back to be incredibly sore. Anyway, he had really bad muscle spasms, so he just hung out, making business calls, doing paperwork, and helping me around the house. B and I headed out during Katie's nap for some girl time. Later that evening, Mike and I went out for our first date since 2 months before Katie came. It was heaven. We went to dinner at McCormick & Schmick's, bought dessert, then came home to eat it while we watched a movie. So nice not to have to put our oldest down for bed! Had the best night's sleep ever. We need to do this again soon.

I have a new interest...sewing. I'm excited to learn. Way back, my grandmother, over the period of a year, ordered page after a page, a sewing series so that I could learn. Now it sits in a box in my garage. I feel bad for having never used it. But I have absolutely no desire to sort through that whole series to learn. I have currently borrowed some books from the library. All I need is a sewing machine. I'll probably borrow my mother's, then buy one for myself if I have enough interest and need it at my fingertips. I see all these cute baby items, curtains, etc. that I want to buy but are too expensive.

My goal lately has been to get at least one book completed. I'm reading about 3 things at once. I love to read, but I have to choose! Right now my reads are Bringing up Girls, Walt Disney World with Kids 2010, and Bundle of Trouble, not to mention a few magazines. Hopefully, the next time you read my post, I can give a report on one book!

A Fully Full Day

2010-05-13T21:43:00.000-07:00

We did so much today, and I'm so tired, I canNOT wait to lay my head down.

On the way to the park, we stopped at Costco and had some hot dogs and soda. I tried to fool Brilla and gave her lemonade. But she caught me and I ended up giving her soda after all. I can try :) Next, it was pure relaxation in the sun for about 2 hours. Brilla played to her heart's content. Half of her fun is running around with all the other girls her age. She's a social butterfly. Wonder where she gets that from? ::mischievous grin:: We ate so unhealthy today. My snack at the park for us was M&M cookies and Cheetos. You can guarantee it was popular though. After a long stretch in that sun, we headed for some shade at a local consignment shoppe, while Mama got her fun in. I bought a couple things for my body in its "transition phase". I will keep the size undisclosed to protect the innocent party.

About the "transition phase". I dislike how my body looks about the 5th or 6th week postpartum, as I'm sure every new mom does. Reality kicks in. My body is NOT the same as it was at all. The stretch marks are stretchier, the hips are wider, the rear end more cellulitier. If that's even a word. Sometimes I close my eyes between taking my clothes off and trying the new ones on. It's just easier that way. I had someone be very nice and tell me I looked great the other day, "for just having had a baby". Ha. Anyway, I've decided it's not the best time to shop for clothing. I simply end up dissatisfied, frustrated, frumpy and hot all at once.

We had to stop at another park because I had to feed Katie. That girl takes a lot of maintenance ;) So I figured, why not nurse her at a park where B can play again?

I didn't feel like making dinner for just two people (one being a picky toddler who takes forever to eat), so I asked Brilla where she wanted to go. She chose Panera Bread. Wonderful, as we needed a little health for the day. On the way home, I picked up a couple movies at BlockBuster.

After a super long day, I am happily exhausted. After I nurse Katie, it's off to LaLa Land immediately. Did I say how tired I am? Even as I type this last sentence my eyes are drooping...

The Bad and The Good

2010-05-13T07:32:00.000-07:00

The bad news is that I have the staff infection, Merca, on my leg. The good news is that it is healing right on schedule with all the antibiotics I've been taking. A few posts ago, I mentioned my leg was in lots of pain, the OB nurse attributing it to a very low immune system. That was the wrong diagnosis. At the time, the cut on my knee wasn't very big, so I didn't mention it. Fact was, it was infected with Merca, and that is why my lymph node swelled up, inflammation spreading throughout my leg. Thank Jesus I went with my intuition that this thing wasn't getting better and headed to the doctor. They did the typical numbing of my knee (ouch!!), drastically squeezing the pus out (it was deep in there) as only a hospital can do, taking a culture, and bandaging it up. And got a nice tetanus shot to boot :) If I would've known it would be so involved, I'd have left my children in another's care.

Now my day involves watching the clock a lot...for nursing Katie, taking medication 4x a day, taking acidophilus, prenatal vitamin (have to watching timing, iron would cancel out med's effectiveness) and Vit C. Whew. Feel like I'm popping pills in my mouth all the time. But I feel great. And that's what's important. It was awful to have my leg hurt so bad I couldn't get around.

We're having girl time this weekend! Daddy is in Malibu (Canada) for a retreat, so we have some fun stuff planned! Painting toes, going to the playground, walking at the beach, and garage saling. This Saturday will be busy. My husband's chiropractor is having a "Patient Appreciation Day" and offering free exams, x-rays and adjustment to family members ($200 value). I got a slot! Before that, though, Lakeland Hills development is having their annual community garage sale. We'll be looking for toys for our backyard and maybe snag a few other things ;) After that, I go to care for my husband's grandmother. She recently fell and can hardly get around because of her soreness/pain. Thankfully, she has other help during the weekend and week.

Can you believe it's May already? Since having Katie, the days have flown. She is 5 weeks and smiling and cooing constantly. Such a fun stage. She's also on a regular schedule. Sleeping so well, too. She usually wakes up once in the night...2/3 or 4ish then sleeps until 7. Good eater - I used to worry she wasn't nursing long enough, but I've come to realize both my girls only take about 15 minutes total when they're newborns. Funny, her little toys are taking over the house...swing, bouncher, tummy time thing, other toy where she lays on her back. We're calling it "Katie's Castle".

Brilla is becoming quite the helper and little mother. Putting Katie' socks back on, adjusting her straps on her bouncer, bringing me diapers and such, covering her with her soft blankie, and picking her up without me knowing it (yeah, that one was pretty scary!). We've noticed when Daddy gets home, she wants just as much attention as Katie gets. But that's just plain 'ole desire for affirmation. It's been a challenge to not let Brilla get bored while I'm caring for Katie. I have this list of things to do with her/for her so I don't run out of ideas. Thankfully, the weather has been warmer lately, so she can run around outside.

Oh, I got to hang out with my neighbor the other day. She watched Brilla while I went to my dentist appointment. Afterward, I brought a salad, she made chicken and rice, and we had lunch while talking about everything under the sun. She's getting her driver's license, which will be nice for her and the boys to get out. It was just fun to talk to another mom, not kids all day!

Belated Happy Mother's Day

2010-05-10T13:15:00.000-07:00

My Mother's Day post is late but here it is anyhow.

It's Monday morning and I've been browsing my blog list. I am amazed at how so many women have the presence of mind to blog on (or before) Mother's Day. Wow. After reading, I have been awesomely blessed. I have cried and laughed this morning as I've gone on others' journeys.

Many of the blogs I follow belong to other moms who have angel children. I know our children aren't actually angels, but they are in heaven. Anway, this is why I've cried and laughed. I've been reminded of the gift of motherhood and what it means to be a mom. It's not about the flowers, chocolates, or surprise gifts but about the love for your children, the hugs and kisses, the sweet coos and dirty hands. It's thanking Jesus for the privilege of raising these little ones for His glory.

I feel so honored this Mother's Day-after.

I have 2 beautiful daughters, Brilla Felicity and Katie Claire, with me here on earth. They are terribly precious. I wouldn't trade the childhood stage they're in right now for anything. These years will be past before I know it, so I bask in each day. As for my Amelia, she's beautiful. I am sure of it. She is the most blessed daughter of all, for she's in heaven. I think back on the day I found out she had gone to heaven and tears flows down my face. My heart was so broken then, the pain so acute. But now, through my tears, I am rejoicing that she's praising her Maker. She is not sad, and I cannot be sad for long. It will be all too soon before I get to join her on that Shore.

For Mother's Day, my mother was out-of-town visiting my brothers, so my dad joined us and my husband's family for a beautiful sunny day at my in-laws' home. It was not restful - with kids running to and fro it never really is - but it was worth it. The men contrived the meal with us ladies only helping to set the table. We had rotisserie chicken, Swiss steak, new potatoes, buttered carrots, green salad, and bread. It was delicious!! Dessert was very sweet with cream cheese brownies, fruit tart, coconut cream pie, pumpkin bars and Reese's PB cookies. I ate a little more than I should have :) My husband and daughters gave me the sweetest card and a dozen pink roses. I am so grateful for Michael, Brilla and Katie Claire. My beautiful family that God has given me. My dad gave me a gift from he and mom - a gorgeous tea cup with a tea strainer and little tea bag rest. If you know me well, you know I love tea parties, etc. My tea collection is growing!

It is funny though, how we forget the value of being a mom amidst the hustle and bustle of life. Oh, Lord, please help me to never forget how rich I am in love. Surrounded every day by it. And God bless the mothers who are in pain this day, those who yearn to yet be mothers, those whose children are full grown and have flown the nest, those without children who mentor younger women. God knows your heart and may you be strengthened by your Heavenly Father.

A Lesson to be Learned

2010-05-04T09:18:00.000-07:00

I am sitting with my leg propped up wishing I was up and at 'em.

The past few days I discovered that my upper inside thigh was very sensitive to the touch, but there was no bruising or swelling at all. I've never had this happen before. Then, just yesterday, I discovered a lump on my upper thigh, where it connects to my abdomen. So I called the doctor, and they got me an appointment right away! Good thing it was Monday morning, not Friday afternoon.

The nurse practitioner saw me and knew what it was almost right away. She said it was a swollen lymph node and inflamed nerves. Whew. Though I'm glad it was not cancer-related, she did let me know that it is still serious. This is the perfect scenario to have some neurological problems, seeing that I just had a baby, am nursing, I'm getting little sleep, and just recovered from a bad cold. Babies are like little parasites! They suck it all out of you. She said I've probably been doing more than I should, sooner than I should. I need to control my activity (like not go to the Spring Fair and walk around for 4 hours, 2 weeks after I have baby!). Basically only do what's necessary. And I need to boost my immune system by taking, in addition to my prenatal vitamin, 2000 mg of Vitamin C daily.

Well, I'm learning my lesson about taking it easy after having a baby. Especially when you have more than one child. I think I've also exhausted Brilla, because after I climbed out of my bath, it was completely silent. She is napping like a newborn in our bed room. Poor girl. I'll bet I'm not the only one not getting woken up by Katie in the middle of the night :(

Oh, and to boot, I have this random infection just below my knee. It started with an ingrown hair, which I promptly removed. But then the spot got infected and has gotten red and puffy. So I just took a bath in Epsom salt and am about to put a little Neosporin on top. My left leg is basically shot. It hurts to walk around. Please leg, heal soon!!

National Honesty Day

2010-04-30T07:22:00.000-07:00

"He is the Rock, His work is perfect: for all His ways are judgment: a God of truth and without iniquity, just and right is He." Deuteronomy 32:4

I guess today is National Honesty Day. Who knew? Started by M. Hirsh Goldberg in the early 90's, he said, "April Fools Day begins with a day dedicated to lying (April Fool's Day), and should end on a higher moral note."

In all honesty, let me say I was going to take it easy and finish watching Nacho Libre with a mug of hot chai to start my day. There would be no problem with this, except that I usually start my day with reading God's Word. I'm not disappointed to say I chose the latter after all...even though I will most definitely get to my movie after this post :D I hardly watch movies at home during the day. I never have time and if I do, never get through more than 5 min chunks. This is a special treat!

Honesty Day or not, this gives us a chance to think about honesty and truthfulness. It's a trait all those who follow Jesus should take seriously. Especially since we know God is truth and cannot lie.

There is such a tendency to tell half-truths, white lies, and stretchy truths. Basically, all facades. Why is it so hard to say what we mean and mean what we say? I think we've forgotten the power of honesty. The power of being able to trust someone's word. There is great comfort and endurance in that.

So today (and tomorrow and the next), honesty will be in the forefront of my mind. I am striving to make sure my word can be trusted. We serve a God whose Word is rock on which we stand, should we not emulate that?

Here are some "truth" Scriptures to think about: Deut. 32:4, Num. 23:19, Heb. 6:18, Prov. 6:16-19, Jn. 8:44, Prov. 13:5, 1 Cor. 13:6, Col. 3:9, 1 Pet. 2:1, Prov. 12:17-22.

2010-04-23T10:23:00.000-07:00

Meditating on this passage today:

To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven.
A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted.
A time to kill, and time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
A time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away.
A time to rend, and a time to sew together; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak.
A time to love, and time to hate; a time of war, and time of peace.

What profit has he that works where he labors? I have seen the travail, which God has given to the sons of men with which to be occupied. He has made everything beautiful in His time: also He has set eternity in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God makes from the beginning to the end. I know that there is no good in them, but for a man to rejoice, and to do good in his life. And also that every man should eat and drink, and enjoy the good of all his labor, it is the gift of God. Ecclesiastes 3:1-13

It corresponds well with this devotional from Our Daily Bread...

It’s been a long, cold winter, and I am eager for warm weather. I’m tired of seeing bare trees and lifeless brown leaves covering the ground. I long to see wildflowers poke through the dead leaves and to watch the woods turn green once more.

Yet even as I anticipate my favorite season, I hear my mother’s voice saying, “Don’t wish your life away.”

If you’re like me, you sometimes hear yourself saying, “When such and such happens, then I will . . . or, If only so and so would do this, then I would do that . . .or, I would be happy if . . . or, I will be satisfied when . . .”

In longing for some future good, we forget that every day—regardless of the weather or our circumstances—is a gift from God to be used for His glory.

According to author Ron Ash, “We are where we need to be and learning what we need to learn. Stay the course because the things we experience today will lead us to where He needs us to be tomorrow.”

In every season, there is a reason to rejoice and an opportunity to do good (Eccl. 3:12). The challenge for each of us every day is to find something to rejoice about and some good to do—and then to do both. —Julie Ackerman Link

Just as the winter turns to spring,
Our lives have changing seasons too;
So when a gloomy forecast comes,
Remember—God has plans for you. —Sper

Every season brings a reason to rejoice.

The Last Few Days.

2010-04-22T15:20:00.000-07:00

I'm at the point where my body is feeling whole again, and we are getting into kind of a groove. I definitely don't want to get too confident and head out into the wild blue yonder. Have to remind myself to take it slow. But in order not to catch cabin fever, we've been venturing out.

Tuesday, we went to the Supermall to get Katie some church shoes, lacy socks, and frilly hat. Every girl must have her frilly hat. We were only out for an hour and a half, but it was perfect. We forgot it was Tuesday, but were pleasantly surprised to realize that it was when we saw the "$1.00 Pretzel Day" at Auntie Anne's. Yum. Bri and I each got a delicious raisin pretzel. Last time we got this deal, it was the garlic pretzel. Word to the wise, those things are nasty. Basically, it's a pretzel with garlic powder sprinkled all over it, I kid you not. Even Brilla (who will eat anything snacky) scrunched up her face and said, "Mama, I don't like this."

Tuesday are Mike's basketball nights, which is great, because then B and I watch American Idol together! B loves to hear the people sing. Something tells me she'll be a singer some day. We were rooting for Tim Urban. I think he has a great voice (not the greatest up there, though), but mainly because we know him from church and homeschooling long ago! He was just a little guy (about 5) back then. No longer, eh? Honestly, I like Michael Lynch the best. I could imagine myself listening to him for hours. I think Miss Shiobhan Magnus is quite weird. I also think it's funny how she always has to give a speech about why she chose the song. Casey James is not my style, though one can't deny he's got the looks and an amazing voice. Wish he'd branch out bit, just so we could hear more of his natural voice. I think Aaron Kelly should have gone out a while back (I liked Katie Stevens better!), and Crystal Bowersox definitely has a naturally gorgeous voice, just not my style of performance. I heard that Tim did not make this week, which is sad, but it just makes me curious as we get down to the final few!

On Wednesday, my husband had tools stolen from his trailer. He tries to put them all in a container, which he was going to do the next day. The trailer is ruined, too - they couldn't cut the lock, so they cut the latch, and the door can't close. So now he has to get the trailer fixed. Yeah, it's all deductible and such, but that's all happening next year and will set the company back a bit. Thankfully, not everything was taken, and not all the tools were in the trailer/at that job site.

Wednesday evening, our dear neighbor-friend brought chicken pot pie over for our family. She is pregnant with her third baby!! And yes, I did feel a bit awkward that she brought US dinner. However, it was fun to have her over to chat for a while, plus the pot pie was delicious and really helped me out. Even though we're neighbors, we both have kiddos and haven't had time to catch up. Brilla enjoyed the company of having her kids over. After dinner, a couple neighbor girls visited Katie :) One of them had not seen her yet. I think God brought them over because we got into a discussion about what it means to believe in God/Jesus and some other random questions about heaven, hell and the Bible. This is why God has planted us in this neighborhood! Thank you, Father, for drawing these hearts! When they left, I headed to Dairy Queen to grab some blizzards for Mike and I. They're having a special we couldn't pass up :) Are they ever dangerously good!

Today, we went to the doctor's office for Brilla's infected finger. We've been soaking it in salts for days, cleansing with hydrogen peroxide, and using Neosporin, but it is stubborn. The doctor said it should be looking better by Monday at the latest! Yay. After the appointment, we went to Target to get the prescription and shop. Target has a brand new line called "Baby Glam". Talk about adorable!! So I had to get her this little tutu/onesie that has rosettes and rhinestones on it. Another one that was tempting has rhinestoned on the front, "Diva". Too much cuteness! Then we ate at Qdoba, our favorite Mexican place as fast food goes. I then grabbed a caramel macchiato, which I am still sipping on now.

We have been having fun, us three girls! Of course, much of it is unbenownst to my Sleeping Beauty, Katie. She got toted around in her Moby wrap today though. That thing is wonderful!!

After touching up my house, I am finally relaxing on the couch and really feeling grateful for everything I have. I love my husband and my daughters. God joys in giving His children good gifts. Now as I typed that last sentence, little Katie is letting me know it's time to eat again.

Ta-ta for now!

As I sit on the couch in my robe...

2010-04-20T13:14:00.000-07:00

...I wonder what I have accomplished today. I have fed, changed, put to bed little Katie about twice, about to be thrice, now. I have washed my insanely huge pile of dishes. Our dishwasher still doesn't work. Pooh. And if you are married to a construction contractor, you know that small home repairs like that don't get done for at least a few months because you're husband is exhausted enough when he gets home :P I have fed my toddler a semi-healthy lunch of mac 'n' cheese with veggies mixed in. At least it was Annie's. I have washed a load of laundry, and have a load sitting right beside me, ready to be folded. I also did a few school workbook pages with Brilla.

That's it. It's 1:20 and I am still clothed in my robe, have my glasses on, and have not taken that much needed shower that actually all three of us girls need desperately.

My intentions for today?

To clean the bathroom (my absolutely least favorite household chore), dig out my pre-pregnancy clothes out of the garage, and organize/clean my toddler's room. And maybe even get out of the house, as we're all getting cabin fever. Instead, I have been listening to whining all day, which greatly diminished my desire to do anything.

But I am determined to push forward. We may have to have dinner out tonight (such a shame ;P) but I will get those said chores done eventually!

I need to be patient with myself. It's only 2 weeks later from having Katie.

Are you a craigslist addict? Well, I am. And yesterday, I got a great deal on a Graco swing/bouncer. It's a VERY nice black and white toile design with toys on both above and on the tray, complete with detachable bouncher for the infant. For only $10. The gal was also selling a beautiful black sleigh crib and changing table for only $50 (I know, insane!) But as my husband reminded me, we don't need those! :D

Lately, I have been loving Katie's awake times. She has the bluest eyes. And I've been putting her on her tummy a bit. She's already raising that little head up. So cute - today I found Brilla by the crib singing her little sister to sleep. It was precious. Wish I could've taken a pic, but the flash would've been disturbing.

Well, it's time to go get my precious little newborn and feed her. Then get my groove on for the day! The rest of the day anyway.

Spring Fair

2010-04-17T10:04:00.000-07:00

I wish I would have remembered my camera. It was the one thing I'd realized we'd left at home as I was already going on the road.

Let me scoot back a bit. It was late Thursday night. I suddenly remembered it was the Spring Fair this weekend. We had to go! I brainstormed how we were going to go (either just the girls and I or with Daddy, too) and what the weather was predicted to be like. Turns out Friday was going to be the best weather and no, Daddy was not going to be able to go with us!

After mulling it over, I decided we would go; we would just take it slow. So after making a McDonald's stop for breakfast, getting money from the bank, and buying a fair ticket for me, we were finally on the way to Puyallup for the fair. And that's when I remembered our camera.

We found a fantastic parking space right around the corner from the entrance. It was my first time using the sit n stand stroller. It's a Cadillac of a thing. but handy and nice nonetheless. After finally getting inside the gate, it was time to nurse. That took forever it seemed with Brilla bouncing and peeking around corners, ready to hit the rides!

So we headed to our first ride...the hot air balloon-looking one. I was amazed at how many kiddie rides they had open this year. Brilla also rode the swings, fire engine, boats, motorcycles, and airplanes. The only one she got scared of was the small roller coaster. She was already sitting in her seat when she popped up and said, "No, I don't want to go on it!" We lost out on a ride, but it's worth my daughter not being terrified.

The Spring Fair is kid-geared. There are animals to pet - miniature horses, chicks, ducklings, bunnies, goats. And all kinds of others to look at. B was impressed with the alpacas. But she wasn't expecting the alpaca to want to meet her, too, so she fell backwards in surprise when she reached her hand out and it made a noise right in her face. Ha! There's also face-painting, horsie rides, moon walks, kid contests, pig races, doggy dock performances, and pirate shows. We obviously didn't get to all that, like I said we were taking it slow.

It was warm! I had worn a long-sleeved tee just because you never know the weather around here. But I could have worn a tank it was so hot!

We enjoyed some scones and French fries. The ice cream was just too expensive. I couldn't justify $4.75 for 2 scoops of Dreyer's ice cream. Thankfully, B was more than happy to stop by McDonald's on the way home for a huge 99 cent cone.

It was a gorgeous and perfect day. I can't wait to get out again like that. But next time it will be a little easier with my husband along :)

Sunshine

2010-04-14T15:03:00.000-07:00

Amazing what sunshine can do for the body and mind.

I was feeling a little dreary, tired and well, tired. Getting up twice in the night is doing me in. I'm exhausted! I have started little Katie on her semi-schedule already. Eating every three hours, then awake and sleep time in between. But I forgot how hard it is to keep newborns on a "schedule". I've had to be flexible. The awake time cannot be guaranteed one iota, the sleep time, that is a guarantee, and the eating, well, that's not an easy one either since she always sleeping. You would think I wore her out, but it's the other way around. Oh, to sleep like a newborn babe.

So, I'm slightly wary of changing about 8 diapers or more a day. Plus, I'm trying to keep Brilla from going bonkers out of boredom.

Herein enters the beautiful sunshine. I think God sent it just for me! As soon as the warmth touched my skin, ahhh....I literally just sat there, unbathed, unmatchingly dressed in my sweats, Uggs and wild hair, soaking up the sun. After sitting there awhile like that, suddenly it didn't matter when Katie had to eat, what Brilla was asking me a million times, or what I was making for lunch. It just felt good to be. And I thanked God for that wonderful lift in spirit.

We later ventured out to - deposit checks. I know, not very exciting :) But the ladies at the bank were very happy to see Katie. They knew about my former loss, had seen my week after week pregnant, and were glad to see her safely arrived. The one teller I usually do business with even had tears in her eyes. Another bright spot in our day.

For lunch we had leftover spaghetti and pb&j. A weird but satisfying menu. I had the former, B had the latter. We topped it off with a few Jelly Bellies each. The Jelly Bellies are leftover from Easter. Is it just us, or was not this Easter like the most candy (your children) my daughter has ever received in her life?? Worse than Halloween! She got a basket from us, candy from church, two candy gifts from relatives, and two Easter egg hunt stashes! That's my excuse for "helping" her with all that sugar goodness! ::wink::

Yesterday, I was pooped. Mike has basketball on Tuesday nights. So we only saw him for about 30 min before he left again, coming home around 9 p.m. Really, I've always been glad to see him go get exercise and hang with the guys, but it will take some getting used to with two kids.

Well, I actually have a small window of time. I will be taking my much needed bath! And perhaps a nap.

Here's to hoping it's sunny again tomorrow!

Update

2010-04-09T07:59:00.000-07:00

I am so stinkin' sore. I feel like an old lady hobbling around the house. A thorough lower back and hip massage sounds excellent.

As I sat in my bed around 1 am nursing, I looked down at my Katie's face. I am blessed to the hilt to have her. I am exhausted and sore, but it's worth it.

She had her routine check-up yesterday. She's down to 7 lbs, 11 oz. No jaundice. She's breastfeeding and filling her diapers well. And Nancy said happy babies curl their pinkie up when they nurse, which K was doing. Cute~

I've forgotten how much newborns sleep. Seriously. Katie's an expert. I have tried to do the feed/awake/sleep schedule. Maybe in a week it will happen, but not right now. Figured I'd take advantage by taking my long baths, coffee and internet breaks when I can. Ha, didn't even have time for coffee OR internet yesterday. Poor me :)

Brilla is still getting the hang of not getting all the attention. Poor girl. Every time Daddy holds Katie, she wants to be on his knee too. Or when I'm taking a video/pics of Katie, Brilla says, "Mama, look at me!" Well, we all take to our new baby girl a little differently. So sweet, yesterday Brilla leaned over, lightly kissed Katie on the cheek and said, "I love you, Katie Claire."

I, too, am learning how to balance between the two girls. It leaves me worn out. This is only the beginning!

My mom was Mary Poppins yesterday, minus the funny hat. I don't know what I'd have done without her. She came over and basically cleaned my whole kitchen. She cooked us meals. She re-made Brilla's bed, so it actually had a top sheet and matching pillow cases; what a concept. She drove me to our appt with Nancy. She cleaned up B when she had an accident. She cleaned out our rice cooker that has been in the garage for ages before having to use it to make dinner. She did big and small things. Things that, if not done, would have driven me crazy. It really kills me to have someone else clean my stuff up and knowing I can't help. But if ever a time I needed it, this was it. Like I said, I am sore, sore, sore.

Today my mother-in-law is coming over to help. Having an extra pair of hands will be wonderful. I am always tentative to ask for help because I have the superwoman mentality. But we all are superwomen until we collapse for exhaustion. Later on, I'll look back and be very glad I accepted all the offers for meals and such.

Really, the next exciting thing on my agenda is to take a sitz bath. Wahoo. Happy Friday everybody! Come quickly weekend!

Meet...

2010-04-07T15:53:00.000-07:00

~The Girls~

Brilla Felicity and Katie Claire, our duo daughters.

Grand Arrival

2010-04-06T10:52:00.000-07:00

She is here! Our daughter, Katie Claire, has come to us finally!

On Easter Sunday evening, Nancy stripped my membranes and gave the order for a castor oil shake. Yum...2 oz castor oil, 2 raw eggs, few scoops of ice cream and milk :P I think I shall never have Espresso Mocha ice cream again. Throughout the night, contractions came long and hard. However, about 6:30 am on April 5, contractions stopped completely. Nancy got things started again at about 8:30 am and contractions started at 10am. Labor was slow, but intensified quite a bit after Nancy broke my water. Nancy had another midwife assisting with the birth. They were very aggressive in getting her out. Baby Katie was in no hurry to come, but she needed to. At the hospital, doctors would have let Mama just labor on for another day (or two), and then decide on C-section. But no option here, thank God! At only 8 cm dialation, they pulled the cervix over Katie's head and 15 min later, Baby Katie wriggled, or rather, torpedoed, into Daddy's arms, onto Mama's chest at 4:14 p.m. At 8 lbs, 20z and 20 inches long, Katie was bigger than expected. Thankfully, she had a round head, and there was no tearing! For a little detail, the entire placenta came out, but in pieces. It was old, and the midwives were amazed that it held out and Katie was very healthy. Just shows the amazing God we serve! Thank you for everyone's prayers; there were no complications and everything went super smooth.

My husband was the best coach and we are so glad labor is over. Now we are resting and working on the whole breastfeeding adventure. I am getting lots of helping hands from friends and family. We are abundantly blessed and are in awe of God's little miracle to us, Katie Claire!

A Little Peek

2010-04-02T14:32:00.001-07:00

If you're my friend on facebook, you probably already know I got to have a peek at Katie Claire! Since I'm officially one day overdue (from my April 1st due date) and a week overdue (from my original due date), my midwife wanted to get a routine biophysical profile of Baby to make sure everything was okay.

And she is!! Her heart, movement and breathing is excellent. She's just a bit big at 8 lbs, 6oz. You can understand my horror, being that Brilla was only 6 lbs, 5 oz. I don't want to push out anyone bigger than that, so please pray she comes soon!!

At 40 weeks and counting, here is my precious princess, Katie Claire:

Can't wait to see you, beautiful girl!

Visitors!

2010-03-31T11:02:00.000-07:00

No, we don't have termites, though my husband's uncle just found out, through installing new windows, that he has those "fancy ants with wings".

We have live human relatives from the south here to visit! We never have relatives to visit, usually. They think it's very wet and cold. And they are right. But still, I say the PNW is the biggest kept secret around. And let it stay that way.

Ahem. Back to our visitors! My Grandma and Auntie, from Missouri and Texas, respectively, have come for Dad's 50th birthday celebration. I'd like to say they came to see me and the new baby specifically. But that's just a bonus.

So, we will be busy this week chatting to catch up and having way too much coffee. Brilla has already received the cutest little duckie as an early Easter gift from Auntie. I think Katie has some fans already, so she better make her appearance soon!

I have struggled with depression a bit this last week. Amazing how our emotions can bog us down, isn't it? When Brilla was born, she arrived early into our lives, 9 days to be exact. But this has been different. I have been waiting forever it seems to hold my baby. But I have resolved that I will not let it get me down! I have been worshiping the Lord for His goodness and faithfulness, asking Him for the strength to wait a bit longer. His timing is best and always for my good. Besides, Easter is coming. Is it just me, or is this not the most awesome holiday ever! Jesus is alive!!!

Things That Make Me Smile

2010-03-29T16:09:00.000-07:00

...in no particular order of importance.

A clean house, then internet browsing
Fresh-from-the-dryer clothing
Sweet things created for my daughter, like an Easter basket
Homemade wall decor
A good read
Hot chai tea
Caramel macchiato
Pink purse
Candles
The smell of lavender
Having my hair done
" " nails done
" " toes done
Listening to classical music while working on a project
Getting something checked off my list
Having family come to visit - like my Grandma Louise from Missouri on the 30th!!
Free samples
Totally unexpected gifts
Having hubby home
Foot massages
Crackling fire
Carousels
Caramel apples
Apple crisp
Peach cobbler
Mothering magazines
Products on www.mom4life.com
Playing the piano
Selling an item on craigslist
Shopping
Specifically, shopping at kiddy stores
Wearing a new outfit
Wearing makeup
Snuggles with my daughter
Kisses from husband
Hearing my unborn daughter's heartbeat
Looking at old photos
Being invited to dinner
Making a meal my husband says is "Great"
Basking in the sunshine
Picnics on the lawn
Painting my daughter's toes and nails
Girl's night out
Dinner out with my family...anywhere
A vacuumed car
Red shoes
An organized file cabinet
Beef jerky
Jane Austen movies
Watching television while on the couch with my husband
Clean sheets on the bed
New calligraphy pens
Scrap booking
Journaling
Hearing from an old friend
Going on vacation to warm places
Browsing furniture stores which are beyond my pocket book :)
Soccer - Go Sounders!
Football season
Hearing my husband laugh
Listening to a challenging sermon
Getting a stain out

So many others...but I don't want to bore you....

Happy Monday!

Tiredly Typing

2010-03-27T19:00:00.001-07:00

My body is tired; my brain is tired. Vegging on the couch is the activity of choice.

This morning, B and I hung out with my parents. They recently returned from Hawaii (Oahu) and we hadn't seen them in a while. We went out to Marie Callendar's for breakfast. I ordered the Denver omelet and buttermilk pancakes. Yum.

Then, we headed over to the mall. My dear dad watched B play on the toys while Mom and I hung out at the spa! I got a manicure in pretty pink. I never get my nails done, so this was going out on a limb. Seems whenever I paint my nails, they get ruined in record time. Maybe I need to invest in some gloves for dish-washing, or just never cook and clean again. Sounds great, huh? :P At least this Mama's nails look snazzy for when Katie arrives.

After that, we headed to Starbucks for coffee and B got an ICEE from the Target cafe. Felt so good to sit down for a while. There's nothing like sitting after a long trek through the mall when you're 9 months pregnant.

I saw the cutest newborn outfit in Hallmark today! It was decently priced for being so cute. It was a pink tutu over a black onesie, with matching foofy booties. If it weren't for all the sweet stuff Katie has yet to wear, I would have snatched it up in a heartbeat.

After the mall adventures, we headed home. Definitely B's nap time, as she was voluntarily climbing in my lap to lay her head on my shoulder. She fell fast asleep after a single rendition of Twinkle, Twinkle.

While my parents and I were chatting over tacos, Mike came home. I think the highlight of my every day is when Mike gets home from work! Dad showed us nearly all 750 photos - whoa!- and by the end of that, we were all pooped from a long day together.

Mike had to finally admit defeat on a dresser we recently bought off craigslist. Honestly, when I saw that thing come through my front door for the first time, I knew it was a loser. But my husband had hope, so I thought, "Okay". Well, looks like it's not okay and we have wasted a few bucks. But you win some and lose some. Oh well. I'm just glad that thing won't be taking up residence in my bedroom :) Tomorrow we embark on an estate sale furniture hunt for another dresser. It will be interesting.

I'm also looking forward to an awesome sermon at church! The new church we've been visiting is great. The pastor is so deep and speaks with such conviction, not to mention he's spot on with the Word. The praise and worship is amazing, too. I have left each time so full of admiration and deeper love for my Jesus.

It has been such a non-scheduled day, we are just heading out for dinner now. So it's ta-ta until next time. Happy weekend!

While I'm Waiting...

2010-03-22T09:31:00.000-07:00

I am getting cabin fever with waiting for Baby Katie to come. You are probably tired of hearing me say this, but days seems to be creeping by. Even Mike agreed these have been the longest last two weeks ever.

Well, I've decided not to drag my feet, but take advantage of this time in the "waiting room". There will be plenty of moaning and groaning during labor, so might as well enjoy these pre-two-children moments.

This weekend, we got so much done! I have been waiting forever for this certain bookcase to come around and it finally made its appearance in the AS-IS section of IKEA:

Only difference, ours goes horizontal, not vertical. Mike bolstered it up nice and secure. It looks smashing, and it totally opens up the floor space in Baby Katie's room.

We also finally donated some clothing, old piano music, etc to Salvation Army. It had been sitting in the back of our car forever. After getting those things out of the way, I was able to then vacuum the entire Camry and clean it out. Looks lovely now! I also took it for a nice drive in the car wash. I don't wash my car myself anymore. Takes too much time and effort. And for $6, you can't go wrong. Also put in Bri's new booster seat and Baby's infant seat - you never know!

I went in search of lavender smelling salts for when I have Baby. They worked wonders last time I was in labor. I crept into Bath and Body, but they had nothing. Then I remembered Marshall's has such a vast selection of those kind of things! I found exactly what I was looking for...and more!...for about the fraction of the price. Ended up with a wonderful candle, lotion, soap and hair protecting gel - all in lavender. Like I said, a little carried away :)

Sunday service at (hoping new church) was excellent. So inspiring. So Biblical. So challenging and convicting. It was on the last bit of 1 John, 5:18-21, about the 3 "We Knows":

"We know that whoever is born of God sins not; but he that is born of God keeps himself, and the wicked one does not touch him. And we know that we are of God, and the whole world lies in wickedness. And we know that the Son of God is come, and has given us an understanding, that we may know him that is true, and we are in Him that is true, even in His Son Jesus Christ. This is the true God, and eternal life. Little children, keep yourselves from idols. Amen."

I was reminded how important it is to know the Scripture, to know Who I believe in, to know Jesus Christ. There are those out there who know so much about religion, head knowledge, but it's not made a personal impact on their lives, their hearts. I was also challenged to change; repent of my sin, and be conformed to Christ. As we took communion, I was once again in awe of the sacrifice Jesus paid on my behalf. The fact that He took on the sin of the whole world. And suffered the cruelest death, for all the sins He never committed. Wow. What a humble, powerful God we love.

After church, we ate lunch at Costco. We also went shopping, and came away with quite the stock of food. Grapefruit cups, berries, granola bars, Vitamin Water, and other stuff for *when* Baby comes, hopefully this week! We all had naps, then we got out of the house to Alki Beach in West Seattle. It was a bit blustery, but the ocean was blue as ever. We ate at a place called Sun Fish and had fish n chips, garden salad and clam chowder. Yum! I wish we could have walked more. I love walking when I'm pregnant. But it was just too cold. We had not been prepared for the wind!

Though I'm antsy for Katie to come, I'm treasuring these days alone with Brilla. Today we are getting some errands done. But no piano or Bible Study for the week!

Reflection

2010-03-20T18:08:00.000-07:00

"Remembering it over and over leaves my soul downcast within me. But I will call this to mind, as my reason to have hope: The favors of the Lord are not exhausted, his mercies are not spent; They are renewed each morning, so great is his faithfulness. My portion is the Lord, says my soul, therefore will I hope in him." Lamentations 3:20-24

As I read another's blog this evening, my heart was pricked. They lost their precious son as an infant (SIDS) 2 years ago. It made me miss my Amelia. But this verse so encouraged me I had to share it with you all. It applies to ANY situation which causes us deep sorrow. What an amazing promise to know that the grass (and life) fades, but God and His Word last forever. His love, His faithfulness, mercy, and grace last FOREVER. I can bask in that, knowing that our Amelia is in the care of the One who is eternal and never changes.

Though I'm bubbling over with utter joy at our Katie's soon birth, reality reminds me of our previous loss. I feel that only the Christian can truly have live in these contrasting states of joy and sorrow because we know Who holds the future. We're able to go on with life, but we're also able to remember a love lost. Well, because we're children of God, but we're still human.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

2010-03-17T09:34:00.001-07:00

Today is St. Patrick's Day! A happy one to you! My husband is the one with the red hair, yet I am the one who is one-quarter Irish. My granddad is full-blooded Irish (McDivitt). Of course, I am half-Filipino, so the Irish in me is quite unrecognizable! But we are celebrating tonight at McCormick & Schmick's, our truly favorite restaurant. We are taking the little one along. Hopefully, we can get a date night to ourselves before Baby comes, but I wanted B to come along this time.

I am so restless. Tomorrow Katie will be 39 weeks along and counting...according to my original due date, March 25th. After the ultrasound check-up, my date was moved back to April 1st. So who knows, April might be more accurate.

They moved back Brilla's original due date as well, and she arrived 9 days early!! Goes to show, only God knows when Baby Katie will come.

Meanwhile, as I mentioned, I am restless. I am finishing up Katie's room, and still buying a few things I need/want for her here and there. It's a satisfying feeling to know I'm a bit more prepared this time.

I have been trying to walk and move as much as possible. Anything to get this Baby movin'! On Monday, we went to Target, a local park, and another consignment store. On Tuesday, we went to Issaquah for our friend, Caden's, birthday party! What a fun time playing and eating! Then after that, we did a bit of shopping...found B some rain boots and the aforementioned swaddling blankets, at yet another consignment shoppe.

Today we hope to go downtown and look around at the different storefronts. Another favorite consignment is that way. Can you tell we're addicted to these places? We may even visit another park. Any way we can get the visiting sun to seep into our bodies.

Meanwhile, my cooking itch has come back. Monday night, I made some delicious oven-baked cod with homemade fries and steamed carrots. Then I hope to make a hearty casserole tomorrow.

I'm been reading my "Pregnancy, Childbirth and the Newborn" book all over again to re-prepare myself on the whole labor and delivery process. One thing for sure, it's a long, painful road. Even if my first birth was only 8 hrs from first contraction to arrival, it seemed like an eternity. I'm sure this will be none the different! I do "enjoy" natural births, in a sense. My mid-wife specializes in getting Baby out quickly. I think this is helped by such a soothing and relaxing atmosphere. I am also bringing my lavender aromatherapy, as well as my Chris Rice CD. Afterward, both B and I were very alert, and ready to go home after a couple of hours. Back to our own bed and bathroom. Some moms enjoy the hospital stay, and can't say I blame them. Often in our homes, we're tempted to get right back in the swing of things. Thankfully, I have a husband who is very sweet and takes over for a while. So being back home so soon is very relaxing.

Some of the activities my book encourages during the "latent phase" of labor is visiting with friends, listening to music, watching a movie, dancing (yeah, right) or playing cards or other games. Others they mention are working on a hobby, preparing some one-dish meals to freeze and enjoy after birth, or baking bread or a birthday cake. Anything fun, calming or distracting, but not exhausting. I just have one question: Why would a woman want to cook while in labor, if it's hard enough while prego? You can count me out of that one. Well, who knows. Women in labor do strange things.

Friday Randomness

2010-03-12T07:42:00.001-08:00

It is pouring, and I mean, pouring rain outside. Our weather is hilarious. For a solid week, we had nothing but sunshine and warmth, while it was snowing down in Florida. Then, we had a bout of snow...the first all year...the first week of March. Now we're back to the Spring rain! Welcome to Western Washington.

We have finally picked a name! Katie Claire. We just love the sound of it for Baby Girl. Mike likes Katie and I've always adored Claire. Now I can finally get going on her wall decor...

I've been struggling with wall decor. Now I've sprung the cutest idea. Instead of spending quite a few bucks, and buying wooden letters to paint and decorate (as I did with my first daughter's), I will be taking five small 4x6 frames and creating letters K-A-T-I-E inside them, each decorated differently. Hung on different levels, it should be quite pretty. I will have to post when I'm finished.

I am also going to the Supermall today. I believe that place is my new Friday hangout. Hey, coffee and shopping, go figure! Bed, Bath and Beyond is having a sale on 640-thread count sheets. Normally $60, they are 40% off, plus that little dandy coupon they usually send in the mail. My husband and I are big fans of high-thread count sheets; we've seen the difference at how long they last and feel compared to lower counts.

I cut my daughter's hair the other day! I promised her a hair cut thinking there was bound to be a salon in the area that cut toddler hair for around $8 or so. Wrong. At the end of the day, I finally found a place that only cut for $10, but they had no openings left. So, armed with my haircutting tools (I do cut my husband's hair!) and a Shirley Temple movie, Brilla's beautifully long hair was trimmed. And I must say, doesn't look half bad :D It's shorter than I originally planned, but both Daddy and I really like the length. Makes our girl look older. ::Sniff::

Went in for my 38th week check-up yesterday! Baby is very healthy and kicking my ribs! She's running out of room and really should come out soon. But I think she'll figure that out. B said the other day, "Mama, you need to push that baby OUT!" Yes, dear. My mid-wife said that if I haven't gone into labor by next week, she's going to do a nonstress test. Being that I lost Amelia at 28 weeks, she just wants to double-check and be safe. Not that this is top priority, but I've gained a total of 26 lbs with Katie. That is the healthiest pregnancy weight gain yet. It also helps that the cool weather of Winter has reduced swelling and miserableness. Summer pregnancies are so difficult! As for the nonstress test and not having delivered Katie yet, I am not worried. Brilla came 9 days early, and I am still 2 weeks away from my due date. Not to mention, I want her to develop as much as needed while inside! I just want my Baby Girl healthy!

This was my last week for teaching my 2s class. It was bittersweet. Bitter because I won't see my 2s again, and I've really grown to love them. Sweet because I am soon meeting our third daughter, which is a completely wonderful reason to step out of leadership! I am still planning on teaching piano next week, but it will be my last week. I will have to figure out a new schedule for my students, with a second child in the mix. I can't very well nurse while teaching!! All in good time.

I'm currently looking for a file cabinet and dresser off Craigslist. Off course, we may just end up buying something from the "scratch and dent" at Old Cannery. Since Katie will take over what used to be our office, we have moved the office into the garage, and Mike will have to store his clothes in a dresser in our room (currently the nursery closet is where they are). My clothes take up our entire bedroom closet. Mind you, our bedroom closet is very tiny. And a very strange storage design.

Well, that's it for Friday randomocity. Sounds like the down-pour has paused momentarily. Time to get out of my robe and onto my day!

Thoughts on John 16

2010-03-10T20:56:00.000-08:00

I am currently reading John 16. Jesus is giving His disciples some last minute instructions, reiterating the coming of the Holy Spirit, and warning of hard times. Here are some insights I've gleaned:

Would I rather have Jesus with me today, as He was with the disciples? Or would I have Jesus as I do today, in Spirit? It would definitely be beyond awesome to see my Lord face to face. As I think deeper though, I realize if He did not go to heaven, the Spirit could not dwell within us. If the Spirit did not dwell in us, we would be like the disciples were - limited in our understanding of spiritual things, powerless to preach the Gospel to everyone. Also, the disciples didn't instantly have the Holy Spirit. They had to wait until Jesus returned to His Father. Today, the moment we believe upon Jesus in saving faith, we instantly have the Holy Spirit. The Helper who guides us into all understanding about Jesus. I don't have to understand all at once, though. I just need to walk in His truth and I see the next step I need to take in obedience to Him. I feel like never having seen the Lord Jesus, my perception of Him is not limited. To me, I serve a HUGE God.

"These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you might have peace. In the world you will have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world."

I was thinking of a recent time when I felt Jesus' presence in a hard spot, even though He wasn't physically with me. It was last year, and work for the company was low. Totally unexpectedly, Mike threw his back out. He was literally crawling on the floor to get around the house, and laying flat on his back most of the time. He had meetings to be at, projects to oversee and was obviously limited. I had to pick up the slack. Not only that, but I was trying to handle the rigors as a Bible study leader, being pregnant, teaching piano and caring for my daughter. I just remember one day feeling completely overwhelmed. I sat in the hallway, cried my eyes out, and surrendered to Jesus. I think I prayed, "Lord, I can't do this on my own. I am tired. I'm exhausted. Please help me!!" In about 2 minutes, I had a piano student, so didn't have time to wallow in self-pity. All I know is, Jesus answered my prayer and gave me the peace and strength I needed. It was miraculous. I often wonder what moms do without knowing the strength and peace Jesus gives. How do they survive?

I know others have had much more trying circumstances. But we all are on the exact path God wants to take us. Even though physically we must endure tribulation and trouble, those who love Jesus having nothing to fear. All is well with our soul. Our world around us may seem to crumble and collapse, but our faith cannot be taken away.

Going on to another subject, I think it's important not to forget God's showing Himself real to me in the past. Yet, at the same time, I can't live on yesterday's manna. We need to have that daily fellowship with Jesus. So, I've been challenging myself to see how God's worked in my life recently. Not last year, but right now. It's fine to give our testimony of how we first came to Jesus, but what has much happened since then? Do we have any answered prayers? Fulfilled promises from His Word?

For me personally, I have been working on anger/irritability. Not just watching my tongue, but watching my heart. I've noticed a change. I'm not angelic, but Jesus is working out His ways in me. Another area is loving my husband. I truly love my husband and am so incredibly blessed to have him in my life, but often my actions don't match up. I'm your average human woman with weaknesses. I think fear, worry, and selfishness get in the way so often. But they truly are cobwebs which fog up my lens of right spiritual growth and trust in the Lord. Needless to say, I'm still working on this, but instead of feeling like a failure, I know I can meet this challenge with Jesus' power. Though an average woman, I'm unmistakably a child of God with a new nature, wanting to please my Savior!

I love it that Jesus' promises His disciples joy. Not happiness, not a good feeling, but joy. God has given me my joy back. Losing Amelia made a big whole in my heart that only Jesus could fill. Well, Jesus has filled it and even though there's a scar, there's also a blossom of hope. I know He has even greater plans for my life. Especially with our soon to come Katie Claire, and many other things down the road. Life with Jesus is beautiful, even amidst the times of pain and aching.

God has answered our prayer about reaching out to our neighborhood. Before we bought our home, we asked God to lead us to the right area where we could be a light for Him. And as of right now, we have relationship with 6 different neighbors! Praise God! And quite a few of those neighbors have children, whom we've been able to share about Jesus with in our Bible club. Not only that, we are looking for a local church where we can invite those friends/neighbors to. There are some moms I have bonded with, and we're even pregnant at the same time! God is amazing in His timing. Just the fact that my Bible study group is about 10 minutes away is a blessing as well. I'm inviting the neighbor women to come. The awesome thing about Bible Study Fellowship is that they've opened up to "under-2s"! So many more young moms can attend!

If you don't know what Bible Study Fellowship is, I'll describe it in a nutshell. From the get-go, I have found its simplicity life-changing and rewarding. It's a Bible study based solely on the Bible. The first hour is spent in a small group with other women of similar age and Biblical understanding. The discussion surrounds a page of questions given to each woman the week before. The second hour, all the women from the groups gather together to worship and listen to a lecture on what was just discussed in small groups. These lectures are never boring. I always leave more in love with the Lord, and challenged in my faith. The awesome thing is, BSF provides childcare free of charge! And now they take from infant all the way to 5 years old (for day classes). They also have evening classes for women with children in grade school. In day class, your children aren't just in childcare. They are basically in preschool. The time is organized into Story/Bible Verse/Large Muscle/Snack/Quiet Time/Rhythm and even a Closing. So you get your time alone (with other women) studying God's word, knowing your child is getting it from their angle!

I didn't mean to get off the subject of my post, but Bible Study Fellowship has been an absolute blessing in my life. God has shown me so much through it!